Brett Favre Kicks America in the Nuts Again

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Brett Favre Kicks America in the Nuts Again
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Former folklore hero Brett Favre kicked America in the nuts again last night. Brett Favre was once regarded in the highest echelons of American Sports lore. He was a good 'ole boy, coached by his father, had an arm like a cannon and could manufacture miracles on the field with ease. Brett Favre was beloved by virtually all fans not rooting for teams in the NFC North and diseased NFC Central Division.

Brett Favre turned 41 two days ago, but he probably did not celebrate. Aside from being on pace for the worst statistical season of his career, he had more on his mind.  Allegations of off the field shenanigans involving a lovely former Jets employee, a cell phone and pictures of Mini Brett have put his legendary consecutive games started record in jeopardy. Brett could potentially face suspension.

In this reporter’s eyes, it appears some sort of behind the scenes deal is taking place, in which and Favre will pay Jenn Sterger not to cooperate with any investigation, thus getting both parties what they desire.

Well, not what Brett originally desired. Now he will be happy merely maintain his consecutive games started streak, and ride into the sunset with his head down low, until America ultimately forgives him, which they eventually will. Seriously, he was in “There’s something about Mary.”

Brett Favre has always been a rascal, that is what we loved about him. In the not so distant future, Brett will again be making millions on Sundays. Favre, with his Southern drawl and jokes about his many retirements and subsequent un-retirements, will only be a remote click away during football season.

So what does this say about America? Well, if you have money and are a legend your actions do not have consequences, but we already knew that. This was probably not the first time Brett introduced Mini Brett via picture messaging to a female acquaintance, just the first time it was received so negatively. That is the real accomplishment.

Painkillers can help you “tough” it out, but Brett Favre was so famous and loved that he could get virtually any woman he wanted. He could even succeed employing juvenile tactics like sexting. I thought that is what high school kids did, Brett. 

Brett did something bad and it is going to cost him a significant amount of money.  Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you get shot down and sometimes you crash and burn, but football has always been about the girls. Just ask Tom Brady

Somehow the spectacle of football takes us back to part of our primal nature. Nothing compares to our modern gladiators taking the field in their home or away regalia in front of 70,000 to 90,000 screaming fans and waging battle for sixty minutes.

Beer flows, obscenities fly, players leave the field with the assistance of others, and ultimately, one team wins and one team loses.Once in a blue moon there is a tie, but that is a technicality that occurs when neither team deserves to win. Successful warriors collect the spoils of their deeds: money, fame and booty. This is the system our primal nature set up.

While some of the players walk off the field to lives of relative anonymity—even most die-hard fans probably do not recognize the long snapper—the best players cannot escape their on the field accomplishments. Our society worships football, and as a result, we worship the heroes of the game.

At every level of star’s lives playing football they have been treated differently because of their talent at the game. As a result, we see players behaving immature because they never had to grow up. They are financially secure, idolized and have women throwing themselves at them. Sometimes they take it too far. Brett Favre took it too far and probably should be punished for his actions, but that seems unlikely.

At his post game press conference, the silver fox looked every bit his age. On the field he still shows glimmers of old Brett, but his lack of preparation this summer is apparent in every box score. He may have been physically unable to practice, but showing up to training camp for symbolic purposes would likely not have caused him to play any worse than he is currently playing.

With the return of Randy Moss, the Vikings now have two prodigal sons. Lots of hoopla surrounded his inclusion in the game tonight. Brett and Randy connected for an exciting touchdown strike, but there was nothing but disappointment in the press conference.

Barring a win against the Cowboys next week, the Vikings season will be over. We will likely never experience Brett Favre un-retiring again. His behavior these past few seasons have done a lot to harm our image of him, but deep down we always knew he was mortal like us. Now for the first time, he is acting like it.

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