Eva Longoria: Is She More or Less Hot Since the Tony Parker Breakup?

Elliott PohnlFeatured ColumnistDecember 6, 2010

Eva Longoria: Is She More or Less Hot Since the Tony Parker Breakup?

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    Eva Longoria is still picking up the pieces after her marriage with Tony Parker fell apart.

    Although the ex-couple met in Los Angeles last week, there is nothing to indicate they will attempt to patch things up.

    Now that she is officially back on the market, Eva will need to spend hours making sure she still looks good.

    That means applying layer upon layer of makeup and doing some more of those steamy photo shoots.

    Don't worry Eva, we'll always be here to catch you when you fall.

    According to friends in the tabloids, Eva has been extremely upset since the breakup.

    Now, she finds herself at a crossroads in life.

    Will Eva Longoria fall apart and become an old spinster or try to look hotter than ever?

    Let's see for ourselves.

5 Worse: She Needs to Blow Off Some Steam

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    You ever ask someone who just went through a breakup if they want to talk about it?

    Big mistake.

    Unless you are prepared to spend your time playing the role of a therapist, it's better to hope they don't want to talk about it.

    You can imagine Eva probably has some interesting things to say about Tony...

5 Better: She Is Ready to Go Crazy

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    We've all been there.

    After the initial period of mourning following a messy breakup, the natural response is to look to forget about it.

    That means doing whatever it takes to have fun.

    In other words, going crazy.

    It would be nice to see Eva let her hair down...

4 Worse: She Won't Be Able to Forget About the Past

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    What is wrong with this picture, you ask?

    Well, if she would move her hair for a second, you could see a tiny tattoo on her neck: "NINE"

    That's right, it's Tony Parker's number.

    Even if she gets the touching symbol of devotion removed, she will never forget about what she had with her ex.

4 Better: She Has the Resolve to Move On

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    Since breaking up with Tony, Eva has agreed to get involved in even more television projects to keep herself busy.

    Let's face it, she probably isn't too worried about being able to get back on her feet again.

3 Worse: She Still Loves Watching Her Ex-Husband Play

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    It might be time for Eva, a Texas native and life-long Spurs fan, to pick a different favorite NBA team.

    After San Antonio inked Parker to a long-term extension earlier this fall, it seems he might end up finishing his career in Texas.

    Either Eva jumps on that sexy yellow bike and heads to Houston or Dallas to watch NBA hoops, or she doesn't watch a single Spurs game for about five more years.

    Talk about a difficult decision.

3 Better: The Sex-Appeal of a Single Woman

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    Society loves hot celebrities who are out there on the open market.

    Now that Eva is single, men everywhere can dream about trying to meet her without looking too creepy.

    Good luck with that.

    Celebrity gossip columnists everywhere can make up fantastic rumors about her love-life.

    Could she be romantically linked to Charlie Sheen in the future?


    In the famous words of Kevin Garnett, "Anything is possible!"

2 Worse: Is She Really Over Tony?

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    Based on the myriad of somewhat credible reports, it seemed Tony may have had a little something on the side.

    He wouldn't be the first celebrity who had more than just a wandering eye.

    Nobody knows how far Eva went to keep the marriage intact, but she is probably still wishing they could have found a way to work things out.

    For the moment, she might be content to lay on this brown shag carpet all day thinking about she did wrong.

    Too bad she couldn't teach the Frenchman had some manners...

2 Better: The Sex-Appeal of a Sexy Single Woman

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    As you get older, you realize that most of the sexy women on the market are taken.

    Most, but not all.

    Think of Eva as that really hot chick at your high school reunion who still isn't married.

    Or at least, that's what she is telling everybody...

1 Worse: Those Tatoos Will Be a Problem

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    Eva has more than one tattoo honoring the ninth-best point guard in the NBA.

    In fact, she has three tats showing her devotion to her ex-husband.

    Including one that can't be shown, even during her revealing photo shoots.

    For the moment, she was content to have them airbrushed out for this shoot with DirecTV's Access magazine.

    Go ahead, enlarge the photo and try to find a tattoo.

    It can't be done.

    Too bad those dorky engineers haven't developed a way for Adobe Photoshop to be applied without using a computer.

1 Better: She Is Her Own Woman Again

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    There's something so sexy about an independent woman.

    Intimidating, yes, but also sexy.

    Eva doesn't need Tony to be happier or stay in the spotlight.

    She already has made her impact felt in Hollywood, and no rising young actress can take that from her.

    There is no George Hill standing in her way.

    Eva will always occupy a special place in our hearts, and never stop providing material for our vivid imaginations.

    For that, we are thankful.

Conclusion: Is Eva Longoria Hotter After the Breakup?

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    Is this really a serious question, or merely an excuse to entertain you with some nice pics of Eva?

    No, this is a completely serious issue that must be addressed.

    It might look bad for Eva right now, but she has never looked better.

    Apparently, she was tired of Tony's trangressions and willing to put herself back on the market.

    In the meantime, she hasn't stopped her career or checked into Dr. Drew's clinic.

    She has kept right on living her life.

    That's sexy.

    It's surprising it took 10 pics for us to figure that out.