Top 10 Funny Quotes in Football: From Commentators to Players

KabeeR JoshiContributor INovember 7, 2010

Top 10 Funny Quotes in Football: From Commentators to Players

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    The last couple of weeks have witnessed some weird ,or bizarre, as some newspaper labeled, sayings and quotes from football managers.

    A must-mention goes to former Liverpool manager, Rafael Benitez. Following his successor's remarks on Kenny Dalglish's involvement in the club, the Spaniard came up with, "White liquid in a bottle has to be milk,"—a Spanish saying which means things are so obvious for everyone to see.

    The second installment came, this time from within UK, just before the Champions League clash between the champions Inter and the debutantes, Tottenham.

    Upon being accused of a poor transfer record and inheritance of a poor squad, Rafa went to say, "Some people can not see a priest on a mountain of sugar,"—again meaning more or less what "white liquid" meant.

    I am very much convinced there would be few more to come in the future. But, let's see what are others' funny, hilarious, awkward, ironic or humorous, whatever you call it, quotes from the past. I tried to rank them in top 10, however, if you think you've got one to add then you can comment it!

10. Ian Rush: Liverpool Legend

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    Really? we thought it was like merseyside :D

    "It was like being in a foreign country," Ian said when asked how was it to play for Juventus and the difficulties adjusting to life in Italy.

    It IS a foreign country, Ian.

9. Howard Wilkinson: Former England Player/Manager

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    hmm you could be a great Mathematics teacher, Sir!

    "I'm a firm believer if you score one goal, then the other team have to score two to win"- Wilkinson.

    And one to draw, yeah? Thanks for the insight, Howard.

8. Ron Atkinson: Commonly Known As

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    Clive says: and what are those two M's?

    This one comes from our great "Big Ron." The person so well-known for his witty gestures and his own "Ronology!"

    "Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's—movement and positioning." - Ron Atkinson

    Yep, Clive probably thought the same thing you are thinking right now after reading this!

7. Ron Atkinson: Again, Yes

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    Hey Ron, last night we lost the game minus2 to 0 to Funny F.C

    As I mentioned earlier, Ron was famous for a lot of things other than his playing style. No. 7 is also occupied by "Big Ron."

    "Zero-zero is a big score"- Ron Atkinson

    I wish the opponents lost by minus three or four sometimes.

6. David Beckham: The Football Superstar

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    Sure you can, Becks

    The most famous superstar of all, David Beckham, has quoted quite a few funny things. This one certainly is one of them.

    "Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side," said Becks when he was asked if he was "volatile" on the pitch? He definitely took it as "versatile!"

    Hmm yep, It's definitely English, perhaps they pronounce it differently back there in America.  

5. Gordon Strachan: The Scottish Footballer

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    Reporter thinking: Apart from the bridge, sounds good!!

    Gordon Strachan. the Scot who played 21 years in the English or Scottish top-level football league. On a long unbeaten run of his then-club, Middlesbrough,

    Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

    Gordon: No. I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I can take it, yeah.

    I will take it as, YES.

4. Mark Draper: Former Aston Villa Midfielder

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    Hmm where are you from again?

    The 40-year-old ex-Villa midfielder ranked in the top five here, for the first time in his career, perhaps.

    His ambitions were quite clear when he said: "I'd like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona."

3. Mark Viduka: The Ex-Socceroos Captain

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    And I'd not be bothered to know why you didn't!!

    Mark Viduka is No. 3 for giving us one of the funniest quotes of English football.

    After a few losses on a raw he concluded: "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the League."

    The Aussie footballer finds the concept of a league table hard to fathom! Perhaps he should go to Howard Wilkinson's mathematics class!

2. Ron Greenwood: The England and West Ham Utd Manager

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    And what about Australian sides like LA Galaxy?

    Ronald Greenwood, Ron, was an English player who also managed English national side and West Ham Utd in the late '70s and early '80s.

    He was quoted saying, "Playing with wingers is more effective against [a] European side like Brasil than English sides like Wales."

    He would have loved managing Mark Viduka, though.

1. A Commentator with Metro Radio

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    Thank God not 22!!!

    Unfortunately, I do not know the great radio commentator's name here.

    In the summer Olympics 2004, during one football match he said: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field."

    I don't know if he retained his job or not after that match.  

Your Suggestions?

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    The top 10 list, according to me, finishes here. Thanks for going through it.

    If you have something to add, please do so in the comments below.