Pariots-Dolphins Preview: New England Gets "Henne-Pecked" and "Pussy-Whipped"

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Pariots-Dolphins Preview: New England Gets
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Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

New England @ Miami (+1)

After a 38-30 win over the Bills, it's apparent that the Patriots are living by the adage that "a good offense is the best defense." And it's true. In the 91:38 the Patriots offense has had possession of the ball, they have yet to surrender a touchdown.

"Talk about efficiency," Tom Brady said. "But our defense is a resilient bunch, and I'm sure Bill Belichick will devise a scheme to handle Miami's offensive weapons. The Patriots have a habit of finding ways to win, even in their darkest hours. But we know the 'tuck rule' can't save us again, so we can only hope for another miracle."

While Monday's game is by no means a must-win situation, a loss by the Dolphins would saddle them with home losses against their two main AFC East competitors. Against the Patriots, pressuring Tom Brady will be imperative if the Fins are to record their second AFC East win.

"Brady is willing to stand strong in the pocket," Tony Sparano said. "I admire his courage, and the length of his hair. I'm amazed that people think Brady is henpecked just because his wife likes his hair long. Now, if Brady shows up in capri pants and a tube top, then we should worry."

Brady throws for 3 touchdowns, but in the end, the sketchy Patriots defense is overcome by Miami's "Wildcat" offensive set, just another testament to the notion that Brady is "pussy-whipped."

Miami wins, 27-24.

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