Hey Bleachers! As I'm sure some of you know, I write articles about the TNA Knockouts on Knockout-Route.com. Since the site seems to be down today and I don't know when it'll be back up, I've decided to post my weekly Impact Blowout recap on here until the website's up again. Actually, I might start posting on here and there from now on, as I don't ever get any comments on KR. The website's just not popular enough yet, but we'll get there. Now, onto the recap article:
Madison Rayne comes out to the Impact Zone and the ring with some new music and a referee in tow. While this is going on, we cut to some digital shots of the 4 Corners Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory focusing how when Tara won the title, Madison wasn't too pleased about it post-match. Back to the ring, Madison gets on the mic and starts talking. Last Sunday night was the biggest night in professional wrestling. TNA's biggest PPV of the year, Bound For Glory. And she had a plan. That plan included her becoming 3-time TNA Knockouts Champion. Well, that obviously didn't happen because her title is around the waist of Tara right now. The same Tara that has her to thank for having her job back in TNA. So right now, she is demanding that Tara come down to this ring and give her what she deserves. And give her a TNA Knockouts Title shot, RIGHT NOW! Tara, get your ass out here!
Tara comes out to the Impact Zone and the ring, for the first time in forever via her own entrance music and not on a motorcycle. Tara is wearing the TNA Knockouts Championship around her waist and rocking a breast cancer awareness month bow on her wrist. Nice touch! Madison wastes no time getting in Tara's face, reminding her that she's the reason Tara's back in TNA right now. She signed the contract, giving her the right to wrestle in this ring. And if it weren't for her, she wouldn't have been in that match on Sunday. Madison tells Tara that she owes her. They had a deal. She owes her. Tara doesn't seem too happy about this and glances at the Knockouts title belt. Madison reiterates that they had a deal and already talked about this, so do the right thing. Tara takes the Knockouts title belt from around her waist, looks at it again, and hands it to the referee. The referee holds up the belt for all to see, and it looks like we've got an official TNA Knockouts Championship match on our hands.
Match #1: for the TNA Knockouts Championship
Tara (c) vs. Madison Rayne
The bell sounds and Madison signals towards the mat, again telling Tara to do the right thing. Tara is clearly torn, but eventually lays down in the ring. Madison pins her, the referee counts to 3, and the match is over. New champion!
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Madison Rayne
Post-match, Madison fakes shock and dances around the ring, happy, while Tara just stands there, clapping. Madison yells for her music to be played, and celebrates some more, even with Tara for a bit, before going back to celebrating by herself again and getting on the mic once more. She did it! Mom, she did it! Madison has to stop for a minute to catch her breath, and the crowd's really laying it on her with the boos. She has to give Tara credit. She knows that was probably the toughest match…“Hardcore Country” hits, and Mickie James comes out to the Impact Zone with a mic. Wow, really? You actually call yourself a champion. Madison yells that she screwed you, in reference to Mickie. Loud “MICKIE” chants. Mickie continues. You know what? She finds that disgraceful. Not just for her, or for anyone else who's ever held any championship. How dare you?! Madison says she doesn't care, and Mickie tells her to shut her mouth when she's talking to her. How dare you make a mockery out of any championship, and she told her that she was gonna come here and make history. And she told her that she was coming for that TNA Knockouts Championship, and she sees no better time than right now. Madison drops the mic in the ring and starts yelling at Mickie to come get it. Mickie does so, coming down and into the ring, but Madison hides in the corner and tells Tara to get her. Mickie and Tara go at it, until Mickie kicks Tara out of the ring. Madison is quick to get out of the ring as well, but accidentally leaves her championship behind. Mickie picks it up and motions for Madison to come on in and get it. Madison doesn't budge, so Mickie just drops the belt after posing with it a little. Madison grabs the belt and talks trash with Mickie, alongside Tara to end the segment.
Backstage in hair and make-up, The Beautiful People's Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, and Lacey Von Erich are prepping for an appearance tonight in the Impact Zone, and talking about how Angelina's hoop earrings say LOVE. JWoww from MTV's Jersey Shore walks in the room and asks if they know where Cookie is. Lacey starts going nuts and saying that's JWoww from Jersey Shore, and Angelina and Velvet eventually look for themselves and the four girls exchange hugs and pleasantries. Angelina asks JWoww what she's doing here, and JWoww says she's looking for a bitch named Cookie. She's talking s**t. Angelina mentions hearing something about that, but Cookie's new here so they don't really know her too well. JWoww suggests making this Cookie's last night here then, and The Beautiful People agree and say that they've got her back. The Beautiful People and JWoww leave the hair and make-up room, in search for Cookie. Commercial.
Back from the break, JWoww and The Beautiful People are still looking for Cookie backstage and calling out her name. They even check the men's room, since Cookie “looks like a man.” Eventually, they come across the men's locker room and I'm guessing they see something really nasty inside via their joint freaked-out reactions. Eric Young comes out and starts saying, “Oh my God!” like a gazillion times and then pleads with them to wait as they try to walk away. Eric calls JWoww “Bow Wow” and takes his shirt off. He wants her to autograph his jugs, but she doesn't have a pen, and doesn't look like she'd want to even if she did. The Beautiful People try to get the point across that they're looking for Cookie, but Eric continues talking to JWoww, asking her if he's a gorilla. He then says he'll be her chimp, and Orlando Jordan comes walking out of the locker room, obviously wondering what the heck is going on. Eric introduces JWoww to Orlando, and he says she looks absolutely fabulous. He would love to put his lollipop in her mouth! JWoww looks ready to take the lollipop he's offering her, but The Beautiful People are telling her not to do it. It's worth noting that Velvet says “PG” twice. Um Velvet, this isn't PG WWE! TNA is TV-14! JWoww takes the lollipop, but then drops it on the floor and says no. She waves and walks off with The Beautiful People, still in search for Cookie. Eric yells after them that he'll see her on Dancing With the Stars, while Orlando says that Jersey Shore sucks. Eric is convincing himself and Orlando that JWoww likes him as we cut from backstage. (Note: Was this segment even necessary? I answer my own question: NO!)
Robbie E and Cookie are shown on their way to the Impact Zone, and then we cut to see JWoww and The Beautiful People on their way to the Impact Zone as well. JWoww says she'll kick Cookie's ass in the ring. This sounds good to The Beautiful People as we head to commercial.
Back from the break, Robbie E and Cookie of The Shore come out to the Impact Zone and the ring via their usual fist-pumping, lip-gloss applying entrance. Robbie E is first on the mic and asks the crowd and Cookie if we wanna know something crazy. Huge “Who Are You?” chant starts. Robbie E continues that they're on the same time right now as Jersey Shore. And he just wants to say sorry, because after he and Cookie debuted on TV last week, nobody wants to watch them fake punks. Everyone wants to watch them. As far as he's concerned, Jersey Shore is done “my dudes!” Cookie is next up on the mic, and she seriously agrees with him. Those Jersey Shore posers are done for! No more of that disgrace Snooki, no more Situation, and no more of that skank, J-Cow.
Music hits the Impact Zone, and it turns out to be JWoww and The Beautiful People. Wow, JWoww has her own music! I thought she'd come out to The Beautiful People's theme. Moving on, in the ring, Robbie E and Cookie are laughing and taunting at JWoww until she actually gets in the ring and directly into Cookie's face. JWoww asks Cookie if she said something. Cookie gets right back in JWoww's face and says, look who decided to show up. It's that Jersey Shore poser, J-Cow. Yeah, she said something! JWoww drops the mic and takes off her earrings. Us Jersey Shore fans know this means only one thing. Things are about to get heated! Meanwhile, Cookie continues to run her mouth. She knows JWoww a little bit slow, so listen closely this time, alright. Take your fake-ass weave, your fake nails, and your very fake dollar store fun bags, and go crawl back into that hole you came out of. This is our house, bitch, and Cookie slaps JWoww smack dab in the face. Let the cat fight commence! JWoww with a take down to Cookie and starts slinging her around by the hair on the ring apron, as The Beautiful People then kick Robbie E out of the ring. JWoww's still slinging Cookie around, and The Beautiful People eventually tell her to lay off. She made her point, and they kick Cookie out of the ring as J-Woww's music hits. JWoww poses in the ring a bit with The Beautiful People, as Robbie E and Cookie lick their wounds on the outside and the segment ends.
Eric Bischoff is backstage with Miss Tessmacher, and he comments about how much he likes her pearl necklace in a flirtatious manner. Miss Tessmacher returns the flirtation and asks if she can do anything for him. Eric says there's a lot of things she can do for him, and Miss Tessmacher says lets do it. Eric continues that there's a lot of business to be taken care of tonight, and maybe after the show they can get together at his place and have a little cocktail and see what comes up. Miss Tessmacher asks what time, and Eric says it's that easy, isn't it? Miss Tessmacher asks what he means. Eric says her, it's that easy, isn't it? Miss Tessmacher doesn't know what he's talking about, and Eric says she doesn't know what he's talking about, huh? Well, let him tell her what he's talking about! Let him tell her how easy she is. In fact, he's sure Kevin Nash and Pope know exactly how easy she is. See, she just can't keep her mouth shut, and we hear two long beeps, singling that he's either calling her a slut or a whore. Maybe even a bitch, probably all three. Does she know what she almost cost him by talking to those two guys, sharing information that wasn't supposed to be shared? Does she know what she almost cost him? Miss Tessmacher shudders that she didn't know and she didn't mean- Eric cuts her off and says she didn't think. Cause she's not thinking with her head. So here's what they're gonna do. Him and her, they're done. He can't trust her, and he doesn't want her around. If she wants to be in TNA, she's got one option bitch! Find some boots, throw on some tights, and go sling your ass around with the TNA Knockouts because that's all your good for. She's not running the show with them, she'll be lucky to even be apart of the show. Now her and her 38DD get the hell out of her sight, he's done with her, and Miss Tessmacher runs off, audibly crying.
Wow, what a week it's been for TNA, and what an outing for the TNA Knockouts. Disregard my comments about The Shore from last week's Impact Blowout, because this gimmick has officially taken off! I've gotta say, TNA bringing JWoww into this makes it much more interesting. I actually wouldn't mind if JWoww came back for a PPV match with Cookie. Sources are already saying that TNA wants more of JWoww, and if they play their cards right, this could be a good publicity move for them and could help them up their ratings. There was plenty going on besides JWoww this week though. Madison Rayne is the new TNA Knockouts Champion after making Tara lay down for her in the ring. I stand by what I said last week about Madison's win. When Mickie James said in her Reaction interview that Madison was the current Knockouts Champion, she let it slip who she'd be feuding with for the belt after Bound For Glory. Great job spoiling it, Mickie! But moving on, I'm gonna assure it'll be Mickie vs. Madison at Turning Point, with Tara at ringside, and Mickie will probably win the match by DQ, but not the title. Then, at the next PPV, she'll get the belt. Wow, doesn't that sound like something that's going on in the WWE right now? But again, moving on. Wow, what about Miss Tessmacher getting fired?! I definitely didn't see that one coming, but then, it should have been expected. The question is though is this the last we've seen of Miss Tessmacher in TNA? Only time will tell, but it's worth noting that she's not gonna be on the show next week. At least from what I've read of the spoilers, anyway. All in all, this week's Impact was definitely Knockout heavy. I loved it, and every single segment/match they were in, save the one with Eric Young and Orlando Jordan. I still don't even know why that segment even aired. It's like I commented on youtube: It should have been kept on the cutting room floor. Until next week's show, see ya Bleacher Report readers!