Every NBA fan would love to be the GM of his favorite team for a day, if only to make that one blockbuster trade to put the boys over the top.
Celtics fans no doubt loved watching their squad add Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen over the offseason.
Bulls fans ended up loving the trade that acquired Scottie Pippen from the Sonics on draft night '87 for Olden Polynice and a second-round pick.
Lakers fans must have loved watching potential superstar Caron Butler go to Washington for potential superstar...Kwame Brown?
Okay, maybe not that last one.
In any event, now is my time to shine—I'm ready to be the Trading God of the National Basketball Association.
I've made two four-team deals on ESPN's NBA Trade Machine that should make eight teams want to pull the trigger immediately. Without further ado...
Trade No. 1
Los Angeles Clippers receive: Michael Redd, Herbert Hill
Chicago Bulls receive: Chris Kaman, Louis Amundson
Milwaukee Bucks receive: Andre Iguodala, Chris Duhon, Samuel Dalembert
Philadelphia 76ers receive: Andres Nocioni, Corey Maggette, Aaron Williams
I know what you're thinking—this trade is absolutely obtuse. But let's look a little bit deeper.
Although Kaman has been a consistent double-double man for the Clippers, Michael Redd is a proven scorer who can be the leader of a team.
Team Redd with up-and-coming point guard Shaun Livingston and a healthy Elton Brand (ha), and you may have the recipe for some victories for the "other" L.A. team.
The Bulls bring in Kaman, whose numbers (18.6 PPG, 14.0 RPG) have been astounding. If Kirk Hinrich returns to form, this team (which would still have Luol Deng because I resisted the overwhelming urge to deal him instead of Duhon) could have a bright future ahead.
Even though this season was supposed to be the future.
The Bucks receive Iguodala, who's becoming an electrifying scorer; Duhon, who may need a change of scenery to realize his full potential; and Dalembert, a more experienced center to help guide young Andrew Bogut and Yi Jianlian.
It worked with David Robinson and Tim Duncan—why not here?
The 76ers bring in Nocioni, who can be a consistent second scorer; and Maggette, who would be the man in the spotlight with the 20 PPG he's put up thus far.
I'm not sure if Hill, Amundson, or Williams are actually in the NBA, or if they exist at all, but their salaries are perfect to the last penny.
Okay, enough about the first trade. If you still have enough respect for me to look at No. 2—well, quite frankly, I'm dumbfounded
But the show must go on!
I feel bad about the Kwame trade joke earlier in the article, so here you go Lakers fans—a trade that you may not regret...
Trade No. 2
Washington Wizards receive: Pau Gasol
Los Angeles Lakers receive: LaMarcus Aldrige, Casey Jacobsen
Portland Trail Blazers receive: Brendan Haywood, Hakim Warrick, Antonio Daniels, Sasha Vujacic
Memphis Grizzlies receive: Martell Webster, DeShawn Stevenson, Ronny Turiaf, Joel Pryzbilla, Javaris Crittenton
I know what you're thinking—this trade is absolutely asinine. But hear me out...
The Wizards nab the scoring big man that they so desperately need. Team Gasol with Caron Butler, Antawn Jamison, and a healthy Gilbert Arenas, and the Wizards are a big-time threat.
The Lakers receive the athletically-gifted Aldrige, who can get a consistent 17 and 8. He and Kobe and Bynum make a pretty nice trio.
I threw Jacobsen in there 'cause I think he's funny.
The Blazers get Warrick, who's athletically gifted; Haywood, a strong 10 and 8 guy; Daniels, who can take over games with his ability to drive to the basket; and Vujacic, who's averaging 6.6 PPG this season.
The Grizzlies get Stevenson who, like Daniels, can score on any given night. They also bring in Martell Webster, who's averaging double-digit points per game this season.
Ronny Turiaf can be an impact player on some nights when he's healthy, as can Pryzbilla. Crittenton has shown flashes of talent and could come in for the Grizzlies if they need him.
Look—these trades will never happen. But isn't it fun to dream?
The NBA Trade Machine is an ingenious tool for fans who want to feel important. It certainly works for me.
One last note: If these trades don't happen, I suppose the Lakers are still just going to be the team that traded Butler for Brown.