Note that the location is Eastern Time, therefore I'll set the time to Eastern.
8:00 PM- TNA Bound for Glory is underway! Location set for Daytona Beach, Florida.
8:01 PM- Tag Team Championship: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me.
Sorry for not putting this sooner, but I just witnessed 20 minute jaw-dropping total nonstop action. This gave TNA a great name.
Five star tag match between MCMG and Gen Me. Bunch of high-flying sequences. Incredible match if you love high flyers. Vince McMahon, sign these two teams asap. You know what, this could main event Wrestlemania in the future. Oh wait, I'm crazy.
We witnessed 450 splashes, high kicks, and moves that most men just can't do.
8:20 PM- MCMG hits the Skull and Bones combination cross body to get the 3 count.
Winner (and retaining): MCMG
8:30 PM- Four Way TNA Knockouts match between Beautiful people Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky (with Mickie James as guest referee)
Forget the team name, they're all beautiful. If you call fake botox and skimpy outfits beautiful. But, it's good eye candy.
Is this a tag match? Why does it look like it's TBP vs. Rayne and Tara?
Is it just me, or is Madison Rayne just seem like that kind of person who needs to take a nice, long vacation, with an emphasis on long.
Here's another question, why did TNA try to make a Knockout's division even worse than the Diva's division in WWE. Thought that couldn't be feasible. Total Nonstop Borefest with the KO's. At least, they're nice to look at.
8:36 PM- Well, just as I went to get some pizza, the match ended with Tara rolling up Velvet Sky.
Winner (and new champion): Tara
After the match, Madison Rayne (remember that vacation) chewed out Tara for winning. Then Mickie James attacked Madison.
8:40 PM- Tag Team match: Orlando Jordan (don't get me started) and Eric Young (see Orlando) vs. Ink Inc.
The crowd apparently loves Eric Young. Eric Young and Orlando Jordan can no longer produce kids after Ink Inc put their legs through the ropes. If Young and Jordan were "They" then I'd never watch TNA again.
There's a Spanish and a German broadcasting team? So Dixie Carter can afford Spanish and German broadcasting teams yet pay KO's the minimum wage?
Eric Young is assaulting Orlando Jordan!
Thank God this match is over. Is Eric Young a member of Ink Inc?
8:48 PM- Winner: Ink Inc.
After the match, there was some time of awkwardness. No need to say more.
8:49 PM- Jeff Hardy is interviewed now. He says he'll hit someone with a twist of fate then a Swanton.
8:50 PM- X Division Title Match: Jay Lethal vs. Douglas Williams
Mike Tenay and Taz are talking about how Doug is a "mat wrestler" and Lethal is a "high risk taker". Well I paraphrased it but the bigger comparison is, why would a name like Douglas Williams intimidate a man called Jay Lethal?
A bigger question is, why is Douglas Williams in Fortune? Does Ric Flair even remember that Douglas is on Fortune? Does anybody remember that? Am I asking too many questions?
Moral of the story of the match is this, don't try to be something you're not. Douglas Williams just tried to hit a hurricanrada off the top rope on Lethal but Lethal reversed it for a 3 count.
9:00 PM: Winner (and retaining): Jay Lethal
The Jersey shore guy just jumped Jay Lethal. Two Jersey guys going at it. Was that an RKO we just saw? Where's Randy Orton punting Jersey shore guy in the head? Oh wait, wrong show.
6:08 PM- Abyss cuts a promo on "They", destruction of RVD, etc on 10/10/10. Now I'll let the match start and stop blogging until RVD wins. Whoops, got my predictions in.
6:09 PM- Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam in a Monster's Ball Match (street fight)
"This is awesome!" The fans chant. But my dad just said it best, RVD is about to be "dead dead dead!" It's a brutal business for sure. Violence is not the answer Abyss and RVD. Well actually yes it is!
Bigger question who would win in a match: Dick Cheney while quail hunting or Abyss?
Stop the showboating Rob. You just missed the 5 star frog splash because of that.
It's Janice time! RVD and Janice just had an affair. Abyss gets nailed and gets hit with the 5 star frog splash.
6:22 PM- Winner: RVD
No sign of "They" yet.
Eight minutes of boring interviews ensues with Sting and Jeff Jarrett.
9:30 PM- Handicap Match: Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting, Kevin Nash, and the Pope
Out of protest, I refuse to commentate on this match. I'll show you the winner only.
Ok, ok, ok, I'll do it. All right, we've got a guy who should have a shirt on (Joe), a guy who should just focus on his backstage stuff (Jarrett), a man who has gray hair (Kevin Nash), a guy so out of shape that he must wear a shirt (Sting), and a guy who should focus on the entire Roman Catholic church (Pope).
All I can say is the fans cheered for Nash, Sting, and Pope. Maybe they don't like Jeff or Joe, just saying TNA.
Jeff Jarrett betrayed Samoa Joe! He turned bad! Yes! WCW wins!
9:37 PM- Winner: Kevin Nash, Sting, and the Pope
9:38 PM- Our favorite asshole is apologizing to anybody associated with Angle for prematurely ending Kurt Angle's career.
Halftime! Here's a quick recap. The MCMG and Generation Me put on a 5 star match leading off. Then, Tara won the Knockout's Belt. Jay Lethal retained his X Division belt. Oh I skipped Eric Young and Orla- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I SKIPPED THAT TAG TEAM MATCH!!!
Dudley Boys are now cutting a promo.
9:45 PM- Team 3D just officially retired.
Second greatest tag team of all time, behind Eric Young and Orlando Jordan of course. Team 3D just challenged the Motor City Machine Guns for the Tag titles as their retirement match. When will this be again?
9:48 PM- Here we come: old age pensioners vs. "fortunate" guys in their prime.
Fortune cuts a quality promo.
9:53 PM- the match starts. I'll just say it becomes a bloodbath and EV 2.0 is more washed up than Joe Paterno, Lute Olson, and Bobby Bowden combined.
Looks like the fans are confused. Fortune appears to be the face group in their eyes.
Tommy Dreamer is suffering from blood loss. Thankfully he hasn't suffered from ego loss.
I will let you know who wins.
10:14 PM- The roof is down! The real fun begins. I meant Flair and Foley are fighting again.
Now here is a question I've always wondered. Why doesn't anybody use guns? I mean, that would win you the match. Forget a chair, just bring an AK-47.
10:20 PM- Tommy Dreamer hits the Dreamer drive on AJ Styles to win it for EV 2.0.
Winner: EV 2.0
10:25 PM- Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson
Well, I'll let the match talk for me. I'll shut up until there is a winner.
What! Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan come out!
They are interrupting this match! Are they "They?" What in the blue hell is going on?
Jeff Hardy turned bad! He turned heel! What an ending!
Winner (and new champion): Jeff Hardy
God you are great, all the time! All the time! You are good!
It's the NWO!!!!!!!
"They" are Hulk Hogan, Jeff Hardy, Jeff Jarrett, and Eric Bischoff!
Incredible ending. Trash thrown all over the place. Shades of WCW Bash at the Beach!
Thanks for checking out my live blog. It was worth the $45 given the shocking ending.