Is there anything lousier than the last weekend of the NFL season?

Just about everything’s been wrapped up...and unfortunately even the games involving Wild Card teams trying to get in with a win (Dallas v. Washington and Tennessee v. Indy) involve division winners (Dallas and Indy) that will likely sit key players, as they have nothing to play for.

The result, of course, is that the Skins and Titans will likely have an easy time getting in—which no doubt infuriates football purists and the other teams chasing the final spots.

Not that the rest of the season's picks have been anything to write home about—but this could be the worst week of the year. None of these games will be worth much of a damn...except for the outrageous, drug-iduced, preseason-type spreads.
 
Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Bobby Petrino, Bud Selig, Roger Clemens, Tony Romo, Jessica Simpson,  Roger Goodell, and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.


This will be a nightmare weekend for everyone. If I even sniff .500, I'll call it a success.

Last week against the spread: 9-7  

2007 record against the spread: 107-123-10



Saturday, December 29th
 
New England at N.Y. Giants (+14 1⁄2)

What a game this might have been. Unfortunately, New England’s perfect season will come cheaply against a Giants team that will be resting most of its players.

Why else do you think Giants fans are selling off their tickets?

This does bring up an interesting debate: Do the Giants owe it to themselves to rest their players...or should they fight to prevent 16-0? 

Pick: Giants

 

Sunday, December 30th
 
Cincinnati at Miami (+3)

Yawn. Could this be the end of Marvin Lewis and Chad Johnson in Cincinnati?

Pick: Cincinnati
 

Jacksonville (+6 1⁄2) at Houston

I can’t wait to see Jacksonville in the playoffs. The Jags are playing ridiculously good football right now.

Pick: Jacksonville
 

Detroit (+3 1⁄2) at Green Bay

Dear Brett Favre,

Thank you for playing like crap when you needed to win.

With the way the Packers play in cold weather, maybe they DON’T want to play in Lambeau on January 20th. Then again, Brett is 0-9 at Texas Stadium.

There I go, thinking ahead. Dammit.

Pick: Green Bay
 

San Francisco (+10) at Cleveland

Poor Cleveland. They had their shot and they blew it.

Pick: Cleveland
 

New Orleans at Chicago (+2)

Dear Kyle Orton,

Thank you for that win against the Packers last weekend. Even with your "Duh" face, you managed to do a wonderful deed for the Cowboys.

Pick: Chicago
 

Buffalo (+7 1⁄2) at Philadelphia

See my S.F./Cleveland blurb and insert Buffalo for Cleveland.

Is this the last time Donovan McNabb throws for the Eagles? 

Pick: Buffalo
 

Seattle (+3) at Atlanta

How the hell did Seattle lose to the Panthers two weeks ago?

Pick: Seattle
 

Carolina at Tampa Bay (+3)

For some reason, I want no part of Tampa Bay in the playoffs. Jeff Garcia has eaten the Cowboys alive in the past, and that defense is stout.

Pick: Tampa Bay
 

Pittsburgh at Baltimore (+3 1⁄2)

This could be the last time we see this Ravens team as it is. Probably a good thing. 

Pick: Baltimore
 

Kansas City (+6) at N.Y. Jets

Watch Chad Pennington and Damon Huard in their last games for their respective teams.

Get me a drink...NOW!

Pick: Kansas City
 

San Diego at Oakland (+8)

What do you know—Lane Kiffin decides to take off the training wheels and start JaMarcus Russell.

Pick: Oakland
 

Minnesota at Denver (+3)

Minnesota had their chance but couldn’t beat the Pigs. Now they need help from the Cowboys...but it’s doubtful they’re going to get it.

Pick: Minnesota
 

St. Louis (+6) at Arizona

Good God. Make it a White Russian.

Pick: Arizona
 

Dallas (+9) at Washington

This is a tough one.

Part of me agrees that Wade Phillips should rest his players and not take a chance with a fluky injury. But something about the Pigs' getting into the playoffs with a win over Dallas makes me sicker than drinking booze off a bar mat.

The stakes for Washington make me wish that the Cowboys would play this game to win.

Phillips says the Cowboys will bring everything they have, and I like that mentality. Nothing's better than beating the Pigs—even if you have nothing to gain.

But Vegas obviously thinks that isn’t happening, so who the hell am I to question them?

Pick: Dallas
 

Tennessee at Indianapolis (+ 6 1⁄2)

Again, it’s tough for teams fighting for the last AFC playoff spot to watch Tennessee win by default, as the Colts will be sitting their starters.

I understand teams have the right to sit starters, but when the other team needs a win, you'd think that they should at least have to earn it.

But who am I to question anything or anybody? Got to hand it to the Amazing Vince. The Titans were dead in the water three weeks ago. With a win here, they’re in the playoffs.

Pick: Tennessee