A Roundup of Worthless Cal Football Predictions

Avinash Kunnath by Columnist Written on August 18, 2008
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Lots of varying predictions about what Cal’s season is going to look like only confirm one thing: Someone on this list is going to look damned stupid.

Phil Steele already set the bar by ranking Cal No. 2 in the conference, certainly above most normal expectations.  However, he also had Cal No. 5 last season, which was as close as any mainstream pundit got to the final outcome.  So as they say about fortune and boldness...

Meanwhile, here are everyone else’s predictions.

 

SI’s great powers of prediction allowed them to do the smartest possible thing: They simply put out a list of the 119 Division I teams and ranked them 1 to 119 for 2008.  No objective criteria, no reasoning: just numbers and teams placed next to them.

Cal is ranked right behind Michigan State and even further behind Maryland (MARYLAND?), which makes me wonder if they’re just recapping 2007 performances or really looking at 2008.

I wish I had the time to just compile a list of best college football journalists and do the same thing.  I’m sure Stu Mandel’s place on the list will inspire about as much feigned interest as this one.

 

Of all the projections about Cal’s season from mainstream outlets, the Los Angeles Times comes the closest to nailing the reasons we will succeed this year:

"Full disclosure: Cal was not in the top 25 mix until former two-sport Bears star Tony Gonzalez saved a man’s life at a Huntington Beach restaurant last month.

"Sometimes it takes heroics to move a school up in the ratings.

"Or, sometimes it just takes the setup line Gonzalez provided for a school that otherwise was going to check in at No. 30-something...

"'Where was Gonzalez last year when Cal football needed the Heimlich maneuver?'"

No doubt that Tony Gonzalez will be flown straight to every Golden Bears game to resuscitate a game that’s slipping away from us.  Only his graceful chest pumps kept his team from falling into obscurity, and they’ll be needed again—only this time he’ll be free to smash helmets open and be proclaimed The One.

 

The New York Times is at its usual self when describing a college football team—exhaustingly thorough.  This is good enough to be the 2008 California Golden Bears wiki page

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written on August 18, 2008 Opinion

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