SEC Football: Predicting Every Game of Week 9

It's about time for that Gator hat to start closing its eyes...
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There wasn't really anything special in my performance last week. As usual, the Georgia Bulldogs do the opposite of what I expect them to do and Auburn keeps winning.

There isn't a true "GREAT" game this week in the SEC. Then again, it's weekends like this that can actually make the most noise in college football.

Here are my picks for the ninth week of Southeastern Conference football!

Tennessee Volunteers (2-5) at No. 20 South Carolina Gamecocks (5-2)

His hair is stiff. So is his favorite team's offense.
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The Germans are coming! The Germans are coming!

If that doesn't sound ridiculous and historically inaccurate, then surely Derek Dooley's now infamous comments to the media do.

You know what else is ridiculous? That South Carolina can blow out Alabama, then lose to Kentucky and nearly lose to Vanderbilt. But hey, this is South Carolina.

I honestly thought the Gamecocks had turned the corner. But as it turns out, it was foolish for me to think that South Carolina could turn the corner.

They should beat the Vols, though, because I'm not sure this year's Vols could beat the 1903 Tennessee team...

South Carolina 31, Tennessee 3

SWING GAME OF THE WEEK: Kentucky (4-4) at No. 21 Mississippi State (6-2)

Alabama's ticket printers can't spell Mississippi. Dan Mullen can't spell Lose.
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The Bulldogs barely escaped UAB last week. Kentucky didn't escape, rather they did their weekly routine of falling down and coming back. Only thing is, UK was already down too far to make a game of it.

Kentucky has its first road game since a blowout loss to Ole Miss in Oxford. Mississippi State, ranked 21st in the BCS standings, is at home in cowbell-laden Starkville.

UK is looking for bowl contention, and this upset would be a big boost. Mississippi State looks to keep their ranking and win their seventh game in nine tries this season.

My heart says Mississippi State. My head says Mississippi State. My colon says Kentucky.

Mississippi State 34, Kentucky 26

Vanderbilt Commodores (2-5) at No. 19 Arkansas Razorbacks (5-2)

He's at the 10, to the 9, to the 8, to the 7, to the 6...
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Raise your hand if you think Vanderbilt has a chance in this one.

(HINT: I'm not raising my hand.)

Hogs win easily.

Arkansas 49, Vanderbilt 25

No. 1 Auburn Tigers (8-0) at Ole Miss Rebels (3-4)

You have a better chance of owning a black bear farm in Mississippi than Ole Miss has to beat Auburn.

It's always a big deal when the No. 1 team in the land comes to town. That's the case in Oxford this week, when Ole Miss tries to become the fourth straight team to beat the No. 1 team in America. Problem is, Ole Miss has never beaten the top-ranked team, and quiet frankly, Auburn has their number, to a tune of 25-9 all time.

Ole Miss has a great dual-threat in Jeremiah Masoli. They have the home crowd. But Cam Newton refuses to lose. Ole Miss has an atrocious defense that can't tackle at all. Ole Miss gives up 32 a game. Auburn has some resistance early, but unless something very unexpected happens, this one will be all Auburn.

Auburn 44, Ole Miss 23

SEC Game of The Week: Florida (4-3) Vs. Georgia (4-4) In Jacksonville, Florida

I keep losing track of which RB for Georgia is in jail every week...
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The World's Largest Outdoor Party where Drinks are Served (seeing as I can't call it the you-know-what) pits two disappointing teams against each other.

In this corner, weighing in at 4-3, from Gainseville, Florida.... the 3-time loser in the past four weeks, the Florida Gators!

And in this corner, weighing in at 4-4, from Athens, Georgia.... the weirdest, most up-and-down team you'll ever see, the Georgia Bulldogs!

Prediction: The first quarter has little excitement, as UGA kicks a field goal for a 3-0 lead. Midway through the second, John Brantley finds Jeffrey Demps from 50 yards out, and Florida has a 7-3 lead. A field goal right before halftime gives the Gators a 10-3 lead.

In the third quarter, John Brantley fumbles after a sack, and UGA picks the ball up and returns it all the way to the one. Then, Aaron Murray keeps it on a QB sneak. Touchdown, Georgia! It's 10-10. After a Gators three-and-out, UGA moves down the field again, and Murray finds A.J. Green from 24 yards away. 17-10 Georgia! Florida picks up a first down, but then a bad snap leads to a turnover at the 35-yard line.

UGA drives into the fourth quarter, picking up a field goal to make it 20-10 in favor of the 'Dawgs. It's a 17-0 run for Georgia, then the wheels come off of Florida. Brantley throws an interception returned to the Gators' 45-yard line. Six plays later, Murray again finds A.J. Green from six yards out in the corner of the end zone. 27-10 Georgia. Florida then has another bad snap as the pressure continues to grow, and UGA recovers. Four plays later, whichever RB for UGA isn't in jail this week finds the end zone. 34-10, Georgia. Florida gets some life when they return the next kickoff for a touchdown and get a two-point conversion, but UGA responds by recovering the onside kick and scoring again with two minutes left. UGA gets very sweet revenge, using a 31-0 run and outscoring Florida 38-8 in the second half to send Florida spiraling down into a depression.

Georgia 41, Florida 18