Earlier today Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany unveiled the new conference logo and announced that the league's two football divisions were to be named "Dungeons" and "Dragons."
"We didn't want to name the divisions something like 'East-West' or 'North-South' since our conference splits are not based on geography alone," said a spokesman from the Big Ten, a conference which now consists of 12 teams.
The spokesman later added, "We all know that football is the sport that reigns supreme on using warfare metaphors. Since people generally find the brutality of actual warfare to be dehumanizing we thought we could instead capture this spirit by turning to the world of fantasy. Initially we wanted to name the divisions 'Mordor' and 'Rohan' but getting the rights to use names from The Lord of the Rings has become increasingly expensive since the Peter Jackson movies. Eventually we settled on D&D due to its affordability."
The Dungeons division will feature Illinois, Indiana, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue and Wisconsin, while the Dragons division will include Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska and Northwestern.
Apart from playing other division teams, every year each team will battle three teams from the other division in what should turn out to be a marvelous role-playing adventure extravaganza.
The winner of each division will then play in the annual "Dungeons & Dragons MegaQuest Championship Game" to determine the Big Ten champion.