Dallas Cowboys: Mired in Dysfunction, Rename to Girly Cowgirls

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Dallas Cowboys: Mired in Dysfunction, Rename to Girly Cowgirls
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

It hasn’t been a spectacular season for America’s team, the team suddenly known as America’s Disgrace. If you actually like the Dallas Cowboys when the franchise is declared as a laughingstock, bigger than its massive palace that seems like an atmosphere of ignominy and mortification, nowadays you are rallying behind a dysfunctional franchise.

The face of the Cowboys is stuck in a hideous storm, a state of mortality when it was once renowned religiously for excelling in triumph and experiencing joy and exhilaration. There are plenty of reasons to dislike the renamed Cowgirls at a moment when the team is almost as scary to watch as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and now it seems any team is competent and savvy in embarrassing the girly franchise residing in the heart of Texas.

For years, this national precept that we’re supposed to verify a disoriented team as America’s team is overblown, particularly when the Cowboys are mediocre and soft. As long as stubborn owner Jerry Jones keeps a soft, nitwitted Wade Phillips as head coach, the Cowboys will perpetually be maligned and ridiculed. Years ago, the Cowboys were nearly unbeatable and were allowed to be worshipped as the winningest franchise in sports, worthy of dignified prestige in the gratifying days.

But as the years progressed, the Cowboys are now football’s ugliest joke as Jones squandered millions of his player’s payroll to pamper his star players and has wastefully spent on megastars in his current roster. Whatever he does, it backfires in his face and pathetically casts gloom on a franchise forecasted to win the Super Bowl this season, long overdue in capturing a championship and uplifting a football-oriented town with happiness.

This was supposed to be the year the Cowboys ended a dreaded streak of anguish, but it won’t happen unless Jones, who is the primary diplomat in football, stops demanding control of a franchise that needs discipline and guidance from a stringent and intellectual voice to mend the lacking chemistry. Doomed by all the melodrama involving a head coach with a low-keyed demeanor, the Cowboys have yet to address the weaknesses and still bypass the pursuit of a Super Bowl title.

Assuming that Jones likes controlling his coaches, he has no intentions on firing Phillips. He notoriously made a mistake when he extended his contract, perhaps the most foolish move by a classy owner who desires winning. Until he cans Phillips, he’ll have a formidable team and won’t ever win a title. If he’s thinking wisely, he’d dismiss a cowardice Phillips and interview Bill Cowher for the coaching job and hire the future Hall of Famer to rebuild an inferior team.

The biggest leader in the room, however, is a useless and injured Tony Romo. But in the meantime, his inspirational voice isn’t enough to enkindle or encourage a demoralized team that cannot desert long-lasting fiascoes. It must have been painful on the first play of the second quarter drive for a colossal stadium packed with 91,000 fans. A night nearly fell silent and collectively people cried when Giants linebacker Michael Boley charged towards Romo at full speed and drove the starting quarterback into the ground.

He clearly delivered a vicious hit that left a fracture. As fans collectively worried with solicitous facial expressions, he sustained a heartbreaking injury, adding to the affliction for a franchise badly attempting to put aside the disillusionment. It was a play that shifted the complexion in a hurry, and everyone from the cheerleaders, to the coaching staff, to the fans looked onto the field and witnessed Romo grimacing on the turf in pain.

For several minutes, he laid on the field in distress and slowly rose onto his feet gingerly. Over on the sideline, he was swarmed by medical personnel, and he was removed from the game. As much as he tried to stay in the game, he was replaced eventually by backup Jon Kitna. But this being a horrid season, the year was practically over for the Cowboys and without their franchise quarterback, this basically ended the miserable year for good.

It’s a devastating blow, and Romo knew it as well, leaving the field in despair. On the sideline, he tried to return to the game, but a trainer escorted the ailing quarterback back to the bench. This would provoke frustration in which he tossed his helmet and departed to the locker room to be examined, having been diagnosed with a fractured left clavicle in his left throwing shoulder.

“It was part of our blitz package,” Boley said. “The guard stayed in his three-technique on the tackle and they just didn’t see me coming. I showed coverage and then came. I guess it was a big play.”

It was a big play all right. In fact it was the biggest play of the game.

“When he hit the ground,” Boley said, “I heard he let out a little scream. So I knew something was up.”

According to Jones the doctors informed him that Romo may not opt to undergo surgery but would likely miss six to eight weeks. That is practically the rest of the season. And already, the Cowboys are a staggering 1-5 in the season, following a mind-blowing 41-35 loss to New York in a contest Dallas struggled to adjust to the Giants vehement pass rush. If this game dictated the Cowboys fate, it certainly wasn’t a pleasing ending, but a porous letdown that defined the hapless franchise.

And as the most hyped team in the league, the Cowboys were credited as the most talented team in the league but hasn’t proved worthy amid a struggling offense and mismanaged coaching. There’s no denying that defense is the critical element and the Cowboys forced three turnovers early but had difficulty compiling points. As the Giants assembled a comeback in the second quarter, Miles Austin played as if he was an unfocused T.O. and dropped a pair of critical passes early on.

All season, he has been a primary target in inadequate and bizarre offensive tactics, an indication that offensive coordinator Jason Garrett needs to be dismissed to renounce blunders. If the Cowboys wish to return to championship-caliber, Jones must part ways with the worse play-caller in the game—Garrett.

Most significantly, he has diagramed and called schemes poorly, and no player is functioning well in his discombobulated schemes. As a result, Jason Witten botched a play on a mental lapse that benefited New York. In a bewildered game, he had a fumble that led to a Giants touchdown. And Cowboys’ overrated wide receiver Roy Williams was held without a catch. Suffice it to say that the rookie Dez Bryant outplayed his teammates in a signature game and provided much energy with the remarkable kick return.

The boorish crowd serenaded boos in the third quarter and suddenly a crowd turned angst and irate with the Cowboys performance. Just describe it as a Cow Girlish shocker. Pretty soon, the Cowboys will be run out of town by the Rangers. Pretty soon, the fans will be asking for Cliff Lee to take over at quarterback, or else, fans could clearly arrive next time wearing paper bags over their heads and protesting in the demise of Dallas.

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