Pedro Martinez Makes Me Feel Old

It's finally happened. I never really thought it would happen, but it has, much like gainful employment. I am, of course, talking about Sports-Induced Old-man Talking Syndrome.

This is a terrible disease that afflicts thousands of people every year, and can happen at almost any age past 20. Common symptoms include watching ESPN Classic every Saturday afternoon and using phrases like: "When I was young..." and "Remember when..."

If you had asked me back when I was a young wippersnapper if I thought I would be a victim of this disorder at such a young age (24), I would have scoffed loudly in your face. Or screamed and ran away, since you're a stranger. Either way, the important point is I would never have believed how close I was to SIOMTS (pronounced "Siomts") at the time.

When I was a teenager, I enjoyed the moment. I soaked up everything I was watching without dwelling on any prior loves. I went from wanting to be Bret Saberhagen to wanting to be Roger Clemens to wanting to be Pedro Martinez effortlessly. Each new role model took the place of the former without a second thought.

Pedro was different, however.

I first heard of him in 1993 when he was playing for the Dodgers, and really became enthralled with him in 1997 when he was with the Expos. I liked him mostly because he was small and yet very good. You see, in 1997 I was 14 years old and under five feet tall with about the same body mass as a standard low-fat saltine cracker. And I desperately wanted to be a good pitcher.

Roger Clemens was my first hero, but he was nothing like me. He was tall and thick and covered in hair, and it was clear that he had been that way since birth. Pedro, on the other hand, was exactly like me, except for the extra talent, bilingual ability, and the fact that he wasn't white or unable to legally drive.

He was, however, a really short, skinny guy who intimidated everyone he faced and won more often than a cheating Monopoly banker.

Then, something miraculous happened: In 1998, Pedro was traded to my hometown team, the Boston Red Sox.

To put this in perspective for you youngsters (there it is again!), in the late '90s it was almost impossible to watch games outside of your area. There was no MLB.TV or giant cable sports packages or anything like that. The only way you could follow a player outside of your viewing zone was through the newspaper or SportsCenter.

Thus, Pedro coming to the Sox meant that I could finally watch him everyday. Well, every fifth day, anyway.

That first year was pretty awesome, but the seeds for SIOMTS were not really sowed until 1999. That year Pedro really laid the groundwork for his future HOF campaign. He won 15 games before the All-Star break, and then struck out five of the best ballplayers ever in the All-Star game, including Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and...other guys (I don't remember who else, but they were definitely good, I'm sure of it!).

Then he continued to be awesome, winning 23 and striking out over 300 to end the season. In the playoffs, Pedro then turned in one of the greatest playoff pitching appearances ever in Game Five of the ALDS.

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