In a Parallel Universe Bills, Boston, and Others Reign Supreme

Ben HornerCorrespondent IAugust 14, 2008

A while back ESPN ran a bit on Sportscenter about what happens to the championship paraphernelia of teams that don't win the title.  In case you were unaware, leagues have sets of t-shirts, hats, sweatshirts, etc. made for each team.  The winner gets his stuff brought out for the celebration and the loser's sits in a back room in the catacombs of the stadium.

Apparently, the NFL donates the inaccurate goods to needy countries in Africa, Asia, and South America.  I think that is great.  It kills two birds with one stone, getting rid of the mislabeled merchandise, and helps clothe people who otherwise have very little.

That being said, I started thinking about what those people think about American sports.  These people think the opposite of everything that has happened since the program started.  In turn, I started thinking of it like a parallel sports universe, and what they think happened over the years in American sports.


Scott Norwood is a god in Buffalo and was given a key to the city.

Dan Marino doesn't have a chip on his shoulder about never winning a ring.

The Yankees and Canadiens are two of pro sport's least succesful franchises.

There never was a Curse on the Red Sox, Cubs, or New York Rangers.

Bill Walsh never did a thing for the 49ers.

Kobe proved he could win a title sans Shaq.

The Patriots are football's greatest team ever.

John Calipari brought a title to Memphis.

Coach K doesn't even exist.

Sid the Kid is one of the youngest players to ever captain his team to a Stanley Cup.

There is still no Manning that has won anything.

The Braves were the team of the 1990s.

Philadelphia isn't the bitterest sports city ever because their teams win (not to bash Philly but come on, who really throws snowballs at Santa? I'm a Jew and not even I would do that).


There are definitely more, so if you think I've missed an important one let me know in the comment section.  Sound off.