College football has begun—well, for most teams. There are those that didn’t show up over the weekend. Don’t worry though, they get awards too—specifically, they're named to the All-Chump Team for Week One.
Here they are: Read ‘em and weep!
College Football: The Week One All-Chump Team
QUARTERBACK
Starter
Tommy Beecher, South Carolina
12 for 22, 106 yards, four INT
While Beecher stunk up the joint, Smelley was a breath of fresh air.
Backup
Sean Glennon, Virginia Tech
14 for 23, 139 yards, two INT
It’s time for the Hokies to remove Tyrod Taylor’s redshirt and replace it with...well, a red shirt—maroon red, that is.
RUNNING BACK
Starters
James Davis and C.J. Spiller, Clemson Tigers
Combined for eight carries and 20 yards rushing against Alabama
Clemson’s dynamic duo only running for the big two-oh? That simply won’t get it done.
Backup
LeSean McCoy, Pittsburgh
23 carries for 71 yards
One would expect more production from a Heisman dark horse against a Bowling Green team that allowed 208 rushing yards per game in 2007. Correction—former Heisman dark horse.
WIDE RECEIVER
Starter
Brian Robiskie, Ohio State
Three catches for 41 yards versus a lackluster Youngstown State team
Sure, the Buckeyes blanked the Penguins in Week One, but going forward, Ohio State is going to need more from Robiskie and the offense if they want to win the Big Ten.
Backup
Demetrius Byrd, LSU
Three catches for 34 yards against Appalachian State
He didn’t really need a big game in this one, but as one of the better receivers in the country, you would expect flashier numbers from Byrd, who needs to step up with guys like Early Doucet gone to the NFL.
TRENCHES: O-LINE & D-LINE
Starter
North Carolina D-Line
No sacks vs. McNeese State
Someone in powder blue has to be picked on—especially after the supposedly much-improved Heels struggled to defeat McNeese State.
Backup
South Carolina O-Line
Allowed five sacks to North Carolina State during their 34-0 victory.
Even shutouts can be deceiving. The Wolfpack may have been blanked on the board, but they exposed holes on the Gamecocks by getting five sacks, along with four picks of Beecher.
RUSH DEFENSE
Starter
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3 months ago
Bea Arthur and Ray Finkle mentioned in the same article? Hilarious! And Smelly being a fresh of breath air was gold. This is seriously funny. LMAO! You got my pick!
from 3 months ago
Thanks Lisa. Yeah you're right, there should be some kind of award for bringing in Bea Arthur and Ray Finkle to the same piece. I'm not sure what the heck that would be, and I'm sure it wouldn't be anything I would want to put on my mantle, but nevertheless... =)
3 months ago
excellent piece
nice ray finkle reference too
from 3 months ago
Thanks TSZ. Stop by any time...
3 months ago
Donnie Carona- K- Texas Tech
4-5 XP, 0-2 FG.
Throw him on there, got blocked twice.
from 3 months ago
Hey Colin,
Yes, absolutely... Carona may need to hold the lime before game time next week. OK, maybe I went too far with that one. It happens.
from 3 months ago
Haha, it was a nice try, don't worry.
Better to try and fail, then never try, right?
from 3 months ago
Ha ha, thanks. Yes, A for effort. I'm with you. I do have Coronas in my fridge though, and now I'm craving one. The beer, not the kicker. There I did it again. Bad line, but the effort was there.
from 3 months ago
Haha, I was just about to mention Carona, but you beat me to it. What makes that even worse is that he followed a kicker who make over 230 consecutive extra points. No one knew what to do when he missed that first one.
3 months ago
Great Article! I always love a Jim Carrey movie reference haha.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Justin. I'll see if I can bring him in more often going forward. It makes it more entertaining for me to write anyway. =)
3 months ago
Kevin,
Beecher, Davis and Spiller had no line blocking for them. Smelly came in and did quite well. But by then, NC State had given up and anyone quarterback wouldl have done well. I suggest we take those guys off the chump team.
How many times did Ohio State pass? I am not sure Robiskie had the chance to catch that many. To be honest I do not know. We might could remove him as well.
Good article............ I will be watching for your team next week.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Jay.
You have some fair arguments in here. I'll be honest when I say the WR list for this week was tough to come up with. OSU did actually throw 25 times between Pryor and Boeckman, and three of those were to Robiskie. They did spread it around though. My point is just that Robiskie needs to step it up in the big games when they arrive... and maybe he will.
Clemson's line got a mention on here too actually... all in all, they just got waxed by 'Bama.
3 months ago
SIR: The combination of QB Tommy Beecher with arch rival Tommy Bowden of Clemson coaching is more ineptness than the poor world can stand!
from 3 months ago
BabyTate,
Beecher may change his name like Ocho Cinco... go from Beecher to Bencher. Wait, did you call me "Sir", or is that something else? Ha ha. Later...
3 months ago
Good article.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Justin, glad you enjoyed it...
3 months ago
Kevin,
Beecher, Davis and Spiller had no line blocking for them. Smelly came in and did quite well. But by then, NC State had given up and anyone quarterback wouldl have done well. I suggest we take those guys off the chump team.
How many times did Ohio State pass? I am not sure Robiskie had the chance to catch that many. To be honest I do not know. We might could remove him as well.
Good article............ I will be watching for your team next week.
3 months ago
Ha! Good stuff Kevin...I am your fan now because of this one.
Just a thought about Brian Robiskie and the other OSU WRs, yeah they may be great WRs against Purdue and Northwestern, but I can't wait to see them against that USC defense. If Wells is out the Trojans will just bring the heat and I don't think those Buckeye WRs will be able to get open in time.
from 3 months ago
Michael,
Thanks, it's always nice to have a fan.
Agreed that if Beanie is out against USC, they are going to have a tough time winning that game. They need him to be 100% and to be honest, I don't think he's going to be in two weeks.
3 months ago
Good article. Nice pic of Coach TB! He looks like he's contemplating where he will seek his next employment.
from 3 months ago
Gray Ghost,
Ha ha! You said it, not me!
3 months ago
Sean Glennon played very poorly; however there is still hope. Glennon did make the watch list for the O'Brien so there is some potential. I think rushing in the Redshirted Taylor might set him back. The Hokies didn't look like that strong of a team and I think Glennon's Senior status could help lead this team; as for his quarterbacking skills; they should improve drastically by next game...if he gets the chance.
from 3 months ago
L,
Well, they do have Furman next, so it has to get better to be honest...
We'll see what Beamer does. I bet he keeps him in there for another week.
3 months ago
All Chump Team = Brilliant Article Idea
from 3 months ago
I second that. This was a fun read.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Shawn! Thanks Brett!
Much appreciated...
Hey Brett - a PSU guy are you? I'm a Nittany Lion myself.
Take care...
3 months ago
Good article. Fun read. One correction though: Alabama's running back is Glen Coffee, not Gary Coffee.
from 3 months ago
Hey Chris,
Good catch, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. Apparently, I myself needed some coffee when writing this one late last night.
Take care...
3 months ago
Outstanding, POD
Here's a Vol hoping UCLA will make a late appearance on this list.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Brian, much appreciated!
We'll see how that game goes... I hope it will be a good one. I have the Vols winning, but who knows.
3 months ago
Did you watch OSU Youngstown State game? I believe Robiskie caught every catchable pass to him including a fabulous TD catch. They even had Posey in there to play (freshman) and Small caught several passes. I agree with the others though.
from 3 months ago
Hey Paul,
I watched some of the game, yes - probably about half of it. I was switching in between a few games. There certainly are legit arguments on the WR options for this week. With all the elite WR's mostly playing against cupcakes, many were not often needed for big performances. From the nation's current elite, Robiskie and Byrd put up the lowest numbers. I wanted to go with an Arkansas or Mississippi State WR, but neither team really had anyone that is expected to be one of the best in the country - so I left them off the list.
3 months ago
Nice read. Hopefully, none of my team will make this piece anytime soon.
RTR.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Roll Tide.
If 'Bama keeps playing like that, I wouldn't worry about it. Then again, I'm sure off performances will come into play for every team. For your sake, I hope so too though.
3 months ago
Agreed! I look forward to seeing this on a weekly basis!
from 3 months ago
Thanks Rob! I guess I will be seeing you next week then. Take care...
3 months ago
Well I agree with your articlw, I just think Clemson's offensive line SHOULD be on their, but not C.J. and James. One of the few times that C.J. touched the ball he ran a kickoff return back, think it would've been a different run game with a better line?
from 3 months ago
CJ did have that kick return for a TD, yes.
As for the line, they are inexperienced and have some new guys starting - plus no seniors. Give them some time to maybe get some experience, build some cohesion, and you could see a spark in the running game.
3 months ago
yeah you're gonna have to update this article and replace tommy beacher with UCLA's quarterback
from 3 months ago
Ha ha, seriously. I was thinking the same thing. With four picks by halftime, Craft is really giving Beecher a run for his money!
from 3 months ago
I tell you what, Craft was a different person in the second half... no way he deserves to be on this list after that performance.
3 months ago
and i disagree with brian robiskie and demtrius byrd considering they probably didn't play that much since both teams probably put in younger guys to get some playing time
from 3 months ago
The WR list for this week was tough with so many of the top teams playing cupcakes. I understand everyone's argument there - but who are better options to go there? Perhaps Clemson's WR Aaron Kelly, but the Tigers had already dominated the rest of the post. I wanted to spread the wealth some.
3 months ago
Thanks for not mentioning Illinois' porous d-line that gave up 226 yards to Missouri. You were 100% correct on the Tigers' inability to contain the passing game of Illinois as well. Very solid article, although I can see why the WR part of it was difficult to put together. A lot of performances in both categories. Keep it up!
from 3 months ago
Thanks Jim...
Yes, the WR group was tough this week... I do understand everyone's arguments. I couldn't find anyone better to slip in there. I'm sure going forward, the choices will be easier at WR. Likely, there will be more than enough choices, and new discussions will emerge, which is fine by me.
Yeah, Illinois certainly shouldn't get a free pass for giving up 52 points, but the Missouri secondary left so many wide open receivers, it was mind blowing to me. Juice didn't even hit all of them.
3 months ago
Well they are talking about taking some redshirts off of some freshmen, so we'll see how that turns out. I like the Beecher choice though, haha nice article.
from 3 months ago
It will be interesting to see how it turns out. It would be a shame if Clemson couldn't manage to make any holes for those two talented RB's.
Thanks...
3 months ago
Robiskie is also nursing a shoulder injury, he'll get better. I agree with the rest though, especially Clemson's team looking almost like a high school team playing against Alabama, I guess nobody will be buying their stick anytime soon. good article i liked it.
from 3 months ago
I heard that regarding Robiskie's shoulder. Those injuries can be nagging and lingering, but I'm sure OSU will take care of him the right way.
As for Clemson, absolutely. They were absolutely dominated... I was pretty surprised. I expected that game to be much more competitive.
Thanks - talk to you later
3 months ago
"Bea Arthur"? I'm dyin'...
from 3 months ago
That's only the third Bea Arthur reference I've ever seen in 3+ months on B/R.
from 3 months ago
LJ,
Ha ha... twice maybe, but three times? C'mon really?! All this time, I thought it was original =)
from 3 months ago
Kiddin'! Made you think though didn't it!
from 3 months ago
I was pretty sure that you were kidding... but for a second, I did think... now wait a second...
Hey you never know, maybe there's a Bea Arthur Fan Club out there that I'm not aware of...
3 months ago
Well...looks like Craft is of the All-Chump Team, at least the guy disguised as Craft in the 2nd half!
Might want to add Tennessee Athletic Director whomever that may be. No more scheduling west coast trips!
from 3 months ago
And while we're at it, we should probably allow Fullmer for the coaching job he did (or didn't do). There is no way that UCLA should have been in that game. Give the Bruins credit though... and Craft too, what a turnaround in the second half. Unreal.
from 3 months ago
I just noticed that I gave Fulmer an extra "L" in his name on my last comment. I guess I'm so used to him having the L's around, that it just happened that way.
3 months ago
tennessee's coaching staff should make an appearance in 3..2...1
from 3 months ago
Tada!
They're in!
OK, they're not, but someone is going to make an appearance next week for sure.
3 months ago
How about a kicker too? Can I suggest Tennessee's man Lincoln for his overtime miss (as well as two others during the game??)
from 3 months ago
Definitely for the OT miss... he pulled that one big time. I'll give him a pass on the two 50+ yarders earlier in the game. Those aren't a walk in the park. Still, making one of them would have helped... he has the leg.
3 months ago
Kevin, good work. Great idea for an article.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Timothy, much appreciated!
3 months ago
Funny stuff, chump!!
from 3 months ago
Ha ha, thanks... I think.
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