Just Enough: Why The Phillies Dynasty Has No Chance Against The 2010 Giants

Moose .Correspondent IOctober 14, 2010

SAN FRANCISCO - APRIL 28:  Ryan Howard #6 of the Philadelphia Phillies tags out Tim Lincecum #55 of the San Francisco Giants on a sacrafice in the ninth inning during an MLB game at AT&T Park on April 28, 2010 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

If I were a Phillies fan, I'm sure I'd be chiming in with the rest of, um Phillie Nation (?) by predicting a Phillie sweep, or certainly our Phils won't need more than 5 games to to dismiss these sad sack, lucky to be here, happy to be here, overachieving Giants.  And sure, on paper, the Phillies look way better than the Giants. I'm not so sure that 8 or 10 National League teams don't look better on paper than the Giants!

Normally, since I view my self as being pretty objective, I would explain why the Phillies can beat the Giants, but you guys have enough of that already (and very well, I might add!). I bet you're looking for somebody that has the magic formula that will take the Phillie machine down. If only to dismantle it before Saturday.

I'm not going to make any predictions or anything, and I didn't vote on any local newspaper poll, so if anyone picked a Giants sweep, it wasn't me. Honest.

Here's what your Phillies need to look out for. Keep in mind that none of this is inside information, so don't be copying this and sending it to Charlie Manuel. He won't care.

Some of you have said that the Phillies pitchers will neutralize the Giants bats. That won't happen (I know that sounds like a prediction, but bear with me). The Giants don't have any bats. They got nothing. Every once in a while, though, somebody will accidentally run into one - not a mistake, but a perfectly thrown low and outside slider or something - and knock it out of the park. Usually this happens after somebody like Sandoval or Uribe (who swing at EVERYTHING) walk. The Giants pitchers will game plan and lose sleep over the likes of Utley, Howard, Victorino, and Werth. Halladay, Oswalt, and Hamels, on the other hand, should be sleeping like babies. Not in their wildest dreams will the Giants hitters get lucky, but they might.

What else? Let's see, you've probably seen that the Giants have committed relatively few errors. Then you'll take a look around and say, I know why. These guys can't move!! They can't miss what they can't touch. Look at them. Sandoval at third has a promising career path in  sumo wrestling. Fortunately, he's got Uribe next to him and and he's got the range of a built-in oven. Sanchez at second is probably known better to you guys than to Giants fans. He's been injured most of the time and just smashed his finger in the division series. It's probably about the size of a grapefruit and I doubt if he can throw. Huff at first, well, he was a DH in the American League, but we love him - he's a gamer. Looking at the outfield, we've got Burrell in left and you know all about him. He couldn't catch a cold if he fell out of a boat! Torres in center field has been released more times than a brook trout in a Sierra Club protected mountain lake. He's 32 and getting his first taste of a full time Major League starting gig. They said he had appendicitis in early September, but the truth is he was just plumb wore out from playing in between Burrell and Jose Guillen. Now we have Cody Ross in right. you know him. The Giants only have him because they didn't want the Padres to get him when he was waived by the Marlins. When asked how he came to the Giants, he says, "I don't know and I don't care."

Now at catcher we have our real prize, Buster Posey. He's been catching for months and he's got it down pat. If you can get over his brashness and his trash talking all the hitters doesn't bother them, the Phils will be fine.

Now about the pitching. You've probably heard of them. You've got H20 (I finally found out today what that meant! Clever, very clever.). We have LCS (Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez). That should scare you very much. While your guys are watching their pitches sail into the H20 of the San Francisco Bay, ours are planning on sailing through the LCS, so Buster can get a little more mentoring from Bengie Molina. That wasn't a prediction either, just letting you know of our plans.

I thinking I've pretty well covered everything but the intangibles, and that might take a while because they are, well, intangible. Our guys are just crazy and dumb enough to pull this off in spite of the odds, in spite of the greatness of the Phillies, in spite of all that experience in the post season.

Oh yeah, one last thing about experience. 

I guarantee (this IS a prediction) that Roy Halladay will not fare as well against the Giants (now that he has post season experience) as he did against the Reds (when he had no post season experience).