How does one wave goodbye to a twenty five year relationship? Well, I suppose you could ask Al and Tipper Gore, but this relationship lacked so much of the profundity of a marriage that I feel vaguely embarrassed to invoke the reference.
For as long as I have been conscious, I have been the walking, breathing epitome of a Miami Dolphins fan. I am resigning my fanship, effective immediately, and I feel I will speak for many disaffected and alienated fans in doing so.
I was born in 1980, the last of "Generation X," and therefore cannot be credited with remembering or enjoying any Dolphins success prior to 1985. However, I had family who liked the Dolphins and I was hooked by Dan Marino's magic.
I watched Dan Marino's prime wasted by horrid defense and non-existent running games. I saw Don Shula retire 5 years too late. I watched as Jimmy Johnson built a good, but not great, defense around Marino, only to discover, much too late, that it was too late for the NFL's greatest pure passer.
Those defenses, like Johnson himself, gave way to the Dave Wannstedt era in Miami.
I cheered when Miami traded picks for Ricky Williams, a player who had and has all the talent to be one of the great runners in league history, were it not for the life circumstances that took him away from football in pursuit of being a better human being. I watched the offense lean on him so extensively that, were it not for the impending suspensions, he would have been out of football by 2007.
I cheered the merciful end of the Wannstedt era, and cheered the coming of Nick Saban to our shortly becoming moribund franchise.
I, like most Dol-fans (current and former) grimaced when Saban chose Daunte Culpepper over Drew Brees in free agency. After all, why go with a guy who has made every throw in college and the NFL versus a clown who's brief NFL career was made by future Hall of Famer Randy Moss?
My hurt and betrayal by Saban was only exacerbated by the hiring of Cam Cameron, and the drafting of Ted Ginn and John Beck. The 1-15 season that followed was only icing on the cake. During that season, I admitted I had had enough, and if the trade rumors had played out which might have sent Ricky Williams to New England, well.... I might be a happy guy tonight.
Three years have passed since Miami hired Bill Parcells. Miami has gone from laughing stock to competitive non competitor (Sound much like the Jets or Cowboys?!) My final straw was broken tonight.
When we signed Brandon Marshall and Karlos Dansby in the offseason, I actually had the audacity to tweet that I was excited enough to buy Madden 11 this year so I could play with a decent Miami squad for the first time since 2003!
Suffice it to say, this team is snake bitten. For every move they make, for every shortcoming they attempt to fix, this team is simply jinxed. And I will no longer tether my emotions to them.
Short of living in Michigan or Ohio, there has been no more consistently miserable existence than being a Dolphins fan since 1985, and I, for one, have had enough.
In my dresser right now, I have Williams, Taylor, Marino, Madison, Thomas, Chambers, and Brown jerseys. Enough is enough. If our most talented team in 15 years can't win either of two home divisional games in prime time, they are no longer deserving of my money or my fanship.
I will always root for the Dolphins, but tonight is the night I stopped caring about them. Take note, Stephen Ross. Consider me unimpressed with the addition of Anthony, Lopez, Buffet, and the like... Also consider my season tickets canceled.