Kansas City Chiefs: Week Five Picks, How I Want Them and How They'll End Up

John BartramCorrespondent IIOctober 7, 2010

Kansas City Chiefs: Week Five Picks, How I Want Them and How They'll End Up

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    CHICAGO - AUGUST 28: A referee picks up a penalty flag during a preseason game between the Chicago Bears and the Arizona Cardinals during a preseason game at Soldier Field on August 28, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. The Cardinals defeated the Bears 14-9. (Ph
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    I promised myself that I would never do this but is seems that readers really enjoy this stuff.

    Why? Do you want to see how many writers pick against your team?  Do you think all these different people picking know anymore than you?

    Here's a clue, they don't and neither do I.  That's why I'm taking a slightly different approach.

    My concern, however is that I'm learning the average website sports fan doesn't seem to like "different" or humor for some reason. 

    Maybe I'm just not funny?  No, that's not it.  Maybe you don't have a sense of humor?  Yes, that's more likely the case.

    I'm going to pick the games the way I want them to work out, then I will make an actual pick.  This will give you two different areas of both picks to tell me what an idiot I am.

    Lastly, picking without using the point spreads is weak.  Let's begin.

I'm a Homer so Let's Start at Home: Chiefs +7.5 at Indianapolis

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    DENVER - SEPTEMBER 26:  Side judge Jimmy DeBell oversees the action as Perrish Cox #32 of the Denver Broncos breaks up a pass in the end zone intended for Blair White #15 of the Indianapolis Colts at INVESCO Field at Mile High on September 26, 2010 in Den
    Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

    There are many that say they want to see a good game no matter what.  I love seeing great football games too, but not when my team is involved.

    I don't want one second of concern from opening kickoff to the final gun.  I want the Chiefs to simply dismantle the team their playing, in this case the Colts.

    Hope: Chiefs win by 72

    The spread on this started out at 8.5 which I thought was too high.  It's coming down, probably due to the injuries on the Colts.

    Sadly, I think the Colts will win.

    Reality: Chiefs cover but lose a close one.

Denver +7 at Baltimore

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    BALTIMORE - SEPTEMBER 26:  Ray Lewis #52 of the Baltimore Ravens is introduced before the game against the Cleveland Browns  at M&T Bank Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Baltimore, Maryland. The Ravens defeated the Browns 24-17. (Photo by Larry French/Get
    Larry French/Getty Images

    Sometimes the fruit is hanging very low off the tree.  How hard is this one for a Chief fan? 

    Here's a game that not only do I want the Broncos to lose, but I want them to feel like a Mike Tyson opponent in his hey day.  I don't want any player on any team to get injured.  Having the Broncos get the hell beat out of them is totally different.

    Hope: Ravens shut them out, make them contemplate a career change.  Win by 28

    Here's another game that I think the spread is too high.  The Ravens are a great team, but they don't blow anyone away.  The Broncos on the other hand have been a bit of the opposite.  They rack up yards and points, but so far it's not resulting in wins.

    Reality: Ravens win and cover

Jacksonville at Buffalo, Pick

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    ORCHARD PARK, NY - OCTOBER 03: Members of the Buffalo Jills cheeleaders cheer during a timeout between the New York Jets and the Buffalo Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium on October 3, 2010 in Orchard Park, New York. The Jets won 38-14. (Photo by Rick Stewart
    Rick Stewart/Getty Images

    Hope: I could care less.

    Reality:  Eh, let's say Buffalo.  We'll throw them a bone.  They suck but the sun shines on every dogs ass once in a while.

    PS- The photo is the Bill's second team defensive line.

St. Louis +3 at Detroit

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    GREEN BAY, WI - OCTOBER 03: C.C. Brown #39 of the Detroit Lions leaves the field after a loss to the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on October 3, 2010 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Packers defeated the Lions 28-26. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Image
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    Oh boy. Here's one that gets an AFC West fan all worked up.  St. Louis is getting everyone worked up lately because they don't suck as bad as last year.  Let's face it, that would be hard.

    Detroit does. Actually, that's not really fair.  The Lions have been playing pretty well and they'll break through soon, like this Sunday.

    It does seem both team are heading in the right direction.

    Hope:  I guess the Lions win by whatever

    Reality, I guess the Lions win by whatever

Atlanta +3 at Cleveland

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    CLEVELAND, CO - SEPTEMBER 11:  A fan in the Cleveland Browns Dog Pound in the first quarter against the Cincinnati Bengals during the first quarter at Cleveland Browns Stadium on September 11, 2005 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
    Harry How/Getty Images

    Holy crap, I never would have done this if I'd seen the schedule.  How freaking boring!

    OK, this line is ridiculous. I don't care if they're play the whole game inside the "Dog Pound" the Falcons will win by more than 3.

    I wish I had some money, I might go bet this.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah Cleveland has played tough, just beat the Bengals, blah blah.  The Falcons are a far better team.

    Hope:  Falcons by 35 so I don't look like a dumb ass

    Reality:  Falcons win and cover easily

Tampa +6.5 at Cincinnati

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    CHARLOTTE, NC - SEPTEMBER 26:  Terrell Owens #81 of the Cincinnati Bengals against the Carolina Panthers during their game at Bank of America Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
    Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

    There's how important it was for Cleveland to beat the Bengals.  They're still a 6.5 favorite over a 3-1 team.  That's a real slap in the face to Tampa, and Cleveland and Atlanta.

    This is pretty easy for me.  The Bengals are an AFC team and a possible playoff team that the Chiefs will have to slap around later, and their playing out of conference.

    Of course there's the other factor:  TO.  Enough said.

    Hope: Bengals get embarrassed, TO and Oco whatever have one catch between them and pout.

    Reality: Spread is too high.  Bengals win, but Tampa covers.

    (Dudes head is shaped like a football)

Chicago -2.5 at Carolina

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    EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 03:  Olin Kreutz #57 looks at Todd Collins #10 of the Chicago Bears as he lays on the field after getting injured against the New York Giants at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 3, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Pho
    Andrew Burton/Getty Images

    Here's one I would have cared about, but now I don't.  I think Jay Cutler is one of the biggest cry baby, spoiled, overrated obnoxious players in the NFL.  One of them.

    He, however is not playing.  He is not playing because they say he has a concussion.  I think he's afraid to ever walk out on a football field again after what the Giants did to him.

    Hope:  I still hope the Bears get creamed.  He might not be playing, but he's still on the team

    Reality: Carolina is in bad shape and I think the Bears will win and cover

Green Bay -2.5 at Washington

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    GREEN BAY, WI - OCTOBER 03: Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers calls a play in the huddle against the Detroit Lions at Lambeau Field on October 3, 2010 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Packers defeated the Lions 28-26. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    The spread is too low.  Green Bay has not played as well as they can.  Washington has played fairly well.

    Two NFC teams, therefore I have limited interest.

    Hope: Nobody gets hurt?

    Reality: Rogers and the Pack have a big day and win and cover.

NJ Giants +3 at Houston

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    HOUSTON - SEPTEMBER 26:  The Houston Texans cheerleaders perform in the second half during a football game between the Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans at Reliant Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
    Bob Levey/Getty Images

    That's not a mistake up there, they play in New Jersey, NOT New York. There are many of us who live in NJ who would like them to either acknowledge it, or get back over the river.

    Well, at least take the Jets. 

    I can't stand either New Jersey football team.  However, I have two reasons to want the Giants to win this week.

    First, Houston is another one of those teams the Chiefs may have to roll over in the playoffs. 

    Next, the Chiefs do have play them in two weeks.  I would rather they lose this game and win the next so they're not all pissed off like the Colts are.

    I think the line is a little low.  It's probably based on the absolute beat down the Giants gave the Bears.

    Hope: Giants win.  I could care less if they cover.

    Reality:  Not a chance.  Houston will win going away and cover obviously.

New Orleans -6.5 at Arizona

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    NEW ORLEANS - OCTOBER 03:  Drew Brees #9 of the New Orleans Saints looks to throw a pass against the Carolina Panthers at the Louisiana Superdome on October 3, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana.  of the Carolina Panthers   (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Imag
    Chris Graythen/Getty Images

    Ho hum. If they were playing in my back yard I'd go shopping. 

    The spread on this seems a little low. I know the Saints haven't been blowing people away like they did last year.  The loss of Reggie Bush also hurts. 

    Arizona, however, is dreadful.

    Hope: Just don't care

    Reality: Just what Brees needs to get on track.  Saints win and cover.

San Diego -6 at Oakland

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    GLENDALE, AZ - SEPTEMBER 26:  Kicker Sebastian Janikowski #11 of the Oakland Raiders walks off the field after missing the game winning 32 yard field goal against the Arizona Cardinals during the NFL game at the University of Phoenix Stadium on September
    Christian Petersen/Getty Images

    Since both teams are in the AFC West, I have a vested interest in this one.  This is actually easy for me.  The Chargers are clearly more of a threat to the Chiefs (not as much as their fans think) than the Raiders.

    Therefore, mathematically I would want the Raiders to win.  That sentence does not compute in my brain.

    I think the line is fair on this one.  The Chargers are clearly the better team.  The Raiders are the, well Raiders.

    If their best player, Janikowski starts missing 30 yard field goals, they are in deep doo doo.  Also, that was quite a commitment they made to Jason Campbell.  What was it, about eight minutes?

    Hope:  They both lose

    Reality:  The Chargers win and cover

Tennessee +6.5 at Dallas

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    ARLINGTON, TX - AUGUST 12: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders perform during the preseason game between the Dallas Cowboys and Oakland Raiders at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium on August 12, 2010 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
    Tom Pennington/Getty Images

    I'm not a Cowboy therefore I want them to lose, badly.  You are either a fan of the Cowboys, or you can't stand them.

    I believe that is mandated by some sort of federal law.

    I don't think the Cowboys should be a 6.5 favorite over my 11 year olds Pop Warner team, and they've been shut out four of six games.

    Hope:  Cowboys lose every game they ever play, unless it helps my team in the standings

    Reality: My upset special.  Titans win outright.  This is not because I don't like the Cowboys.  There are other teams I dislike WAY more.  We're are just about to get to them.

Philadelphia +3.5 at San Fransisco

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    PHILADELPHIA - OCTOBER 06:  Roy Halladay #34 and Carlos Ruiz #51 of the Philadelphia Phillies celebrate Halladay's no-hitter and the win in Game 1 of the NLDS against the Cincinnati Reds at Citizens Bank Park on October 6, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvan
    Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images

    Well, at least Law and Order is on Sunday Nights.

    There seems to be this theory that desperate teams have a better chance to win games.  I don't buy that.  We as fans may think that makes sense, but I don't think opposing teams do.

    If you are an NFL team, do you play harder because you're 0-2, 0-4 or 3-0?  It so, there is something wrong with the coaching, players or something.

    I live close to Philly and think it's always gotten a bad rap.  It's a great city. Too bad their baseball team sucks and doesn't have any pitching.

    I think if San Fransisco loses the top of Coach Mike's head will pop off.  Better yet, at his press conference we may end up with another great Coors Light commercial.

    Hope:  I haven't seen the Law and Order episode

    Reality: I think San Fransisco gets it done.

Minnesota +4 at the NJ Jets

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    MINNEAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 19:  Linebacker Cameron Wake #91 of the Miami Dolphins forces the ball loose as quarterback Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings drops back to pass during the game on September 19, 2010 at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneap
    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Well, well, well isn't this just chuck full of inside drama for me.  It's hard to know where to begin.

    As previously mentioned, I live in New Jersey, but only about 50 miles south of New York City so I am  in the NY media area.

    Therefore, most of what I hear, watch on television and read locally is in reference to the Jets and Giants.  The Jets fans, as a group have the most distorted, warped view of their football team of any fans I've ever heard.

    This of course does not apply to every Jet fan, but it sure seems like it sometimes.  They come across as though they have a right to the Super Bowl simply because they don't suck anymore. 

    Rex Ryan, who I think is a good coach is also a blow hard.  Revis is a self absorbed, selfish ego maniac who should keep his mouth shut, especially after Randy Moss made him look foolish.

    Revis could have been a multi-millionaire, been in camp on time and shown he was a leader.  He chose not to because he wanted to be the highest paid corner in the league. So instead, he ends up with a pulled hamstring, which he just happened to "tweak" while Moss was blowing by him???

    Isn't life filled with ironies.  Looks like Revis is going to re-injure his hamstring Monday night.

    Now the flip side.  Earlier I had mentioned my disdain for Jay Cutler.  I reserved one spot for a more narcissistic, self absorbed, selfish, jackass of an athlete.  Who could I possibly be talking about?  How about the old fool who couldn't hit the ocean if he were standing on the beach.

    Brett Farve makes LeBron James look like a class act.  I'm not even going to go into everything about this nimrod because it would end up a book.

    Hope:  There are way too many thing for me to hope for in this game, all bad for both teams.  I would like to see Moss torch Revis..........Again.

    Reality:  As much as it pains me, the Jets are a solid team and if Sanchez continues his current play, I'll be barfing over them for a while.  Jets win and cover.

    PS-  Hey numb nuts, aren't you suppose to throw the ball in the other direction?