Soon-to-be-shitcanned Cam Cameron is looking forward to the inevitable.
"I think it will be a very positive termination," said the future ex-coach of the Miami Dolphins. "Everyone here is working hard to get me let go as efficiently and with as best an outcome as can be achieved.
"I'm gonna meet with Bill Parcells, he's going to say, 'You're fired,' and we'll move on from there," Cameron added. "Well, I won't, but you get the idea."
Coach Cameron has the support of his players.
"Him getting fired is going to be tough for everyone, but we'll pull through it as a team," said star defensive end Jason Taylor. "Not Cam, of course—he'll be gone. But we appreciate the work he'll have done to prepare us the best we can be prepared for him to get fired."
Cameron's efforts to reassure the Tuna have been unconvincing. First, he didn't know whether to call a timeout to teleconference Parcells, then he bungled an attempt to review the call, deleting it instead.
Next, Cameron thought maybe he could have Trent Green go to Parcells and speak on his behalf, but Green was ineffective, and hurt his tongue trying to speak. The coach could have asked Daunte Culpepper or Brady Quinn to recommend him, but he had already passed on both despite the fact that either would have been better than his final choice.
"I thought Cleo Lemon could give me a good word, but he was mediocre, so I tried to have John Beck praise me," Cameron said. "But he wasn't impressive so it came back to Cleo, and then he hurt himself crossing the carpet into Parcells' office, and missed the door by a pylon's length."
Coach Cameron will have defensive coordinator Dom Capers take his cardboard boxes full of failure to his car in the parking lot, so Capers will have experience getting fired in the event that Cameron isn't available for some reason.
Is the incipient pink slip deserved, Cam?
"I stand by my record," Cameron said. "I'm proud of that win!"