Curt Schilling's Shocking Discovery of New York-Boston Animosity

How do I get in on this? If total lack of team involvement doesn't preclude eligibility to guarantee a win, I'd like to toss my hat in the ring. I guarantee (aggressively) an Ohio State win over USC on Saturday. Done.

(What's poor Matt Cassel thinking about all this? This is like some Saved by the Bell episode when Zach makes a bet with Slater or Valley, gets over-confident, and then ups the ante by putting his giant cell phone in the pot. Screech, meanwhile, is tugging on Zach's sleeve trying to alert him to some crucial bit of information that will severely hurt his chances of winning. "But Curt! I haven't started a game since high school!" "Not now, Matt, I'm in the middle of running my mouth off...")

And then there's Curt Schilling denouncing the practice of always having something else to complain about.

...

Too easy.

The New York Yankees

"The Yankees suck this year, and they are bitter and mad and making excuses over that. I was front row and center when their dynasty ended. They want us to be as bitter and mad as they are. Unfortunately, it's not gonna happen."-CS

Yes, unfortunately, we'll never hear Curt Schilling bitter and mad. Maybe someday...

I'd be lying if I said the Yankees' season hasn't severely deflated me. Of course we're disappointed. But it's skewed logic to connect a faltering New York baseball team and a weakened Patriots offense.

If New England loses every game, it doesn't help the Yankees. Bronx-haters may be well versed in actively delighting in another team's failure, but Yankee fans are still wrapping our heads around the threat of an empty October.

Brady's fall merely gave us a welcome respite from arrogant taunting. A temporary respite, I'm sure. But still. It was like finally plugging up a wailing infant with a pacifier.

Schilling isn't false when he reminds us that he was on the winning side of the 2001 World Series, although it is an odd choice of series to wax smug about. I'd have gone with the 2004 ALCS over the ultimately lifting experience of the 2001 Fall Classic. But hey, semantics.

To that end, though, the words of Bill Belichick may prove apposite here: "If you live in the past, you die in the present."

Which is not to be misinterpreted as a wish for Curt Schilling's death.

*   *   *

Maybe Schilling is sloppily trying to lobby support for his return to the Sox, now that he's on the tail end of his contract. Or maybe he's getting cabin fever on the DL. Who knows what inspires the Most Judgmental and Opinionated Athlete Ever to update his blog of complaints.

I don't expect him to lionize opposing fans any more than I'd expect either presidential candidate to concede to the other, "Hey, you know, you're right. I never thought about it that way."

But it would undoubtedly behoove Schilling to loosen the stranglehold he has on hypocrisy and to just accept the enjoyable (at best) and insidious (at worst) rivalry between our two cities for what it is.

There's a fable that tells the story of a scorpion asking a frog to carry him across the river. The frog is scared the scorpion will sting him, but the scorpion assures the frog that if it were to sting him, they'd both drown. The frog agrees by this logic, and sure enough, the scorpion stings him, mid-river. As they're both drowning and about to die, the frog asks why.

"I'm a scorpion. It's my nature."

I live in New York. I've been conditioned to get irrationally furious at slow walkers, to live in an overpriced shoebox of an apartment, and to get territorial when non-native transplanted Yankee-haters forget what city they're now calling home.

I've been conditioned to put the Evil Empire on a pedestal and get wildly defensive when they're constantly subject to contempt. And New Englanders should be able to empathize with this kind of fierce loyalty.

So, on Sunday afternoon, I wasn't celebrating the blow to Brady's knee...Just the blow to the outspoken hubris and arrogant drivel characterizing (much of) Boston's fanbase.

As a New York sports fan, it's my nature.

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