Billboard Top 32: Ranking The NFL Teams With a Song
The NFL has been crazy this year. There have been some unexpected teams at the top and some unexpected teams at the bottom.
As Week 11 approaches, some teams are getting ready to make a run for the playoffs, while others are counting down the days until the draft. Carolina or Buffalo: who wants the No. 1 pick?
Ranking the NFL teams is a difficult and somewhat daunting task. To make it more fun, I gave each team a song from the Billboard Top 100 Chart to go along with their ranking.
These rankings are based on the entire season, as I know some teams looked better than their rank last week. The songs attached are also based on the entire season.
Here is how the NFL teams rank through Week 10.
Who Wants The Top Draft Pick?
32. Carolina Panthers (1-8): Just a Dream by Nelly
At least that is what the Panthers are hoping. They rank dead last in total offense. Matt Moore went down for the season and Jimmy Clausen suffered a concussion last week. They now have Brian St. Pierre at the helm. He was not even in training camp with the Panthers.
31. Cincinnati Bengals (2-7): Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
The Bengals have arguably two of the top receivers in the NFL in Ochocinco and Owens. Jermaine Gresham, Cedric Benson, and Carson Palmer aren't too bad, either. This team just does not play well together on offense or defense.
30. Dallas Cowboys (2-7): Dynamite by Taio Cruz
You do not really know what to expect from the Cowboys. After giving up 45 points to Green Bay, they come back with a win against the Giants. They are only games away from exploding (positively or negatively), hence the term "dynamite."
29. Detroit Lions (2-7): Blah Blah Blah by Ke$ha
Every year, the Lions tell everyone they will go 8-8. By midseason, the same team tells everyone "if so-and-so wasn't hurt" or "we'll go 8-8 next year" or "we're the team next year." No offense, Lions, but it's all blah-blah-blah again. There are more problems than everyone realizes.
28. Buffalo Bills (1-8): Forget You by Cee Lo Green
The Bills are almost a placeholder in the NFL. They just make sure there are 32 teams. The sole win came against the Lions. The Bills are 26th in total defense and 28th in total offense. These three things are why they came in at 28th.
27. Arizona Cardinals (3-6): Bottoms Up by Trey Songz
Things have gone from bad to worse for the Cardinals this year. After losing Kurt Warner to retirement, they released Matt Leinart after the preseason. By doing this, they never gave Derek Anderson or Max Hall a chance with the first-string offense. They will be playing catch-up this season.
Not Quite There Yet
26. Minnesota Vikings (3-6): As She's Walking Away by Zac Brown Band
This is basically the "Favre Farewell Tour" for the rest of the season. While it is a little harsh to refer to Brett as a "she," there was no "As He's Walking Away." Minnesota still has some life left with Adrian Peterson and the defense.
25. Cleveland Browns (3-6): Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
No, Colt McCoy is not a teenager, but he is pretty close. Since taking over the team, McCoy is 2-2 beating the New Orleans Saints and New England Patriots. Is he living a dream or the real deal? Either way, this experience can only help in the future.
24. Denver Broncos (3-6): Yeah 3x by Chris Brown
3x is for each win, which have come against Seattle, Tennessee and Kansas City. The Broncos rank fifth in total offense but 25th in total defense.
23. San Francisco 49ers (3-6): Love the Way You Lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna
The 49ers were the favorites to win the NFC West this year. While they are not out of it, they have an uphill battle. Starting off 0-5 earned them the "lie" part of the song.
22. St. Louis Rams (4-5): Hot Tottie by Usher featuring Jay Z
St. Louis is a pleasant surprise this year. While his numbers are not stellar, Sam Bradford is one of the better quarterbacks in the Rams recent years. He is the hot tottie leading his team to a 4-5 record and in a position to challenge for the division.
21. Washington Redskins (4-5): Can't Be Friends by Trey Songz
The Redskins have had some off-the-field problems this year with Albert Haynesworth and a lot of the McNabb doubters. They have also had trouble staying healthy, mostly in the backfield.
They Still Have a Chance
20. Houston Texans (4-5): Felt Good on My Lips by Tim McGraw
At one point this season, Houston was 3-1 and sitting on top of their division with a surprising win over the Indianapolis Colts. Now, they are back at the bottom, but still have a chance to make some noise in the division.
19. San Diego Chargers (4-5): Lay it Down by Lloyd
San Diego is mostly this low because of their record. The Chargers lost three straight, but have bounced back winning two in a row. If they want to win the division, now is the time to "lay it down." They have four divisional games to go, including one against Denver this Monday.
18. Kansas City Chiefs (5-4): September by Daughtry
Kansas City was one of the shocking teams this season, going 3-0 in September. Since that month, they are 2-4 and fading, losing their last two games.
17. Miami Dolphins (5-4): What's My Name by Rihanna
Miami is expected to have their third starting quarterback this season on Sunday. Chad Henne started most of this season. Chad Pennington started one game, but went out early in the game with a shoulder injury. Tyler Thigpen is likely to start this week.
16. Oakland Raiders (5-4): My Kinda Party by Jason Aldean
Oakland is living it up right now on top of the division. With three wins in a row, they will have a huge test against Pittsburgh this week. Darren McFadden is averaging over 100 yards a game, helping the carousel of quarterbacks.
Watch Out Top Ten
15. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-4): Only Prettier by Miranda Lambert
Jacksonville is an unpredictable team. They win ugly, they lose ugly, they beat Indianapolis and Houston, but lose to Tennessee and Kansas City.
14. Tennessee Titans (5-4): Why Wait by Rascal Flatts
Tennessee basically controls their own destiny with the division. They have five divisional games left, including two against Indianapolis. If they want to make the playoffs, now is the time to gun it.
13. Seattle Seahawks (5-4): Hello World by Lady Antebellum
Everyone has pretty much forgotten about Seattle. With Arizona winning the division the past few years and San Francisco as the favorites this year, Seattle has flown in under the radar. While this division is still up in the air, Seattle sits pretty at the moment.
12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3): I Like It by Enrique Iglesias
At least that's what I hope they are saying in Tampa. With the 22nd-ranked offense and the 22nd-ranked defense, they have managed to win six games. With some tough games ahead of them, Tampa Bay should enjoy this while it lasts.
11. Chicago Bears (6-3): Come Back Song by Darius Rucker
The Bears have missed the playoffs the past three years. Tied on top of the NFC North, they control their destiny, having beat the Packers in Week 2. They have some big tests coming up and a game at Green Bay in Week 17...possibly the Divisional Championship Game?
10. New Orleans Saints (6-3): Who Are You When I'm Not Looking By Blake Shelton
New Orleans surprised everyone last year when they knocked off the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV. I would say they even surprised a few people when they beat Minnesota in the NFC Championship Game.
Now, all eyes are on New Orleans. While they are 6-3, it has been a struggle to get there. The offense is not getting the numbers they did last year. Drew Brees has thrown 12 picks this year in nine games, one more than his total last year in 15 games.
The Saints have beaten Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay, but lost to Cleveland and Arizona. They seem to have started to hit their stride to fight for a playoff berth.
9. New York Giants (6-3): No Love By Eminem Featuring Lil Wayne
The New York Giants are 6-3 right now, but you would think they are 3-6. Not very many people are talking about them to win the division or make the playoffs.
Oh, and did you know that the Giants have the No. 1 overall defense in the NFL? Me neither.
Yes, the Giants could have made a statement early in the season if they beat Indianapolis. But they have still beaten Chicago, Houston and Seattle.
The Giants took a hit when they lost to Dallas last weekend, but could rebound with a primetime win at Philadelphia on Sunday. If they win this game, they will be in good position to make the playoffs.
8. Green Bay Packers (6-3): Animal By Neon Trees
This title is mostly for Clay Matthews. Green Bay needs him to stay healthy if they want to win the division. Without Clay Matthews, Green Bay is 0-2 (I count the Washington game because he didn't play the whole game). With Matthews, the Packers are 6-1.
The Packers are a team that made a lot of noise this preseason. Everyone questioned them after losing to Washington on the road and home against Miami.
The Packers impressed everyone with a shutout road victory against the Jets and an embarrassment of the Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.
With a game at the Metrodome on Sunday providing some tough competition, the Packers need some big wins in the next few weeks to be back in the Super Bowl talk.
7. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3): The Show Goes On By Lupe Fiasco
A lot of people, including Steelers fans, were just hoping for a 2-2 record in the four games the Steelers would miss Ben Roethlisberger because of the suspension.
Thanks to some great defense and playing by the backup quarterbacks, the Steelers finished 3-1, making it easier for Ben to come back.
The Steelers struggled against New England at home, but have quality wins against Atlanta, Tennessee, and Tampa Bay.
With Oakland and Buffalo these next two weeks, the Steelers can bounce back before they travel to Baltimore in a pivotal divisional game.
6. Baltimore Ravens (6-3): Check It Out by Will.i.am
With a top-ten defense again, look who is on top of their division (the Ravens currently hold the tie-breaker against Pittsburgh).
Baltimore has a favorable schedule down the stretch. Their three away games are at Carolina (1-8), Houston (4-5) and Cleveland (3-6). They have already beaten Pittsburgh at Heinz Field, but do have another game against the divisional foe.
Baltimore has also beaten the New York Jets, but lost to New England, so they have a chance for a first-round bye if those teams falter.
5. Philadelphia Eagles (6-3): Cooler Than Me By Mike Posner
This is what Kevin Kolb should be thinking. When Michael Vick starts (not just plays, but starts), the Eagles are 4-1 scoring 32 points per game. When Kolb starts, they are 2-2, scoring just over 24 points per game.
If the Eagles want to win the division over the Giants, they need to make sure Vick stays healthy and stays on his game. It does help having the likes of DeSean Jackson to throw to.
With two games against the Giants left on the schedule, the Eagles will have some real tests down the stretch. They also have to travel to Chicago for a tough game after the Sunday Night game against the Giants.
4. Indianapolis Colts (6-3): Mine By Taylor Swift
"Mine" is what the Colts should be thinking about the AFC South. They control their own destiny for the playoffs and still have a chance at the No. 1 seed.
Though the Colts have lost two divisional games, they still have a better record and have four divisional games left. This is how they control their destiny.
Arguably their biggest challenge this season will come on Sunday at the New England Patriots. They will have some other tests, including San Diego and two games against Tennessee.
3. Atlanta Falcons (7-2): Raise Your Glass By Pink
The Atlanta Falcons are currently the best team in the NFC. While their only "quality" wins are against New Orleans and Baltimore, the Falcons have also beaten Tampa Bay and Cleveland.
The loss against Philadelphia could ultimately cost them the No. 1 seed, but there is too much football left to go down that road right now.
Atlanta still has four road games to play, plus a contest against Green Bay. They still have to face New Orleans one more time. There are still plenty of bumps in the road to the playoffs, but for now, Atlanta is No. 1, so enjoy it!
2. New York Jets (7-2): Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars
We like the New York Jets "just the way they are," although they probably would only like it if they were No. 1.
The Jets have improved from last season when they went 9-7 and won two playoff games. That's impressive. They also already beat New England this season. The only other big win was on the road at Denver.
When they hosted Green Bay, they got shut out. When they hosted Baltimore, they scored less than 10 points. Other than those two blemishes, the Jets have looked pretty good.
They travel to New England for a primetime Monday Night match-up.
1. New England Patriots (7-2): We R Who We R By Ke$ha
Although the Jets beat the Patriots, New England got the nod because of their quality wins. They also still have one more game this season at New England.
The Patriots have beaten Baltimore at home and San Diego and Pittsburgh on the road. Yes, they lost to Cleveland, but it was at the Dawg Pound.
The Patriots have some tough remaining games, hosting the Jets, the Colts and Green Bay. They have an easier road schedule, but do travel to Chicago.
There could be a new No. 1 by the end of the season....or a new favorite for the Super Bowl. Only time will tell.
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