Festivus is a Yuletide celebration, void of the traditional Christmas customs. The idea was originally conceived by Daniel O’Keef, then, made popular again by the television series Seinfeld.
True, Festivus may be weird, quirky and down-right bizarre, but when it comes to the sporting personalities who made headlines this year, it’s the perfect non-holiday.
So in keeping with Festivus’ non-customary rituals, let’s award some items-of-significance to our favorite sports-tacular personalities of 2010.
For the trash-talking Josh Koscheck, a year’s supply of the new sports drink, Humbleade. It may be hard to swallow, but goes down great with a plate of crow.
For New York Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman, after letting pitcher Cliff Lee slip through his managerial fingers, free agent Kenny Powers’ phone number.
Sure Kenny’s rude, loud and overbearing, that’s why he’s perfect for the Yankees.
For Ines Sainz, the one thing her thighs have been begging for all year, a pair of relaxed fit jeans.
For San Francisco relief pitcher Brian Wilson, a new uniform that truly embodies his “space cadet” persona.
For the Bose State Broncos, a visit by Fenton the Festivus Ghost. Much like his X-mas counterpart, the Ghost of Christmas Past, Fenton will take the team back to November 26 to replay their game against Nevada.
For George St. Pierre, a much deserved hand massage. Not only will this be relaxing, but it will also help him remove all unwanted pieces of Josh Koscheck’s orbital bone from his left fist.