USC Vs. UCLA: Cheerleader Showdown of the Week

Ryan RudnanskySenior Writer IDecember 1, 2010

USC Vs. UCLA: Cheerleader Showdown of the Week

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    I knew this one was going to be a good one before even looking at pictures.

    Coming from San Diego State, I know what girls are like down in Southern California.

    Very hot, and usually wanting nothing to do with me.

    Despite some failed attempts at getting some girls at this level, they are still imprinted on my soul, and these pictures bring me back to the days of palm trees and sunny skies.

    As for football, USC has not been as good as many expected coming into the season, ranked in the Top 25 before they lost five games.

    UCLA, however, at 4-7, hasn't fared much better. In fact, they've fared worse.

    So the only thing left for college football fans to do on Saturday at UCLA is look at some cheerleaders.

    Hey, it could be worse.

USC Trojans: The Football Team

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    Overall Record: 7-5

    Pac-10 Record: 4-4

    Average Points Scored: 31.3

    Average Points Allowed: 27.8

    Note: USC is 30th in the nation in rushing yards per game.

UCLA Bruins: The Football Team

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    Overall record: 4-7

    Pac-10 Record: 2-6

    Average Points Scored: 20.7

    Average Points Against: 30.5

    Note: UCLA is 33rd in the nation in rushing yards per game

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    I can't tell what I like best: cute girls or hot girls.

    Fortunately for me, Chantel of the UCLA Bruins is both.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    Chantel supposedly came from San Diego (the city of my alma mater) and her favorite movie is Zoolander (check plus).

    We are a match made in Heaven.

    Side note: She has long legs.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    Chantel's eyes seem to sparkle in this one.

    Either her eyes sparkle naturally or some lights are shining into them.

    I'm betting that her eyes sparkle naturally.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    Yep, it's official.

    Her eyes sparkle naturally.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    She always seems happy.

    Must be thinking about Zoolander.

    I like that curl on top of her head. It's cute.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    Oh Jeebus (that means Jesus, I just can't talk right now).

    It looks like a ray of sunlight is surrounding her.

    Wouldn't be surprised.

UCLA Bruins: Meet Chantel

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    So long Chantel, so long. We shall meet again.

    I hope.

    You know, Chantel, you look prettier than that sunset at the sky at the moment.

    Chantel, can you hear me? Hello?

    Oh, she's distracted right now. She's all the way up there...and I'm all the way down here...

USC Trojans: Our Team Might Disappoint But We Don't

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    Cheerleaders always seem to have a way of making your season a little sunnier, don't they?

    I like to think they are all laughing at a joke I just made in this picture.

USC Trojans: HOTY's

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    "H-O-T-Y, We can't spell but no one cares, Ya, we're hotties, ya, ya, we're hotties!"

    That's a USC rendition of the U-G-L-Y chant, if you were wondering.

    Shake yo pom poms girls.

USC Trojans: Meet Blond Girl

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    I don't know this one's name so I'll just call her Blond Girl.

    Hey Blond Girl, you're cute.

USC Trojans: Meet Blond Girl

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    It doesn't look very warm in Southern California when this picture was taken.

    She must be cold in that tank top.

    Nobody seems to be offering her a coat, though.

    Hmmm...strange.

UCLA Bruins: The Rest Of the Rest

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    Why hello there.

    You like fishing too by the dock?

    Oh, you're just posing over there.

    OK, go ahead and pose, I'll...just...fish...over the side here.

USC Trojans: The USC Shuffle

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    Kinda like the "Truffle Shuffle" from the movie The Goonies, the "USC Shuffle" is respected and admired throughout the college football land.

    OK, I just made that up.

USC Trojans: Stunning

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    I find the one in the middle pretty stunning myself.

    I can't figure out why they keep making that sign, but I'm guessing it means "Peace"..."You now have permission to date me Ryan."

    Oh wait, that can't be right.

USC Trojans: Why Hello There

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    There's something about his girl I like a lot.

    Maybe it's the fact that she's shimmering.

    I like to think the gold lights behind her in this picture are actually fireflies that follow her wherever she goes.

    Like in an enchanting fable.

UCLA Bruins: The Rest Of the Rest

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    Nice team photo here.

    So much more nice to look at then my old Tee Ball photos.

USC Trojans: Tahoe Trip

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    Apparently the USC Song Girls went on a trip to Lake Tahoe during the summer.

    Whoever took these pictures, I salute you noble sir.

USC Trojans: Tahoe Trip

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    Why can't attractive cheerleaders swim around at the beach when I visit Lake Tahoe?

    It just ain't fair.

UCLA Bruins: The Rest of The Rest

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    I...can't...concentrate...on...the...words...of...the...cheer.

    Boy, this cheerleader sure isn't a very good teacher of cheers.

    She just distracts me all the time.

USC Trojans: Tahoe Trip

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    I'll frolic in the lake with you guys!

    C'mon, it will be fun!

USC Trojans: Tahoe Trip

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    There are too many good vibes in this picture.

    You have a beautiful lady dancing, you the have the sun, you even have the band in the background.

    This picture can't be real.

UCLA Bruins: Another Beaut

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    Don't know who this is, but she certainly captures my imagination...and my heart.

USC Trojans: Tahoe Trip

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    Yep, these pictures are officially fake.

    This looks like way too good a time to be real.

Conclusion

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    Both squads have some exceptional talent.

    God, this is a tough one...who wins?

    But I'll have to give the close victory to USC, based on the fun they seem to have.