I’ve got a bone to pick with Brett Favre, and I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m pretty sure the entire state of Wisconsin has a bone to pick with Brett Favre. I’m pretty sure Jenn Sterger has a bone to pick with Brett Favre. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to use the words “Brett Favre” ‘bone” and “Jenn Sterger” in the same sentence ever again.
We all know the endless drama that Brett has forced down our throats year after year. He tearfully retires, but then has second thoughts. Should I play or should I not? He dragged the Packers through that mess multiple times, until the Packers finally answered his question for him, and told him if he plays, he won’t be in a Green Bay uniform. No more games on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, no more Lambeau Leaps. The Green Bay Packers were cutting ties with Brett Favre, and rightfully so. They had a young gunslinger by the name of Aaron Rodgers waiting in the wings to take the reins from Favre.
Problem solved, right? Wrong. Brett could still play, and he could still throw it with the best of them. So, like a scorned ex-girlfriend, Brett started sleeping around with the rest of the league to piss off the Packers. Metaphorically, of course. Or, with recent allegations, possibly literally.
Now, I’m a diehard Jets fan. I’ll admit to sprinting around my house at one in the morning after seeing the breaking news on ESPN that Favre had been traded to my beloved Jets. I even wrote down “FAVRE TO THE JETS!” on a piece of paper that I left on the living room table, so my dad would see it when he woke up. I got a green and white Favre jersey for Christmas that year. I was overjoyed.
I was one of thousands of Jets fans that got used by Favre in his attempt to spite the Packers. To use the same girlfriend analogy, we were all collectively the new boyfriend. This great girl is suddenly interested in us, and we don’t care why, we just care that she’s with us. And hey, we’re Jets fans. We’re a little bit desperate; we haven’t won a championship since 1969. So of course we throw ourselves wholeheartedly into this new relationship with Brett Favre that we know won’t last for long. But we look past that and dive straight in.
It also helps that he’s playing out of his mind. The Jets are rolling, and looking like a Super Bowl caliber team. Us Jet fans are all making excuses for his past transgressions, saying things like “Hey can you blame the guy if he wanted to keep playing?” We all ignored the fact that he was somehow able to turn his back on a fan base that was incredibly loyal to him over the past two decades.
Out of nowhere, just as the Jets are picking up steam, the Super Bowl dreams are derailed, and we go from first place to missing out on the playoffs. Favre retires (tearfully of course) and the Jets are back to square one, without a quarterback. Still, we enjoyed our year with Favre while it lasted. Just like the new boyfriend, you enjoy this girl while she lasts, and when she’s gone you’re upset but you understand, it was just a fling.
You understand, that is, until you find out Favre had been hiding a torn muscle in his arm, which caused his poor play and almost singlehandedly destroyed the team’s success. Had he just rested his arm for a couple of weeks, I’m sure Kellen Clemens could’ve held the fort for at least a little while. Let Favre heal up for the playoffs. Instead, we miss the playoffs because Favre tried to be superman and play through an injury.
This is all still somewhat okay in my book. I don’t entirely hate the guy yet. Until he turns around and blames the organization, causing the NFL to investigate the Jets with the threat of possible sanctions. It’s like you finding out that that girlfriend may have fooled around a little behind your back. Okay, let bygones be bygones. But now she’s blaming you. What? How does that even make sense?
So, if you’re keeping score at home, that’s two franchises Brett has messed with. And we haven’t even touched his latest controversy yet. Still, he’s welcomed into quarterback hungry Minnesota with open arms. The ex-girlfriend is finally taking her ultimate revenge. She’s with your biggest enemy (the Vikings) after fooling around with some random guy (the Jets) to piss you off.
And to make matters worse, Favre is playing out of this world for the Vikings. At the tender age of 40, he throws for over 4200 yards, 33 touchdowns and seven interceptions. He has arguably his best statistical season ever. He has taken sufficient revenge on the Packers.
But he’s not stopping there, now he wants to go for the kill. Win the Super Bowl. But, as is what happens to so many in life, karma catches up with him. He throws the loss clinching interception to Tracy Porter with a pass that he should’ve never even considered throwing. Even Tracy Porter was surprised he threw the ball when interviewed after the game.
Not only that, but he gets demolished by the Saints pass rush. He’s battered and bruised. He needs surgery on his ankle. He’s 41 years old. He’s had a great run, and he is still one of the most popular players in the league. Whether he’s famous or infamous at this point is for you to decide. But you can’t deny that he is one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game, and he’s had a hard time walking away from the game. But now, it’s time to go.
And yet, Favre comes back for another season with the Vikings. And karma is not done with him yet. Almost immediately after returning, his leading receiver from last season, Sidney Rice, is lost to hip surgery. When asked if Favre would’ve returned if he had known he would be without his favorite target, Favre replies “I’m not sure.” Way to show faith in the team Brett.
Just to recap, we have a 41-year-old quarterback on a surgically repaired ankle without his number one receiver. His number two receiver, Percy Harvin, is questionable week to week due to migraines. He’s second guessing his decision, only this time he’s wishing he stayed home in Mississippi instead of coming back. And everyone in Green Bay and New York is nodding happily. But karma is not done yet. Not by a long shot.
Allegations surface that, while with the Jets, Brett Favre was involved in some sexual misconduct with a game hostess named Jenn Sterger. Apparently, he was harassing her via text message, and even sent her a picture of his genitals. So, for those of you who still supported him because “he’s a good guy who just can’t walk away from the game he loves,” thanks for trying. Even that’s out the window now. He’s not a good guy at all. As a matter of fact, he’s kind of creepy.
This guy is a grandfather. Literally. Imagine being Jenn Sterger, having Grandpa Favre coming on to her. Favre’s whole shtick about having to do what’s best for his family with regards to playing football is now out the window too, because he clearly is not the most honest family man around. Karma has officially kicked him right in the area that he sent a picture of to Jenn Sterger.
So what does Brett do? Well what he does best of course, he cries. I was not surprised at all when I saw the headline scrolling across the bottom of my screen saying “Favre tearfully apologizes to teammates.” It’s just getting sad now Brett. You’re not a little kid, you can’t expect to tears to fix everything. People stopped feeling sorry for you a long time ago, and even those who still supported you are now having a hard time doing that after the sexual harassment accusations. Brett, there’s no use in crying over spilled milk, or pictures of your junk hitting the internet.
Even though the recent acquisition of Randy Moss breathes some hope into the lungs of the Vikings season, Favre should’ve been smarter when considering whether or not to come back. After ending his Super Bowl run with a game losing interception for the second time (he did it in 2007 against the Giants in the NFC Championship) he should’ve realized that his time had come. To quote Taylor Swift, he “Should’ve said no.” Did I just quote Taylor Swift in a sports article? You’re damn right I did.
Look, all good things must come to an end. After controversial departures from both the Packers and Jets, and an impressive run with the Vikings, Favre should’ve hung up the cleats for good. You just have to know when enough is enough. Two good examples from the T.V. world would be That 70’s Show and Scrubs.
Was That 70’s Show the same after it came back for a final season without Eric Foreman or Kelso? No, not even close. Was Scrubs the same after coming back for a final season without J.D., Elliot, Carla, the Janitor, and about half the cast? God no. All you’re left with is awkward ends to two amazing shows. This awkwardness could’ve easily been avoided if everyone had realized that it’s better to go out on top than on the bottom. Seriously, watch the final seasons of these two shows, they’re offensive to devoted fans such as myself.
That’s what you have with Brett Favre, an increasingly awkward end to a stellar career. What good has come of this season for him? Bum ankle, injuries to his top wide out, doubts about his decision to come back, sexting allegations. If the Vikings hadn’t made a desperation trade for Randy Moss this season might have been a huge disaster. Still, Favre may have come back one time too many, further tarnishing his image in the eyes of the fans.
For now we can only watch and snicker as he gets crushed by defensive lineman, or shake our heads in disgust as he completes a long bomb to Moss. Maybe at the end of this season, he will have finally learned his lesson.
And for the good of the world, let’s pray he doesn’t teach any other grandpa’s how to use a cell phone.