I admit it, the only reason why I'm writing this article is because I haven't found anything interesting to write about today. That, and the fact that golf can be a great source of humor. I was thinking to myself, other than dying from heat stroke, what are some things that could go wrong while golfing. I came up with this list in no particular order.
You know you're having a bad day at the course when...
1. You hit the ball over a fence and hit someone's building or car.
You're on the first hole on the back nine and you've teed the ball up. The hole's 230 yards out with a nice home to the left behind a fence. You smack the ball as hard as you can and it shanks left, behind the fence. What do you do? Act like nothing happened or go confess?
2. The head comes off your golf club.
This has happened to me before. You take a nice swing, but maybe you put too much into it. Next thing you know, your club suddenly feels light. Then you see your head lying five yards away from you. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world. This gives you a new excuse to buy a new set of clubs.
3. You get struck by lightning.
You have to be a die-hard golfer if you're golfing in a thunderstorm. There really are people that do it though. Imagine that you are in the middle of the fairway and you're the tallest thing around. When your club is in the air, you just made yourself a lightning rod. Here's a tip, don't golf during any storm.
4. You hit a person.
There could be many reasons for an "accidental" golf injury. Either you hit yourself or someone hits you. Your buddy could be holding the pin for a you when you're chipping the ball onto the green. Unless you're a great golfer, there's a good chance you could hit someone. My suggestion, have your buddies wear a cup.
5. You hit yourself.
This has to be one of the stupidest things to do. It could happen though. Besides the occasional hit your ankle with a club, you could do a lot worse. What if you hit a ball and it hit a tree or embankment and ricochet back to hit you? That would hurt quite a bit.
6. You hit an animal.
I know you all try to hit something. I've tried. What's a better way to practice your aim then hitting something? You're not at the range though, so you can't hit the guy in the cart.
The next best thing could be an animal that wandered onto the course. I don't recommend this though. The animal rights activists could brand you an animal killer and you'd have to release a statement along the lines of "I love animals as shown by the fact that I have two dogs, a cat, and a seven-year old son."
7. You get stuck in the mud.
It just rained and there's mud all over the course. There's a good chance you could lose a shoe or more. Imagine stepping into a huge puddle and your stuck. Would your friends go on without you or would you have to sacrifice a shoe?
8. Your golf cart tips over.
WARNING: GOLF CARTS ARE MEANT TO GO FIVE MPH. PLEASE DO NOT TREAT THEM AS IF THEY ARE GO-CARTS! I love driving golf carts. Before I got my driver's license, that's all I was allowed to drive. This has happened before. People have too much to drink or have too much fun and manage to tip the cart over. You know the saying, "If you break it, you have to buy it."
9. Animals attack the course.
Courses at places like Florida, Asia, and around the world gets frequent visitors from the wild. I was golfing in Thailand once and a herd of monkeys attacked the hole I was on. They took all the balls and ran off. The worst thing that could happen is an animal taking your ball or attacking you. Not a pretty sight.
10. You decide to have a cookout on the course after you experienced all the other things.
After a day of tough golfing, you just wanna kill yourself. Don't take it that far, just quit. Get out the grill and watch others make a fool of themselves. I promise you, it'll bring you hours of laughter.
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