50 Greatest Hockey Quotes of All Time

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One of the most quotable coaches in NHL history Fred "The Fog" Shero

Hockey players are usually known as humble guys. They rarely deviate from the expected script in interviews, preferring to use the same tired cliches every time they speak to the press.

"I give 100 percent every game."

"It's about the team."

"Take it one game at a time."

When they offer something outside the norm, it is often cause for celebration.

With that in mind, here are 50 of the best quotes in hockey history.

Harold Snepsts

"Aww, don't worry Doc. If that happens, I can always come back as a forward!"

—Harold Snepsts after being advised by a doctor to wear a helmet to avoid brain damage.

Brendan Shanahan

"Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch Survivor or search the internet for porn."

—Brendan Shanahan.

Fred Shero

“We know that hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death. Life is just a place where we spend time between games.”

—Fred "The Fog" Shero, who was the head coach of the Philadelphia Flyers during their Broad Street Bullies days.

Brendan Shanahan

"You know, there's nothing better than making yourself dinner and watching Thursday night TV. Also, I just got a computer. And I'm fanatical about doing the laundry. There's nothing better than a stack of fresh, clean clothes. Except maybe a good movie. You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me."

—Brendan Shanahan

Jacques Demers

"Trade Steve Yzerman? That's like asking me if I want to trade my son Jason for the kid next door."

—Jacques Demers

Brett Hull

Dan Patrick: "Brett, do you catch flak for listing crossword puzzles as a hobby?"

Brett Hull: "What, Dan? Do I catch flak because I AM SO MUCH SMARTER than everybody else?"

Brendan Shanahan

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"I usually call the new guy and let him know where I like to sit on the bus, tell him ways he can stay out of my way, make sure he knows not to touch any of my stuff."

—Brendan Shanahan

Brett Hull

"The top three worst things I've seen in hockey? The invention of the trap. The invention of the morning skate. And the invention of the extremely ugly uniform."

—Brett Hull

Pete Cusimano

"Well, what I did was bring the octopus in a brown paper bag. I always let the people sitting around know what I was going to do. Most of them took the news quite calmly. Once, though, this woman beside me let out a scream. I had leaned over and said to her very quietly, 'Look, I think you should know. I'm the octopus-thrower.' She couldn't take it."

—Pete Cusimano

Duncan Keith

"My teeth weren't that good to begin with, so hopefully I can get some better ones."

—Duncan Keith

Harry Sinden

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

"The remedy, right now, is two scotches and an aspirin, I think."

—Boston Bruins general manager Harry Sinden after the Bruins were knocked out of the playoffs.

Robert Dirk

"All the records were gone. So I figured here's one record I can get."

—Robert Dirk after being called for the first instigator penalty in Anaheim Mighty Ducks history.

Martin Brodeur

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

"Why is a puck called a puck? Because dirty little bastard was taken."

—Martin Brodeur

Petr Klima

Rick Stewart/Getty Images

"I only have one goal in each stick."

—Petr Klima explaining why he broke his sticks after scoring

Gary Bettman

Harry How/Getty Images

"When you take off that sweater, your jersey, after today's game, you will be the last player in the NHL to ever wear 99. You have always been and you will always be 'The Great One,' and there will never be another."

—Gary Bettman on retiring Wayne Gretzky's number 99

Jacques Plante

"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"

—Jacques Plante

Patrick Roy

Richard Wolowicz/Getty Images

"I didn't hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears."

—Patrick Roy responding to Jeremy Roenick during the NHL playoffs.

Jim Schoenfeld

"Have another donut you fat pig!"

—New Jersey Devils head coach Jim Schoenfeld to referee Don Koharski during the 1988 NHL playoffs

Bob Froese

"I'm just glad it wasn't machete night."

—Bob Froese after Rangers fans threw mugs on the ice during mug night

Gordie Howe

Rick Stewart/Getty Images

"You can always get someone to do your thinking for you."

—Gordie Howe after being asked why players always wear a cup, but not always a helmet

Alex Ovechkin

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

"I'm okay. Russian machine never breaks."

—Alex Ovechkin after being struck with a puck

Harold Ballard

"She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?"

—Toronto Maple Leafs owner Harold Ballard on tearing down the huge picture of Queen Elizabeth that was once in Maple Leaf Gardens

Toe Blake

"If I knew the answer to that I'd bet $10,000 on the game and retire from coaching."

—Montreal Canadiens coach Toe Blake after being asked if his team would win an upcoming game

Jeremy Roenick

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

"Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person."

—Jeremy Roenick

Chris Pronger

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"I don't want to get into a 'he said, she said' with the refs...I'm the he."

—Chris Pronger

Bobby Hull

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

"I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I am a millionaire."

—Bobby Hull

Rod Brind'Amour

Paul Bereswill/Getty Images

"I was kind of hoping it would straighten it out."

—Rod Brind'Amour on his famously broken nose

Brian Burke

Matthew Manor/Getty Images

"I will personally challenge anyone who wants to get rid of fighting to a fight."

—Brian Burke

Mike Milbury

Getty Images/Getty Images

"When he's not injured or acting like a self-centred little dink, he's a very good player."

—Mike Milbury speaking about the Sabres' Tim Connolly during an NESN television broadcast

Bernie Parent

"Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, 'uh-oh.'"

—Bernie Parent

Don Cherry

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

“Here’s Wellwood, seven-and-oh in the faceoffs, plus-two, two assists, played 20 minutes, drew eight minutes on the power play, lost a tooth and a pint of blood. What a guy.”

—Don Cherry discussing the play of Kyle Wellwood.

Fred Shero

Bobby Clarke - Captain of Shero's "Bullies"

"Arrive at the net with the puck and in ill humor."

—Fred Shero, coach of the Philadelphia Flyers during their Broad Street Bullies days

Stu Grimson

Kellie Landis/Getty Images

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my (expletive) clothes."

—Stu Grimson, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker

Terry Crisp

Joe Patronite/Getty Images

"The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards."

—Tampa Bay Lightning coach Terry Crisp after a 10-0 loss

Conn Smythe

"He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game."

—Conn Smythe speaking about King Clancy

Dave Taylor

"When he put out his arms to celebrate, the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone."

—Dave Taylor after Marcel Dionne received death threats if he scored two goals in a game

Terry Crisp

"If our goalies were in a divorce case, they could sue for lack of support and be millionaires tomorrow."

—Terry Crisp after a 10-0 loss

Wayne Gretzky

Claus Andersen/Getty Images

"Sometimes people ask, 'Are hockey fights real?' I say, 'If they weren't, I'd get in more of them.'"

—Wayne Gretzky

Glenn Hall

"Playing goal is a winter of torture for me. I often look at the guys who can whistle before a game and shake my head. You'd think they didn't have a care in the world. Me? I'm just plain miserable before every game."

—Glenn Hall