—They still use the English language in England, right?
6. "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."—N.C. State basketball player Charles Shackleford
—Didn’t Rickey Henderson steal this delicious line?
5. "I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."—Pitcher Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.
—It‘s actually a good high...though it smells like losers and Jeff Bagwell’s jock.
4. "They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids."—Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.
—Five OR six: now that’s disturbingly funny.
3. Shaquille O'Neal: "I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak."
—I’m speechless.
2. "Like they say, it ain't over 'til the fat guy swings."—Phillies catcher Darren Daulton on stocky first baseman John Kruk.
—Ahh...baseball players.
And finally, number one...
1. "We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors."—Basketball player Weldon Drew















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