The Godaddy.com Bowl will feature a matchup between the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders and the Miami of Ohio RedHawks.
Well, that's all well and good. However, I don't know about you, but when I think of Godaddy.com, I think hot girls doing hot things. Naturally, this is a little unfair to the cheerleaders for the Blue Raiders and the RedHawks, as surely they too are hot girls capable of doing hot things.
So we got the idea that we would stage a competition of sorts, all in hopes of answering the simple question: between the Go Daddy girls and the cheerleaders, who's hotter?
The following slideshow should help settle the matter...
Before we get into the truly good stuff, let's talk mechanics.
As you well know, a big part of both cheerleading and overall hotness is fitness. You have to be in shape, or else the whole spectacle fails.
Case in point of a girl who knows this would be this lovely lady from Middle Tennessee.
As this young lass from Miami of Ohio can testify, another part of fitness is stretching.
And in some circles, stretches are also called "poses." If you were to ask me, she looks like she's an expert in both.
Right then. Now that we've seen what the cheerleaders know about fitness, the question is how they stack up against Go Daddy's fitness expert.
You might be familiar with Jillian Michaels from watching her kick ass on The Biggest Loser.
But when she's not on TV, and she's wearing Go Daddy gear, she's quite pleasant.
She is also quite pleasant when she's wearing even skimpier outfits.
Yeah, you don't need to lecture her about physical fitness. Or hotness. Or poses. She gets it.
Hey look! It's the girl from the title slide!
Yes it is, and I do not mind repeating this picture. Not one bit.
Besides, I need it to introduce the comparison of Miami (OH) blondes and one of the Go Daddy girls.
Same girl, minus the leaves. Still hot.
Right then, now we can let start the comparison process.
This picture of Go Daddy girl and LPGA star Anna Rawson really doesn't do her justice. And for that, I apologize.
But fear not. This photo is only meant as an introduction. You shall get to know here more in the following slides...
Now isn't that better?
Wait, you don't need to answer that question. I know what you're going to say anyway.
But wait, there's more.
Even if you've never played golf, you're undoubtedly pondering just how awesome golf is right now.
She's cute, isn't she?
Most brunettes are, in my humble opinion. But it gets better.
For the record, I don't know what it is with Miami girls and leaves. And for the record, I don't give a damn. It's hot.
But how does she compare to a Go Daddy brunette like, say, Danica Patrick?
Is it just me, or is Danica Patrick the sexiest thing to happen to racing since...
There is no back end to that question. That's how un-sexy racing was before she came along.
And make no mistake, sexy historical significance is pretty hot.
She looks like an angel. A sexy angel with racing gloves. Hawt.
If you're wondering why her eyes are following you, it's because you're sitting very still staring at her.
All glory to the hypno-Danica.
Well, Miami of Ohio seemed to have failed the brunette battle, so let's see if Middle Tennessee can do any better.
They're off to a good start so far.
It's actually a little hard to tell what color her hair is in that light. But she could be a brunette, and I needed a brunette cheerleader from Middle Tennessee, so she'll do.
Now that we know what the Blue Raiders can offer, we naturally have to compare them to what Go Daddy has to offer.
Ah yes, the original Go Daddy girl. I wonder why they chose her?
That's a joke, of course. Or at least, I could take two wild guesses as to why they chose her.
Be honest with me. How many of your fantasies came true in this picture?
Feel free to answer that questions in the comments. Or don't.
Are you thinking that sand and bare skin is underrated right about now?
What is the only thing better than one hot blonde from Miami of Ohio?
Why, two hot blondes from Miami of Ohio, of course. And indeed, they're looking good here.
But do they stack up against a Russian philologist? Let's find out.
That wasn't a joke about Marina Orlova being a Russian philologist. She actually is.
By the way, philology is the study of written languages, not what you thought it might be.
But in case you were wondering, Marina is also a bikini-ologist. There's your visual evidence.
As an English major, I can vouch for the fact that it's very rare that you see a sight like this.
In fact, I'd only heard rumors of sights like this until I came across this picture. I have my people checking to see whether its legit.
Until they get back to me, I'm just going to keep staring at it.
I'm going to have to go with the Go Daddy girls here.
We may as well be honest. This never was a fair fight. The Go Daddy girls are paid to be hot. That's why they're Go Daddy girls.
The cheerleaders for Middle Tennessee and Miami of Ohio are also hot, but they just happened to face some pretty some pretty stiff competition in this little game.
Regardless, I'll bet you feel like a winner right about now. I know I do. And for that, I suggest we raise a glass to both parties.