The Definitive Guide To Creating The Perfect WAG
How do you create perfection? Is perfection even attainable? Is there a formula that we could use to create such a beautiful creature?
I wish I knew the answers. I only know that making a woman out of WAG body parts would be the closest to perfection we can attain.
If there was a formula for perfection, many of these women have already stolen it from the patent office and stuck it under their bed.
Here is my creation of the sexiest and most perfect WAG this world has ever seen.
Hair: Lisa Dergan
How did Scott Podsednik land Lisa Dergan?
I am dead serious people. How the hell did he do that? What kind of magic did he use to lock her down?
Eyes: Carmella Decesare
With a body like hers, who really cares what her eyes look like?
I can tell you one thing, if I could use her face for this project I would have, it is one of the best in the WAG business.
Nose: Halle Berry
No need to thank me for using Halle Berry, you can thank David Justice for that.
He might be old news but at least he brought the sexiest female alive into the WAG world.
Smile: Carrie Underwood
When Carrie Underwood officially joined the ranks of WAG, I had to celebrate.
I had to express my joy of finally being able to use her in almost any slide featuring a WAG, ever. She was a babe from the first moment she showed up on American Idol and she is even hotter today.
Her smile is probably the best smile in this universe, and for that, she gets to be a part of this creation.
Jawbone: Heidi Klum
If you were wondering why Heidi Klum has made an appearance on this list, you can thank Flavio Briatore for that one. He got the honor of marrying this beautiful Victoria's Secret model, thus bringing her into the world of WAGs.
Now if only we could convince her to pose for Playboy, then it would all be right.
Neck: Carrie Prejean
Regardless of who she is dating or who she is with, Carrie Prejean has an incredible feautre located just above her beautiful chest, her neck.
I am not too sure what it is but something has me wanting to use it. Oh, I remember know, she is a smoking hottie and any part of her body could have made this Perfect WAG.
Shoulders: Jennifer Walcott
I bet you didn't realize that she had the sexiest shoulders since anyone started to judge that particular feature.
Well, I am here today to sell you on the fact that Jennifer "Perfection" Walcott has the greatest pair of shoulders in the WAG game today. It was a close call between her and some others but for some reason, I just could not pass on showing her off.
Chest: Kelly Brook
Do I need to explain why Kelly Brook's chest would be used? Seriously?
I think you already figured out without any help from me.
Stomach: Irina Shayk
Whether she is fully clothed or almost naked, Irina Shayk is one of the hottest women alive. Ever.
She has an incredible body, which is one of the reasons we are using her stomach for this creation. Her stomach is only a teaser though. She has everything I would want in a WAG but for this perfect creation, I must use others as well.
Butt 1: Mayra Veronica
Thank you Reggie Bush. Thank you so much for Mayra Veronica.
Reggie has dated so many beautiful women, it was hard to choose which two would be used for the butt.
Mayra was one half, and the other...
Butt 2: Kim Kardashian
Once again, thanks Reggie.
Arms: Abbey Clancy
As if there was another reason to get to look at the always beautiful Abbigal Clancy.
I use her arms for this creation but I mainly wanted to have another excuse to look at her for a few more minutes.
Gisele has one of the greatest pair of legs in the world, period.
There is no need to argue who has a better set of legs, she wins every time. Now we just need to get Tom Brady away from her so that people like me stand a chance. It might be a tiny chance but it is better than nothing. Ok, so it might actually be nothing.
Calves: Kiana Kim
I think Pete Rose might have given himself a heart attack the first time he saw Kiana Kim naked.
I know I would have. I almost had one just now as I was typing this and looking at her.
Feet: Selita Ebanks
Because without feet, we would have a beautiful body that could not stand up or walk.
Selita Ebanks provides us with the finishing touches to this perfect creation.
Skin: Adriana Lima
What is a body without skin?
I will tell you, it is just a bunch of bones, blood, and muscle. That is just gross. Thanks to Adriana Lima for sealing up the finest WAG creation in the history of time.
Personality: Gabrielle Union
There is no official reason for adding personality to this beautiful body of WAG perfection until I realized we needed something from Gabrielle Union.
Look at her. She had to be a part of this creation. I was left with no choices.