In a development that hearkens the Heaven's Gate cult, Isiah Thomas is fired and a cult commits mass suicide.
Charles Barkley begins to play dice games with the refs off the scorer's table during timeouts in NBA games.
The NHL schedules an outdoor game between the Panthers and Lightning in April.
Roger Federer, bored by tennis, wins Wimbledon using a ping-pong paddle.
Jose Reyes and Dame Judi Dench win Dancing with the Stars
Tyra Banks joins the Joe Buck-Tim McCarver booth team in the MLB playoffs. The results are stammering.
In a piece of performance art designed to emulate the current state of the Falcons franchise, Arthur Blank blows up the Georgia Dome during a game.
Derek Jeter finally gets a flattering haircut.
In an attempt to make soccer more marketable to Americans, the offsides rule is removed.
Bill Belichick reveals that his birth name is actually Lex Luthor.
Ricky Williams fails another drug test. When asked what happened he responds, "I'm Ricky Williams, didn't you expect this?"