10. Being outside. There is really no reason to be outside for this long.
9. Prolonged exposure to the sunlight. When you golf, you are just asking for skin cancer.
8. Losing. Not only is golf boring, but it also consists of one of my least favorite things: losing.
7. Getting up in the morning. You get two days a week to sleep in. Why waste one of them by golfing?
6. Goofy Outfits. Any sport that you have to dress up to play is not a real sport.
5. Environmentally Unfriendly. According to my research, golf is the leading cause of global warming.
4. Expensive. After you tally up clubs, rounds of golf, and lessons, your money for lap dances will disappear.
3. Cuts into your only free time of the week. You really have nothing better to do on Saturday? When did doing nothing become so bad?
2. Everyone Cheats. Leave the game to the pros. Everyone else should just stay home.
1. White People. Have you ever been to a golf course? They are all over the place.
Despite the ample reasons to avoid golf at all costs, golf clubs are an investment no person should go without.
You ever need to disappear for hours? Than golfing is the perfect alibi. If you want to drink, gamble, cheat on your wife, go on drug benders, or fulfill prurient interests, all you need is a set of clubs, and you are in the clear.
If you have a bunch of friends who also want to sneak off on Saturday, you got yourself a foursome. Looks like you are going to actually have a good weekend.
Just make sure to take some lessons and go to the range so you are covered if you ever have to golf with the in-laws, or at work.