You think you know me.....
Edge moves to Smackdown, declares a war on stupidity and once again does what every superstar needs to do more often—he reinvents himself.
The man hopped from Heel to Face in practically one week and did so by having a fight with a laptop computer. That, my friend, is skill.
Lets look at 10 things we expect to see, hope to see, and demand to see with his current spotlight.
Edge has always been a bit of an anti-hero, even back in the day of E & C as tag team champs. Sure, they may have mocked your city when you were there, but they did it with comedy.
The closest he got to truly being on the dark side was his allegiance with Vickie Guerrero, those dark days when no one enjoyed watching the Rated R Superstar smooch with a self-proclaimed cougar. After all, the images of the beautiful Lita and Edge having their in-ring celebration still danced wonderfully in our heads.
But in a true Face move, when Edge showed up on Friday Night Smackdown, he was introduced by the General Manager Teddy Long. His music hit, out he came through the smoke, and as he soaked in the cheers of the fans, he shook Teddy’s hand. Sporting his sunglasses, he hit the ring and mounted the ropes to allow for that Kodak moment and pose for the fans. He then went on to mock Swagger and his eagle mascot—I know its name, but as I agree with Edge and find it stupid, I’m not writing it here.
What’s humorous is that over on Raw when CM Punk showed up, he also got a huge response and cheers from the crowd for heading back to the Monday night show. To cement his position as a heel, however, he proceeded to beat babyface Evan Bourne to a pulp after he had already received a victory.
Edge has declared war.
All things that are stupid within the WWE are forewarned: digital general managers, eagle mascots, Michael Cole, and apparently scarves. The thing is, there are a lot of stupid things within the WWE. How far will Vince let Edge go with this?
We’ll see, but I see a whole lot of potential feuds brewing for Edge to dive headfirst into.
This move by the WWE is genius. While they could easily read on fansites what we don’t like and then just change it or make it disappear (e.g. the great Khali), they have now given the WWE Universe fans a voice. Edge will be the one to say “apparently the Undertaker's weakness is a flashlight in a vase?” It’s really just a matter of time.
In the following slides, let's look at the upcoming pay-per-views and potential targets of Edge's War on Stupidity.
In 2009, Edge did not get to participate in Survivor Series due to injury; in 2008, he became the World Heavyweight Champion at the event; and the year before that was controversial.
Edge was on the poster but, due to an injury, was not on the card. Alas, this did not stop him. Dressed as a cameraman, Edge pulled the referee away while he was giving a three count to what looked like a sure win for the Undertaker. Edge then proceeded to slam the camera into Taker’s head, dropping him to the steel steps, where Edge then slammed a folding chair across the back of his head. Edge rolled the Undertaker over and draped the beaten Batista on top, allowing The Animal to get the three count and win the World Heavyweight Championship.
After Bragging Rights, it's hard to say which direction Edge will go; will he continue his attacks on Swagger or will he move on to his next "stupid target?
The next target is…
Dolph is currently the Intercontinental Champion and involved in a bizarre relationship with Vickie Guerrero. This seems all too familiar. Like Edge pointed out of Miz, Ziggler falls into that category of an Edge wannabe.
I expect him to go after Ziggler and, first, try to persuade him, telling him that it’s stupid to fake this relationship; that Dolph is a halfway decent wrestler who could do much, much better; and that he should leave the hellcat before she drags him down the same way she dragged Edge down.
Of course, Ziggler will refuse, but then maybe we can see Edge tell him that he’ll prove it by taking his belt to show him that the only reason Vickie is with him is because he’s a champion. Once he steals the belt, the succubus known as Vickie Guerrero will instantly run from his side.
This would get Vickie off television—thank God—and move us on to our next pay-per-view and our next target of stupidity.
If Hell in a Cell is considered the Undertaker’s playground, then TLC matches are Edge’s classroom.
No one, not any one, does it like he does. Not Christian, not Matt, not Jeff or the Dudleys pull off this match better than Edge. The others all participated in the classic feuds that birthed this match, but Edge owned it.
He has defeated both Ric Flair and the Undertaker in singles competition, losing only once to John Cena in his hometown of Toronto, Ontario, when Edge was thrown from the top of the ladder through two tables to the ground below. Cena stood atop the ladder in complete disbelief of what he just did and even somewhat reluctantly removed the belt from the dangling rope above.
Whomever Edge faces at the upcoming TLC pay-per-view should realize that if you want to beat him in this match, you have to just about kill him.
This may be his next target in the War on Stupid…
At the last pay-per-view, we got a taste of the two of them going back and forth on the mic, and we saw the energy that was happening, obviously building towards something.
I’m becoming a fan of Alberto. I see him being very similar to the late, great Eddie Guerrero in his mannerism, his moves—he even sounds like him a bit. A battle with Edge has amazing possibilities. Their skill sets match nicely, and I see them putting on strong, solid matches with back-and-forths as quick and slamming as their work on the mic.
Alberto could be Edge's opponent for TLC and win the IC belt, putting gold around the waist of Alberto and moving Edge on to the heavyweight title—or at least to the next big pay-per-view, which is one of my personal favorites…
Edge was the 2010 Royal Rumble winner. Returning from an injury and sporting a giant caveman beard, he ran to the ring, first eliminating his eventual Wrestlemania opponent Chris Jericho, and then surviving to the end.
But can our Rated R Superstar win the Royal Rumble two times in a row? Sounds like a feat that is impossible, but it has been done three other times.
1990 and 1991 were won by the immortal Hulk Hogan.
1995 and 1996 were won by the legend Shawn Michaels HBK
1997 and 1998 were won by the icon Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Does Edge have the chops to stand among those three? Hard to say. These days, you would think a challenge like that could only be beaten by John Cena or Triple H.
Speaking of those two, this year's Royal Rumble takes place in Boston, Massachusetts, the home state of Mr. John Cena. It is very possible that Beantown may see the franchise player once again win a Royal Rumble, if he is not dethroned by a returning Triple H.
But the question is, who will be the Heavyweight Champion come 2011? My guess is…
Kane retains his title to the end of the year, giving him a nice long run, and puts a good ending to the Undertaker battle, setting the stage for an old nemesis, Edge.
We all recall that Kane and Lita at one point actually had a thing; a marriage, a baby, and partnership where they went after Trish Stratus. Lita turned on Kane and sided with Edge, however, bringing Lita truly to the dark side and bringing us some of the greatest outfits ever worn by a valet who escorted a wrestler to the ring.
Let’s bring Lita back for a month or so, have her come on by and mess with Kane’s head, with Edge behind it all. Maybe we can even have the NXT rookie A.J. put some red in her hair, wear the Lita punk style of clothing, and do a run-in to see if she can distract Kane.
Edge works well with a female counterpart. Taking one of the NXT rookies and partnering her up with Edge would give some credibility to a new Diva, especially one coming in from a show that didn’t do well on television.
From here, we defeat Kane and move on as the Heavyweight Champion to our next pay-per-view.
Six men enter, one man leaves champion. Edge has won an Elimination Chamber match in the past; in 2009, he walked out the winner amongst John Cena, Chris Jericho, Kane, Rey Mysterio and Mike Knox.
This Elimination Chamber would consist of Edge as champion, Alberto De Rio (gunning for Edge), Kane (also gunning for Edge), Dolph Ziggler (with Edge history), Jack Swagger (his first War on Stupidity) victim, and one more person.
Each of the four would have a personal problem with Edge. They could build up how each one can’t wait to get into the chamber with Edge and take the title.
But one person, whom Edge would actually help qualify for the match, would be his ace in the hole to assure that he doesn’t get totally destroyed within the chamber walls. In the end, after a grueling match and in true Edge fashion, he’d turn on his helper, eliminate them and laugh while he clutched on to his title.
The man who thought he could trust him and backed him up in the Chamber, giving him a true shot at the Heavyweight Championship, is Edge's next feud, taking him all the way into Wrestlemania…
The members of one of the greatest tag teams of all time end up at war with one another, and finally, it’s for the gold and on the grandest stage of them all.
The dynamic on the microphone would be unparalleled, the shots back and forth claiming who carried who over the years. A battle of "brothers" and the destruction of the Franchise that was Edge and Christian, created 13 years ago. This match would be just as important to watch as whomever was taking on Undertaker's streak. Knowing how each of them work and how they work together, they would tear down the house.
Who’s the face and who’s the heel? Who walks out alive? What would be the stipulation? So many possibilities and the greatest winners of all would be us, the fans.
We want this, it needs to happen.
Edge, you've been getting on the mic week after week and being the voice of the WWE Universe. Feel free to send them the link to this page and we can go from there.
I'll contact my good friend and fellow Twitterer Chris Jericho and see what he can do.
For those currently employed at the WWE, you can contact me through my site www.theboompage.com. I’d be more than happy to help script all this out and allow our man Edge to dominate the WWE on Smackdown for at least the next five months.
Call me, let’s make this happen.
Comments? New fans? Loving adoration? Let make it happen Bleacher—shout out how much you like this and want it to happen.