Well, we know Jenn Sterger looks good, she makes sure of that with all her myriad photo placements in fantastic varieties of appealing attire that support to the very fullest her eye-popping attributes.
That's right, in America you can make a career of looking great without doing much else, although getting caught up in a dumb quarterback controversy doesn't hurt the old Q ratings one bit.
The New York Jets on the other hand, after starting the season in sometimes scintillating fashion have fallen off quite a bit over the second half of the schedule and aren't looking quite so strong heading into next weeks probable first-round match with the either the Indianapolis Colts or Kansas City Chiefs.
Their head coach, Buddy, errrr, excuse me, Rex Ryan was all the rage in the early season as well. He was supposed to have slimmed down as a result of gastric bypass surgery, though he still looks pretty enormous on T.V.—they say the camera can add 10 annoying pounds, so let's say he's really around 275 pounds instead of 285.
After his frequent expletive filled rants on HBO's Hard Knocks this past summer he was somehow cast in the role of anti-hero and it was theorized players from all over the league would go out of their way to sign on with the potty-mouthed Ryan and N.Y. Jets for years to come.
But a funny thing happened on the way to 10-5 and a berth in the playoffs essentially handed off to them by the Jags surprising loss to the Redskins last week.
People have started to wonder if Buddy, errrrr, excuse me once more, Rex Ryan can coach at all. If behind the bluster, is, well more bluster and suddenly a strong move in this years coming playoffs seems requisite for him and the Jet team as a whole unless their collective intent is to once again break the hearts of a fan base still clinging madly to the teams last really outstanding success in Super Bowl III.
(Okay, last year wasn't a total disaster, the one year with Parcell's and Testeverde as well, but we're dealing with a thought stream here, don't interrupt.)
So what will be the end result ... that is in terms of our question in point. Who will have the better of it in 2011, starting with this year's NFL playoffs.
Lovely Jenn Sterger or the frequently bedeviled New York Jets?
Let's proceed and see if we can come to a determination.
Sterger is very strong here. Notice the upright nature of the chest area. It's an eye-opener, dares you to walk over and pop the last button and whether or not the bosoms are God-given or a product of modern science is of no more importance than if a player is home-grown or a critical, and clearly gifted, free agent pickup.
This is probably the most consistent strength of the team.
From left to right they line up Pro Bowl-caliber LT D'Brickashaw Ferguson, LG Matt Slauson—who took over for Alan Faneca in what looks like a pretty good move now as the former Steeler All-Pro has announced his intention to play another year at most while young Slawson, after a bit of a slow start has come on very strong of late.
Center Nick Mangold, is one of the game's best, they're solid at RG with Brandon Moore, and RT Wayne Hunter has very capably filled in for Damien Woody (who was oft injured coming to N.Y. last year and really has been playing on borrowed time ever since).
They're tried and true in all kinds of game circumstances, do a pretty fair job of keeping the wildly inconsistent Mark Sanchez upright, and the only thing that keeps them from having a back on fire right now are Tomlinson's dead legs and Shonn Greene's occasionally sub standard feel for the pro running game.
Edge: Even (It's almost impossible to top Jenn's full, exceedingly upright bosom.)
This photo speaks for itself on both accounts.
Keller still leads the Jets with 55 catches for 687 yards and five TDs, but that doesn't seem like enough for a guy with his skill set and ability to break down defenses.
He and Jets QB Mark Sanchez got reacquainted against Chicago to the tune of seven catches for 79 yards, but in the loss to Miami and win vs. Pittsburgh he was rarely thrown to and caught a total of six balls for 53 yards.
With the defensive corners occupied, Keller is a near impossible cover for any safety and needs to be more frequently utilized. He doesn't drop passes, can run deep routes or earn yards after the short to mid range catch.
Granted the Jets trot weapons, Santonio Holmes, Jerricho Cotchery and Braylon Edwards out onto the field as well, but each of those three has the ability to "wow" you with big plays and then break your heart in the next breath with game-killing drops.
At least that's what we've seen the last four or five weeks which might explain Keller's return to the offensive mindset vs. Chicago.
Edge: Sterger and company. (There really have been way too many critical drops from Jets WRs in the past several weeks. The normally sure-handed Holmes and Cotchery have gotten in on the act as well and the Jets won't be able to survive it in any kind of a playoff run.)
Of course, shapely Jenn was never in charge with the Jets, but she did manage her job of pre-game rally girl with week to week efficiency.
Sanchez has thrown for 3,291 yards, completed 54 percent of his passes, has 17 touchdown tosses, 13 INTs and has fumbled nine times.
He can look brilliant at a given time, or even for stretches and then just shut down within games or for elongated stretches as well.
In essence, the Jets are in a situation where they never really know what to expect from their quarterback. That's not beyond the realm of plausibility since Sanchez only played a year at USC and is just now completing his second season in the league, but it's a tough way to win out during playoff time.
As a plus, he is extremely mobile, though his indecisiveness has led to more than a fair share of the 27 sacks allowed by the Jets offensive line.
Considering his stage of progression and the Jets' inconsistency in their downfield game, we'd look for more screen-type plays to Tomlinson and Keller to keep the ball moving forward. The team has essentially been forced to utilize Tomlinson in that role anyway as he's lost a lot of that early season explosion that was enabling him to quickly hit the hole and get out into the open field.
Edge: Even (In fairness Sterger had a much easier job with the Jets, Favre and his supposed penile advances notwithstanding.)
And just about everything else, too. Her friend's not bad either.
We asked Jen about Favre's purported decision to send cell phone pics of his member.
"It's just so stupid, I mean if you want to send a naughty picture at least send a butt shot. Women love a cute butt. I'm not saying Brett's got one of those either ... you know, I'm just saying, as a general rule."
Whose butt does she like the best?
"Mine of course, I think by far it's my most underrated asset."
In San Diego, they started to get the idea that LaDainian Tomlinson was simply past his prime, no longer capable of the explosive play he had exhibited for most of his illustrious career.
Jets fans were laughing early as L.T. seemed to have magically recaptured his youth spearheading the attack through the first five or six games, averaging five-plus yards per carry and exploding through opposition's defenses like the days of yore.
At that point, you kind of got the idea with Santonio Holmes coming back and the D playing well, this really could be the year for the Jets to get back to the big dance.
But father time doesn't mess around and for most of the rest of the season it's been three yards and a cloud of dust for the 5'9" masked man.
He and Shonn Greene have combined for 1,680 yards though at an overall 4.1 clip, not a bad number and versatile Brad Smith has added another 239 on 33 carries, a 7.2 clip.
(Don't you get the idea as often as Smith manages to get on the field he should actually get even more playing time? Especially when Sanchez is in one of his ruts. The guy is just that explosive with a football in his hands.)
As mentioned, Tomlinson is still a consistent threat out of the backfield, 52 catches for 368 yards and dumping the ball off to him with a degree of consistency makes sense, while the Jets hope Greene can get back to battering defenses like he did in last years stretch run.
Edge: Early in the season we might have said Jets, but right now it's Sterger.
An awesome threesome.
They lost injury-prone Pro Bowler, Kris Jenkins, before the season even caught it's early breath but gargantuan Samoan Sione Pouha, 59 tackles, has been a fantastic surprise and the Jet's most consistent player up front.
Mike Divito is solid against the run at right end and Sean Ellis still has an occasional moment, but he has only 4.5 sacks and as a whole, while the Jets are very solid against the run they get little if any pass pressure without engaging in any variety of all out blitz packages.
Edge: We'd really like to give one to the Jets at this point. Just to keep them in the match. But no, Sterger and friends are just too impressive.
No, it's Jennifer Walcott, football WAG and our version of a blitz package. Are you complaining?
Well, one thing that makes you think maybe not is ex-Raven, Bart Scott, hasn't been running his mouth off anywhere near as often as he did in Baltimore or last year with the Jets.
Since Week 9, the Jets have given up 187 points in eight games, about 23 per outing, take out a couple of 10-point holds against the anemic likes of Miami and Cincinnati, and the totals change to 167 points in six games—close enough to 30 per to preclude any notion of an impregnable defense.
Scott, David Harris, Calvin Pace, Bryan Thomas and Jason Taylor have not been great combining for 18.5 sacks. Scott in the overall has really fallen off with 79 tackles, still second on the team to Harris, but well below the tackling machine standards established during his peak time with the Ravens.
The Jets cannot progress through the playoffs without dramatically improved play from this unit beginning next week, probably in Kansas City against a team that will be primed to run the ball and keep the Jets off balance with play action.
Edge: Walcott. Maybe it's because I'm a red-blooded American male and a Giants fan, but Walcott against this bunch? That's a slam dunk for the other side.
She's right, that rear end is underrated!
Okay, so Jim Leonhard, (still third on the team in tackles at 61), went down with a knee several weeks ago. He was the apparent glue that held the secondary together, the play-caller, quarterback of the defense.
The Jets need to get over it already or their season will quickly short circuit after a single playoff outing.
The idea going in was rush the QB with the front seven and leave two of the league's most capable cover men, Antonio Cromartie and Darrelle Revis, as well as rookie nickel Kyle Wilson out on their respective islands to blanket opposition receivers.
Let's not leave safeties Eric Smith and Brodney Pool out of the equation. This quintet got lit up in New England and then again by the Bears, in between Pittsburgh moved the ball plenty through the air but couldn't finish when it counted.
The Jets D needs to play better as a whole but to be certain they're going nowhere without a very fast adjustment in their secondary.
Edge: Let's see, a combined 83 points allowed vs. the Pats and Bears and Sterger's behind? Let's see, I'm really thinking here ... oh yeah, it's Stergers behind by a landslide in 2011.
Jenn used to cheer for the Florida State Seminoles when they were still a pretty special team.
Brad Smith can do it all for the Jets including return kicks at a 28.6 clip, two for TDs.
Santonio Holmes can be dangerous returning punts if they decide to use him there in the playoffs.
Nick Folk has the leg, but he's driven the Jets nuts this year with late-game inconsistencies and nine misses.
Punter Steve Weatherford, one of the really good guys in the NFL, has been strong all year, has a 42.7 average and has dropped 38 kicks inside the opposition 20.
Devin Hester aside, the Jets kick coverage has generally been solid and special teams as a whole is a strength for the Jets.
Coach Mike Westhoff is one of the best in the game.
Edge: If not here, where then? Okay, this one goes to the Jets.
Well, at a glance it looks like Jenn Sterger by a longshot, but things have a way of changing quickly in the world of professional sports.
If somehow the Jets can pull it together and make a big money run, at least get to Foxborough, or even Dallas for Super Bowl XLV, we will have witnessed a case of total role-reversal.
That is, Jenn will still look good, but she's far from the only female that does and whatever version of celebrity she has now is bound to be short lived.
Winning a Super Bowl is the stuff of immortals, the memories last a very long time—just ask Joe Willie, Suzie Kolber disaster notwithstanding.
The Jets are at least in the game, it's on them to make the most of it.