The Spurs and the Lakers have at least three absolutes in common:
1. Two cities with large Mexican-American populations.
2. Inez Saenz has been in both locker rooms—one at a time.
3. The Lakers always sweep the Spurs in the NBA playoffs.
The honeys in these two cities have been mentioned as being some of the most beautiful women in the world. I have been to both places, and I know that is absolutely not true.
However, since San Antonio makes the nation’s fattest cities' top 10 quite often, approach with caution my brother.
Marilyn the Moo and Billy the Bull are lurking.
Nobody famous goes to San Antonio Spurs games.
At all. Ever. Except for Marilyn the Moo.
Sometimes the Purrs don’t even show up.
Laker hotties …
Halle “Baps” Berry, Cameron “I don’t need no stinking makeup” Diaz, Maria “Sasha’s Girl” Sharapova, Paris “It ain’t coke in my purse” Hilton, The Khardashian sisters. Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria (closet Lakers fan).
Walk it like a dog.
I once saw Halle Berry standing next to ESPN analyst and Dancing With the Stars stud-muffy Erin Andrews, and Halle made Erin look average—if that is even possible.
Watch the Great Lake roll like the Jelly (Roll Morton for you classic jazz enthusiasts out there):