In a cruel twist of fate often reserved for literary masters the likes of William Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and whomever ghostwrites for Paris Hilton, Tom Brady may be out for the season. Irony personified, the future Hall of Fame quarterback that has been listed on the “possible” list for almost every game he has ever played in might actually belong on that list.

During an unfortunate play on Sunday versus the Kansas City Chiefs, Brady was hit in the first quarter by Chief’s safety Bernard Pollard. The cougar-fantasy Tom Brady was helped off the field with possibly torn cruciate ligaments in his knee and could be out for the season.

Allegations briefly arose about the hit being cheap, thanks to Randy Moss, however a response from the (team) press representative quelled most suspicion, “You know the guy is a quarterback right? He’s going to get hit.”

Patriots fans highly disagree with enthusiasm rarely seen outside of Chuck Norris supporters. One put it plainly, “Tom Brady doesn’t get tackled, he allows it because he is an awesome person with the dreamiest eyes ever.”

Initial reaction to the injury was a gasp of apprehension, paranoia, and fear that has not been seen since the Super Bowl shuffle circa 1985. Patriots fans both local and nationwide sat in horror as the quarterback demi-god and fashion model Spanish-fly showed not only vulnerability, but also his lack of caring for everyone who got the No. 1 pick in the fantasy football drafts.

Sporadic reports from around the Internet show server meltdowns and computer monitor destruction at the frenzy of trade attempts within seconds of the hit. Most reactions from fantasy football follow the same sentiment: rub some dirt on it and suck it up.

There are a few calls of shenanigans from fantasy football players that were duped into trading for Tom Brady post-injury.

One man whom requested to remain anonymous due to shear stupidity said, “I thought that it was going to be the best day. My buddy calls me up and asks if I want to trade for Brady. He said something about him only picking Brady number one so that he could use him later to trade.

“He said that he didn’t like the way that Brady seems to have low family values and lack of sexual morality. I should have known better, but I was watching a Sex in the City marathon with this girl I’ve been dating for a couple of weeks. To tell the truth, I never really watch football anyway, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to win against people that devote most of their lives to the game.”

Pat fans now wait with baited breath to find out if their captain will be able to return to the helm of their Super Bowl bound battleship who stand at 1-0 after the 17-10 win.

Fan support, or lack there of, aside, the Patriots have already swung into action, calling in experts to assess the situation.

Rumors have begun to swell around a supposed phone call made from the Patriots locker room to executives at Victoria’s Secret. The content of that phone call could not be acquired at time of publication, but rumor has it that some of the most beautiful and stupid models from around the world have been scrambled to the nearest private jet, regardless of whether they are currently binging or purging.

When asked what kind of effect the models might have on Brady a representative for the All-Pro quarterback replied, “It depends. We are hoping that most of the women are on the pill this time.” The representative would not elaborate.

Only time will tell if the recuperative powers of fake blonds with severe cases of body dysmorphism will be enough to bring Brady back to health, but because Brady is a team player, he is going to try all week if he has to, maybe even twice a night, because he is a machine.