Lil Red Bears Amazing Resemblance To Head Coach Pelini
Yesterday, I tuned in to a popular sports-talk radio station here in the beautiful "Green Country" of NE Oklahoma, and the Great Cherokee Nation. It is my habit to tune in Monday-Thursday mornings — especially Thursday — in order to get the Big 12 "picks" for the week. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that Nebraska is favored to prevail in its meeting with Texas in Lincoln on Saturday. Nor was I surprised that the pick was plus 9.5 Texas.
If Texas were to catch a beating to the tune of double digits, no one would be surprised.
What I did find surprising is the fact that those making the picks - to a man - seemed to believe that the Longhorns had a very good chance to beat Nebraska. Why then, did they make the picks favoring the other football team?
TEXAS LONGHORNS COMMIT UNFORGIVABLE SIN
I believe the answer lies in the "unforgivable sin". Yep, there is an "unforgivable sin" at the University of Texas football program. There is no absolution for this sin — confession has nor force or effect.
So... what is the unforgivable sin? Nothing could be more simple: Thou shalt not embarrass the University of Texas. Those miserable persons who commit the sin are damned with no possibility of redemption. That's right — its Hell for them, their names are stricken from the Book of Life, and they are cast into the Lake of Fire!
The 2010 Texas Longhorns have done the nasty! Yessir, they have embarrassed the University of Texas. Gyrating about indecently on the field against the likes of UCLA? Thrashed by that dreaded institution across the Red River in Indian Territory? Oh yeah, the sin has been committed. But, to be stricken from the Book of Life? Damned to Hell?
"Wait", you argue. "That's too harsh - there must be some possibility for atonement." The old folks say "no", but I have always felt there might be an out. Maybe a burnt offering of some sort — something really good!
Having turned the whole thing around in my mind, I finally decided that if there exists, some possibility of redemption for utterly horrific and hugely embarrassing play of the Texas Longhorns it might be this: Kicking the hell out of Nebraska! That just might do the job.
If nothing else, it might save Gilbert's job, not to mention Mack Brown. Ah.... by the way, please don't succumb to the lie that Mack Brown's job is safe no matter what. If the Horns continue to look as awful as they have thus far, all that love that Mack Brown has received will go right out the window. Hell, I'm sick of him already. Fire him today! (hey, I'm kidding.... sorta).
So, lets say that the Horns are lined-up in the sights of the old Booger Man. They are a cinch for Hades. But hey, if they can whip the snot out of Nebraska, well.... they might get a reprieve. A powerful incentive to win, huh?
Add to the Horns desire for redemption the fact that they are simply mad as hell. Yes, they are enraged. They despise everyone and everything because they stink so badly. They hate Nebraska's guts and they want to kick someone's butt — HARD! They have been tied to the whipping post all season and they are ready to get some payback - on Nebraska.
HOW WILL THE LONGHORNS BEAT NEBRASKA?
The Horns have a chance of beating Nebraska. I never thought I could bring myself to say so after the last game, but they do. A psychotically enraged, 200 plus pound man in peak physical condition can be a dangerous thing. Texas has a lot of big, healthy old boys on their roster and they are enraged. They really want to hurt people. If they can channel that rage into something that looks like college football, they might be anybody. Nothing resembling college football has as yet been in evidence on the playing field, but you never know.
Make no mistake: Texas has athletes. Great athletes. Athletes who rank in the top 5 percent of all college athletes in the nation. They are enraged athletes too. They don't know they are supposed to collapse once again, they think they are supposed to beat Nebraska. That's why they just might do it.
Texas, bad as they have been, are not say, Kansas State. Texas has tremendous defensive speed - speed enough to run laps around K-State's defenders. Nebraska has not see the kind of defensive speed they are going to encounter with Texas.
Garrett Gilbert can throw the football. He hasn't done so yet, but he knows how. Texas receivers know how to run routes, catch and secure the football. Given the circumstances, Gilbert might just rise to the occasion and do his thing and the receivers might catch it. Hey, hope springs eternal, right?
Maybe the real Texas Longhorns will show up and play error and penalty free football. They know how to do it, heck, they have done it, just not lately.
Of course, all the pent-up rage and determination to hurt Nebraska will go for naught so long as Greg Davis continues to call for bubble screens, throwing under the chains on third down, etc. Davis is a buffoon. Brown is a buffoon where anything other than recruiting and PR are concerned. They stink — bad! So, if Texas is to win, there will have to be some coaching done by somebody. I'm not sure who that might be.
So... there it is folks. Texas might beat Nebraska. I'm gonna go one better and say that Texas is going to beat Nebraska. Yep — I'm way out on a limb here, but that's the call.
So.... step on up Nebraska, and kiss the Donkey! He's waiting fer ya!