NBA All-Thug Team
NBA players have committed their fair share of crimes, but some of them rise above the rest. These fourteen slides will present to you a good roster of players who've had past run-ins with the law. You'll notice that outside of one guy, I didn't use players whose sole crime is drug related, which is why Carmelo Anthony isn't on this list. They also had to do more than just get a DUI to make this list because I want real thugs on my team. Finally, you won't find Kobe on this list because who knows if he really did what he was accused of or not. So, without further adieu, here's your current NBA All-Thug team.
Washington Wizards Point Guard Gilbert Arenas
Agent Zero might be the least likely to fit the physical description of a thug, but don't underestimate him. Last year, Arenas brought four guns into the Wizards' arena and then had a stand-off with teammate Jarvis Crittenton. That got him suspended for all of last season and a short stay in jail among other things, but rest assured he will be the face of the franchise...mostly because he's the only one that doesn't have a neck tat.
SG, Stephen Jackson
Jackson is the first of many players on this list to be involved in the Palace Brawl. For his part in that fight he got suspended for 30 days and was forced to serve 60 hours community service. Two years later he was at a night club and, during a brawl, kicked a man with a deformed arm, shot his gun in the air five times, and was hit by a car. Not bad for one night of action. That fight got him 100 more hours of community service and a seven day suspension from the NBA. If nothing else Jackson has proven that when his friends find themselves in a fight he'll always have their back; something that is bound to happen when (and really there is no if involved with this squad) this team decides to fight another team or even the crowd.
Los Angeles Lakers Small Forward Ron Artest
The man behind the Palace Brawl. When he went into the stands looking for a fight, he grabbed himself a 73-game suspension. His rap sheet doesn't end there though. In the years prior, he got in trouble for smashing a $100,000 TV camera and grabbing the mother of his child by the throat. Artest is the "heart" of this team and sets the tone for what they're going to do on, but mostly off the court. Whether it be a fight outside a strip club or just an everyday Wal-Mart robbery, you can be sure that Artest will be there leading the pack.
Memphis Grizzlies Zach Randolph
I'm fairly positive that Z-Bo is trying to sell some stolen guns or marijuana in the provided picture. In all serious though, Randolph makes this list because he's been a criminal ever since he arrived on this Earth. He served three separate 30 day stints in Juvenile Hall for things like shoplifting, possession of stolen guns, and battery. As he got older, Z-Bo's crimes started to go towards the way of drug possession, but I'm fairly certain that he can help teach the teams' young guns the ways of the street.
Denver Nuggets Center Chris Anderson
Birdman doesn't have the kind of charges others on this list do, but he does have the tats. Yes, he looks disgusting, but you can't deny that the man must have some kind of street cred with the citizens of Denver. Plus, he teach the youngsters on the team how to win the dunk contest (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_ksqrFQPgU&feature=related)...oh wait, never mind.
Bench, Michael Beasley
Truth be told, Beasley needs to step up his game if he wants to crack the starting lineup. That said, the front office saw lots of potential in this young thug because he was kicked out of three or four high schools as a teenager. Their banking on him realizing his potential as one of the most gifted thugs in the league and are hoping he'll find a mentor in someone like Zach Randolph or Ron Artest.
Bench, J.R. Smith
Smith's rap sheet isn't that bad. He's had just one incident at a nightclub (which seems to be a right of passage these days) and a few traffic violations. Oh wait, there was that one time when he killed a guy because he was driving recklessly. It was an accident so it's not like he deserves a tear tat, but still he might be the only person on the team who has killed a guy...that we know of.
Bench, Jermaine O'Neal
O'Neal is another one of the Palace Brawl alumni, for which he received a 25-day suspension, as well as some community service. O'Neal is a solid veteran player who will help bring up the youngsters on the team.
Bench, Delonte West
Delonte West is some kind of a magician. When he got pulled over on his motorcycle in 2009, police found two handguns, a Bowie knife, and a shotgun with 116 shells. How he managed to hide all that on a motorcycle is beyond me. The front office brought West in to help the other players learn how to conceal their weapons so maybe they can stay away from suspension.
Bench, Sebastian Telfair
Telfair is one of the players that hopes to learn a bit from Delonte West. He's had two separate charges of gun possession in the past where it seemed like he didn't even think about trying to hide it. I mean he brought a gun onto the team plane, who in the world thinks that's a good idea?
Bench, Jameson Curry
Curry started with lots of promise when he had multiple altercations involving position and distribution of marijuana while in high school. In his later years though, he's become a bit more tame. In 2008, Curry was caught peeing in public and tried to run away from a cop but got arrested. The front office is hoping he could get back to his old ways and capitalize on his potential.
Bench, Al-Farouq Aminu
When Aminu got drafted the team saw a young man who shot at a 34 year old woman in her house. Someone who has that kind of aggression is just what the team is looking for and their hoping that Aminu can realize his potential and become a force in the league for years to come.
Team Scout, Caron Butler
Butler was arrested fifteen times before he turned fifteen for things like possession of crack cocaine and gun possession. He has since cleaned up, but it's safe to say Butler knows how to spot young talent when he sees it from his days as a tween thug.
Assistant Coach, Dennis Rodman
Rodman hasn't really done much outside of beating up a few women, but he will keep things interesting for the fans and really that's what the All-Thug team is all about. Well, that and possibly fighting the fans if circumstances call for it.
Head Coach, Allen Iverson
There's really no one better qualified to coach this team even though he hasn't really been out of the NBA for long (and could come back at some point). I mean the guy was given a fifteen year jail sentence for maiming somebody with a chair at a bowling alley. That charge eventually became a four month sentence, but still he started early. He's also had two separate gun charges, one on 14 counts for storming into his cousin's apartment with a gun that didn't belong to him. Plus, if he ever does want to come back and play, he'll fit right it with this team.
GM, Isiah Thomas
Just as there is only one coach for this team, there is only one GM. There is no better guy to bring in players and also sexually assault the women of the corporate franchise. Perfect.