It's Bears Week again.
Every Packer fan in the Cheesehead Nation is fully aware of this—which means that it won't be a necessarily good week.
It's not like the week will be intolerable for cheeseheads, or anything, just uncomfortable. You probably don't want to cut one off in traffic this week.
It's not like the cheesehead will go postal on anyone—no, cheeseheads are content with just shooting deer; it's more like how you would feel if you had to eat celery all week. Only celery. And nothing else. For every meal. All week. You'd do it, but you wouldn't be happy about it.
What will be on every cheesehead's mind all week just is how much they hate the Bears. This is a fact. So I thought I'd put together a few of the countless reasons why we hate the Bears to relieve some of the gnawing angst we all feel this week. Here are five reasons we Packer fans hate the Chicago Bears:
1. They are from Chicago.
Nothing good comes out of Chicago. Never has. In fact the only good things to come out of the entire state of Illinois were Abraham Lincoln and Ray Nitschke. Even Santa Claus hates Chicago. He hasn't been there since 1947. And if you are on Santa's bad side, and you live outside of the state, you will get Chicago Bear jerseys and paraphernalia for Christmas. It is worse than getting coal.
2. Dick Butkus
Some of this isn't necessarily Dick Butkus' fault. It is the media's. Because somewhere down the line, the media decided that Dick Butkus was a better linebacker than Ray Nitschke. It certainly wasn't the NFL. For when both Butkus and Nitschke were playing ball, it was not Butkus who was named by the NFL as the best linebacker in the NFL's first 50 years, but Ray Nitschke.
Butkus was a monster. Because a man possesses inhuman bestial qualities, however, does not make him the better linebacker. The main differences between Nitschke and Butkus are that Nitschke would tear your head off, whereas Butkus would tear your head off, then eat it. Nitschke would knock you silly with a broken leg; Butkus would knock you silly with his mother's broken-off leg.
Nitschke played with his heart; Butkus played with his teeth. Vince Lombardi could speak English to Ray Nitschke and Ray would follow orders. George Halas would have to speak in grunts and gutteral noises to Butkus because Butkus could not speak human language, and then have Butkus follow the smell of meat.
Sure, it might be true that Butkus ate some five or six players from opposing teams, but he certainly was no Ray Nitschke.
3. Al Capone/Geraldo
It is common knowledge in Wisconsin that Chicago people come up north to Wisconsin for vacations. I "FIB" you not.
8 comments Last one added 11 months ago — Leave a Comment
Patrick Houston about 1 year ago
whoa! that top pic look kind of homo
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John Fennelly about 1 year ago
In 1965 the New York Giants had the first pick in the NFL Draft. They took Tucker Frederickson the All-American RB from Auburn. The 49ers then took Ken Willard a fullback from North Carolina. The Bears had 3 of the next four picks. They chose Gale Sayers and Dick Butkus in that order. The Cowboys took Craig Morton fifth and Chicago took Tennessee's big tackle Steve DeLong with the sixth pick.
Enough history. My point is the Bears took 2 hall of famers and and an Outland Trophy winner and still sucked. DeLong went to the AFL but eventually played for the Bears in 1972.
The Packers, meanwhile took Donny Anderson with their first pick (#7overall) in 1965. He joined the team in 1966 and stayed until 1971. Which means he was around for a couple of championships. Sayers and Butkus never had a whiff of post-season play. In fact the Bears did not play a post season game between 1963 and 1977.
Anderson was an all-around back who is possibly overlooked when it comes to his overall contribution to the game. He was the first 'special teams' expert in the NFL. Read below...
While with the Packers, Anderson originated the concept of hang time in punting. Until Anderson, punters typically strived for maximum distance, with the NFL's leaders usually averaging 45 or more yards a punt. Punt returns varied, with an average of perhaps 5 yards per return. In 1967, Anderson worked instead at punting the ball higher, shortening the distance traveled but increasing the ball's time in the air, allowing better coverage by his team on the punt return. Green Bay punted 66 times that year, 63 of them by Anderson; opponents were able to return only 13 of them, for a total of 22 yards or about 1/3 yard per punt. It was Anderson's coach, Vince Lombardi, who explained the concept to sportswriters who questioned why Lombardi didn't try to find a better punter than Anderson, who averaged only 36.6 yards per punt that year. Lombardi pointed out the lack of return yardage. Other punters soon followed Anderson, working for greater hang time. Eventually the NFL changed its rules governing punt coverage, to restore the ability to return punts.
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Eaiye Roque 11 months ago
Great insight, cheese-for-brains.
You mention Butkus and Sayers, two titans of the history of the game, but most of your insight is on the phenomenal punting philosophical contribution of the packers.
How apropos.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
the fudge packers and their moldy green and piss yellow will always be homo, like in the picture
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
It's funny you mention polka.... http://www.wisconsinpolkahalloffame.com
You live in a hell hole and I forgive your irrationalism.
Polka hall of fame LOL
What a bunch of dorks!
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
FIBS are coming up to Wisconsin and buying homes. It makes me want to become a UP'r or a Canadian.
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susy soto about 1 year ago
Everything about Wisconsin disgusts me. And Chicago is the shit, your just a fuckin hater.
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Eaiye Roque 11 months ago
Fun read. From your comparison of Nitschke and Butkus I would have thought you were a Butkus fan. What's not to love?
BEAR DOWN!!!
One question, though - who is Walter Peyton?
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