College Football Week 2: 25 Thoughts

Michael BergmanCorrespondent ISeptember 9, 2008

1. What?!?!?!  The media can't vote USC any higher than No. 1? I want a recount!

2. How did UGA do that?  I'm at a cookout, I check the score and UGA isn't up by very much and I think to myself "what a wonderful world," no just kidding. I think "wow, they might drop a little more after this lackluster performance."  Then the next time I walk by, they have like 56 points!  Nice work. 

3. Knowshon pole vaulted a dude. Very very cool.

4. Matthew Stafford had a career high and it was under 300 yards?!?!?!  Ladies and gentlemen, meet the new Ryan Leaf.  Florida fans might have a hard time deciding when NOT to use the "OVER-RATED" chant during the game.

5. Okay, ECU is 4-REAL!  I thought WVU looked superb in Week 1, and they got dominated.  Bye bye to White's Heisman hopes.

6. OSU will get romped by USC, leading to more This-is-the-greatest-team-of-all-time talk from ESPN, even though it's three games into the season.  Seriously, what is it with these guys?  Sanchez has a good game against a horrible Virginia team and Mel Kiper moves him to No. 2 on his QBs list behind, Stafford, the other Hype Poster Boy.  I mean I like Sanchez, but calm the funk down.

7. The Ol' Ball Coach just can't sustain anything, can he?  It's sad, really.  His wife seems nice.  Jesse Palmer is a bag-o-greased-up-douche.

8. I think Vandy's logo is classy.  I like it.  However... 

9. I think there are too many gold teams.  Gold's just not a good color to me.  It's not easy to reproduce.  Sometimes it looks like someone spilled urine on your jersey.  Sometimes you look like a really big advocate of mustard.  Sometimes you look like you belong in the mouth or on the cup of a rap supah-star.  It's just kinda ugly to me.

10. The Big 12 was undefeated.  Although it was against crappy competition, that's impressive when even Baylor and Iowa State win.  Give it up!  Fear us, SEC!  I think the deciding factor will be when Alabama plays SE Mizzou State.  Mizzou beat them by 49, whoever kills them by more has automatically decided the conference debate once and for all. Agreed? Good!

11. Speaking of conference strength, could the Big East or ACC be any more embarrassing?  Seriously, do we have to watch you?  I haven't completely thought this through, but maybe each year BCS slots should be awarded to conferences based on the strength of that conference.  Right now this is the breakdown:

SEC: 3

Big 12: 3

Pac 10: 2

Big 10: 1

one up for grabs.

12. Another couple of outings like that, and I might develop some thoughts on you, Wisconsin.  Sending me a couple brats wouldn't hurt your chances either.

13. Oregon and Penn State are 4-Real.  Especially PSU.  Go Joe!  Please tell me there were t-shirts made in the 80's with a G.I. Joe/JoPa connection.

14. Is Nevada really a quality opponent?  I mean, I think we're just searching for reasons to believe Texas Tech is legit.  Gimme a break.

15. How did the NCAA have an opportunity (reaction to the celebration call) to look down upon the little guy (BYU) and not do it?  I guess I agree that the real person to blame here is the idiot who created the rule, not the guy who did what he was told to.

Seriously though, you can't make that call.  He technically broke the rule, but you can't punish them for that.  It wasn't excessive.  Gah, I hate rules!  I hate them so much I might just start ignoring all grammar rules... Me! tinks? rools) * iz dum$ 

16. For some reason I'm beginning to hate USF.  I wanna fight them. All. Individually.

17. I'm really tired of assuming that we're (Texas Longhorns if you don't know me) gonna lose to OU. You're not elite if you look at your schedule and have to devise a way to be the best while losing to one team.  I mean we own the all time series, but it's gotten really annoying the last eight years or so. 

I hate those motherless dogs.  We're good enough to beat them, we just find a way to lose unless we're heavily favored.  They make the Big 12 look bad.  I seriously have to contain myself whenever I see one of them.  There's this girl at the gym that keeps wearing a Sooner shirt and I want to make a comment about her hygiene or kick her in the nipple or something.  Gah, I hate them.

18. FSU. 69-0?  I don't care who you are, that's impressive.  I'm surprised Bobby let them stay at that number though.  I thought he was more of a missionary man.


20. Things do not look good for: Michigan, Syracuse (not news), Pitt, and Arkansas (YAY!!) among many others.

21. Matthew McConaughey (who's name is extremely hard to spell by memory.  seriously, try it sometime), is still a cool-arse Longhorn fan.  He does narration/voice overs for this Baby Longhorns DVD (which is a whole other story).  Check out this link here:

It's pretty hilarious.  This guy always sounds philosophically stoned without anything to say.  My favorite part is when he laughs and then says "laughter."

22. The Horns were disappointing in their UTEP performance, but I can't quite put my finger on what they did wrong.  Did anyone watch? Do you know?  I was happy that: A. we finally got some sacks, B. Colt looked pretty good and had decent numbers, and C. Fozzy got in the game and looks like he has some serious potential.  I was a little disturbed by: A. We didn't get more sacks, B. Our offense looked sluggish at times, and C. We weren't completely dominant against a HORRIBLE UTEP team.

23. Congrats again GTech.  I was really concerned about the PJ hire, but I guess he knows what he's doing.  P.S.: I know this isn't relevant anywhere else, but I live in Atlanta and I have lots of friends here who went to school there.  I apologize to fans of real teams.  Just Kidding Techies!

24. Persian food is good as hay-ell!  Although there isn't much variety.  Everything seems to be some kind variation of a kabob.  But hey, who am I to complain about roasted meat? 

25. Have there ever been a pair of human ears larger than Tommy Tuberville's?  I mean that guy must save a ton on airfare.  DumboAir shall be his new nickname.  The team better get its offense figured out completely before SEC play, or they're going down.


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