After two long months…
Finally the King of the Nerds has come BACK…
To Bleacher Report.
Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the history-making, journalism defining first issue of the King’s Decree. I’m sir Ben Gartland (The King of the Nerds) and The King’s Decree will be released every week and will give my opinion on the happenings in the wrestling world.
You will laugh, you will cry and you will be electrified through your computers or smart phones. So let’s hop aboard this ride of awesome and get started.
Monday Night Raw 2/14
It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone is excited. Tonight, the guest host of Wrestlemania 27 will be announced. Will it be the Rock making his overdue return, or will WWE let us down once again?
The guest host will be announced at the end of the show, so it must be someone big. We wait anxiously through the night as we see three matches we’ve already seen at least three times in the past three months.
Now finally it’s time for the guest host to be announced and it’s…What!?
Why is there a pair of women’s legs getting out of the car!?
Those certainly don’t belong to the Rock! If it’s not the Rock, who is it? Stephanie McMahon? Stupid commercials, this isn’t American Idol just tell us who the guest host is!
The lights go out and some drum plays; the crowd is cheering and the fans are sitting on the edge of their seats.
“If you smell!”
The biggest mark-out moment of the decade ensues as the most electrifying man in sports entertainment makes his way to the ring.
Then there’s the promo. Oh God what a promo it is. He calls out John Cena and we wonder, will we see the face of the Attitude Era take on the face of the PG era?
I guess we will have to see, on the road to Wrestlemania.
Now, in the excitement of the Rock’s return we forgot about some other important events in the show. Especially the new 2/21/11 promo, in which you can see the Undertaker’s chest and chin.
Or can we?
As another writer pointed out, the chin we see is not the Undertaker’s chin, which may mean it’s not the Undertaker at all.
It could be just a body double mistake, or could WWE be on to something? Also, there’s the possibility of two people in the promo. Whatever happens, we all know we’ll be tuning in to find out tonight.
WWE NXT 2/15
WWE NXT online breaks a new record with over 25 viewers! Congratulations NXT!
The 600th episode of Friday Night Smackdown
Like the 900th episode of Raw, this wasn’t anything to write home about.
We got the World Heavyweght Championship debacle figured out and Dolph Ziggler is fired! So now we have an opening in the Smackdown elimination chamber, which will be filled on Sunday.
WWE Elimination Chamber
The last pay-per-view stop on the road to Wrestlemania 27 is in Oakland. Surprisingly, there are no fans in full out Raider costumes.
The Kofi Kingston vs Alberto Del Rio match was great in my opinion, but Kofi looked a little slower than usual.
Maybe he has an injury?
They still managed to put on a great match to open the night.
The Smackdown elimination chamber was also good. Everyone and their grandmother could have predicted Edge winning, but it was a good match nonetheless. Del Rio attacked Edge after the match and then we have another return!
Captain Charisma, Christian returns to the delight of most of the IWC and helps Edge. A triple threat match at Wrestlemania seems eminent now. A fantastic match that will be.
Trish Stratus was announced as a trainer on Tough Enough, marking another huge return! (Refrains from making joke about stratusfying her)
What is the point of taking the belts off of Santino and Kozlov? This was my only disappointment of the night. WWE needs to start caring about the tag belts again.
Morrison was amazing in the Raw elimination chamber. In my opinion he should have won, but John Cena picked up the victory. This sets up another Wrestlemania match for the WWE championship: John Cena vs the Miz.
Miz retained after Michael Cole interfered. It looks like Lawler will finally get an opportunity at Cole at Wreslemania. Hope Cole’s training will pay off.
Overall it was not a bad pay-per-view, and it was a hell of a week in the WWE.
So what’s in store for this week?
Tonight we will get another return, most likely the Undertaker and some Wrestlemania matches will be set in stone. We are in the fast lane on the road to Wrestlemania, and a hell of a ride it’s going to be.
If you liked this, let me know and I’ll come out with a new issue next Monday. If you don’t, then well IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!