Minnesota Vikings: Brett Favre Leads Photo Finish Over Cowboys (Satire)

Jeffrey BoswellAnalyst IOctober 15, 2010

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 11:  Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings throws a pass against the New York Jets at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 11, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Jets won 29-20. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Dallas @ Minnesota (-1.5)

So did Brett Favre text explicit photos of himself to Jenn Sterger back in 2008 when Favre was a Jet and Sterger was a Jets employee? Did the text come with a message that read "You've got male?" Did Sterger text Favre back, asking "I thought you were big in New York?"

"It doesn't make no never mind to me if Brett sent pictures of himself to her," said Randy Moss. "All I care about is whether Brett can get me the ball. Not via a text message, but on the field."

But I have to know one thing: When Brett took those pictures, were his famous words, "Say dick cheese?"

Anyway, if Brett did, in fact, send those pictures, I can't fault him for anything but his method of delivery. Obviously, when sending pictures of your business, you should utilize the proper social networking channels, such as Facebook, or Tweiner.

"As you know, the Cowboys famously passed on me in the 1998 NFL draft. I've played for three teams in my NFL career, but that has to be the fastest I've ever worn out my welcome."

The 1-3 Cowboys are reeling after a 34-27 loss to the Titans in Dallas, a loss attributable to penalties and turnovers, which have plagued the team all year.

"First of all," said Tony Romo, "I wouldn't think of texting such photos to a female. Oh no, I'm more of a hand-delivery guy. See, our offensive line aren't the only ones with a holding problem."

It's not often fans are treated to a game between the two best 1-3 teams in the NFL, but that's what we've got, and it all goes down in Mall of America Stadium. One team will emerge at 2-3, while the other will tumble to 1-4. Of course, that's assuming there's no tie. If the Vikes have anything to say about it, there won't be a tie. Last Monday's game in the Meadowlands showed us that Minnesota inexplicably goes for the tie in the third quarter, and not the fourth, when it matters.

But there will be no tie. The Vikings unleash their pass rush on a helpless Romo, and Favre, despite his numerous distractions, plays a manly game. After all, he's a Wrangler guy, and let's face it, Romo's a Jordache guy.

Minnesota wins 30-27.