My Suggestions for Ryder Cup U.S. Captain's Picks

The official point race for Ryder Cup inclusion has officially ended. Because the world's sports snobs hate plaid pants, this is really professional golf's version of the Olympics. 

It's the U.S. against Europe, just like at the U.N. But the teams for Valhalla 2008, as I like to call it, are not quite finalized.

The way it basically works for the U.S. team is that throughout the season, players earn one point for every dollar they win on in official events on tour. An ingenious system.

What could be more fair than using actual money won in events to determine the best players?

Why the FedEx Cup can't figure this out is baffling. Since the Ryder Cup is held every two years, there are also points for the previous season's majors at the same formula, one dollar equals one point. Isn't capitalism divine?

There are two adjustments. Majors count as double and PGA Tour events that are held on the same week as a Major Championship or the WGC Championship do not count. Again, ingenious. Why reward players for not competing against the best players?

Using this method, Kenny Perry received zero points for his T6 finish in the Greater Muirfield John Deere Greensboro Milwaukee Mississippi Memorial Invitational Open presented by Wal Mart in Armpit Illinois or whatever that tournament was opposite the Open Championship.

By the way, Richard S. Johnson, the pro with the swingin'est name on tour, gripped his club and stroked his balls all the way to a win in that tournament. The "S" stands for Snake. What a playa.

Yeah, actually it’s the first I’ve heard of him too.

He won’t be on the either Ryder Cup team, too bad, ladies of Kentucky. Who will be on the U.S. Team are Phil Mickelson, Stewart Cink, Kenny Perry, Jim Furyk, Anthony Kim, Justin Leonard, Ben Curtis and Boo Weekley.

There will be four Captain’s Picks by Paul Azinger. Without predicting who he will pick, because predictions are credibility suicide, I will list who else would be on the team if I were Paul. Let me re-iterate. These are not predictions, they are my choices.

Woody Austin is 10th in line as far as points go, so there would have to be a very compelling reason to snub him. I think Woody is a great pick because of his competitiveness and annoying personality. Both are great for match play.

Pair him against Ian Poulter, who will probably be a captain’s pick for Nick Faldo. This would accomplish the unbelievably disgusting feat of having the two worst dressed professional athletes at opposite ends of the fashion spectrum, on camera at the same time.

My next pick would be Rocco Mediate. I am sure the sponsors and networks are pressuring Azinger to pick him. His personality and ability to hang with the best of them is invaluable. Because of his exposure against Tiger in the U.S. Open, the ratings would go through the roof anytime he played.

Steve Stricker should also be on the team because of the way he is playing lately, but he is a ratings bomb. I don’t think he handles big situations very well and he has the personality of an accountant.

I do care about winning more than ratings, but this is the kind of player Euros beat up in the pub after beating them on the golf course. He will be pretty unpredictable and maybe not used as much as others.

The Final Captain’s pick is a little tougher. There are some fine young players who have very little major championship experience but have won tournaments this season. The Ryder Cup pressure exceeds even the majors, especially this year without Tiger Woods to take away some responsibility. My choice would be Zach Johnson.

He finished the official Ryder Cup points race way down at 16^th, but he deserves another chance to redeem himself and he is a very solid player with Ryder Cup experience. He won a big match two years ago as a rookie and then asked not to compete in the second set of matches that day.

This rubbed some fans and teammates the wrong way. I call it knowing your limits and not getting in over your head. It took more guts to ask not to compete in that situation than it would have to go back out.

So, that’s my team and I really don’t think they will win, but I think they can.