2008 Season Preview: Birthday Edition

Neil Waechter by Correspondent Written on August 16, 2008
It's my birthday, and I was accidentally awakened far too early, so I have way too much time on my hands. Therefore, I thought I'd take the opportunity to post random thoughts about the upcoming football season.

Because of my new job and my birthday (and a steadt stream of Diet Mountain Dew), I am overly optimistic this morning, so I thought I'd preview the upcoming season through my newfound rose colored glasses while drinking some heavily spiked Kool-Aid (how's that for mixing metaphors?).

2008 Season Preview - Birthday Edition

vs. San Diego State University

The San Diego State Aztecs are bad. Awful. They don't even belong on the same field as the Fightin' Irish.

Notre Dame comes out with an attitude, and kicks SDSU up and down the field. After scoring 5 touchdowns in the first quarter, Weis sent in the second string. After they scored another 2 TDs halfway through the second, Weis sent in all the freshman. On the first down, Crist launched a laser to Floyd, who (sprung by a superb block by Deion Walker), raced for a touchdown. After kneeling the next two possessions, the all-freshman defense got another score to close out the half up 63-0. Rather than coming out for the second half, the team gave their jerseys to the Knott Hall interhall team, who came out and drove 80 yards for another score. The rest of the half saw several interhall teams come onto the field, with mixed results. Dillon Hall scored on a long pass, and Morrissey got a fumble recovery for a TD. Keenan and Siegfried both threw INTs, and Zahm kept getting lost in between the huddle and the ball, resulting in several embarassing delay of game penalties.

SDSU did come up with a huge goal-line stand at the end of the game, when the girls from Farley were stopped just inches from the end zone as time expired.

Prediction: 84-0 Notre Dame

vs. University of Michigan

The Skunkbears and Dick-Rod roll into South Bend after convincing wins against powerhouses Utah and Miami (OH). They have creeped back into the top 10 again, and are heavily favored against the lowly Irish.

Notre Dame loses the toss, and Michigan gets the ball first. Due to a rash of injuries to their QB corps, Dick Rod decides to do without a quarterback, instead direct snapping to the running backs and receivers. At first, things go great for Michigan, and they go up 14-0 early as the Irish offense struggles to move the ball against the Michigan D.

Then Tenuta and Brown decide to put all 11 men in the box, and start calling all-out blitz every down, old school video game style. Mo Crum and Dave Bruton each return a fumble and a tipped pass for a touchdown, and Brandon Minor and Kevin Grady go down with injuries.

Michigan, despite trailing by two touchdowns at the half, comes up with a new strategy. Michigan starts punting the ball on first down, and the Michigan defense actually picks off a Clausen pass and returns it for a score, bringing the Wolverines within 7.

However, with only a couple of minutes remaining in the game, Dick Rod decides to try to run an offense, and calls his team to the sideline to quickly install the A-11 offense
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written on August 16, 2008 Sports

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