Liver's NFL Picks of the Week: Cowboys over Giants

Is it just the Liver who gets a guilty feeling every time he hears the word "flex" now? The girlfriend certainly doesn't like it. It's bad enough that the Liver has to keep track of ALL THE GAMES because of point spreads—now he has to throw out "Sweetheart, I can’t go to your parents house this weekend, the flex game is on Sunday night." Too bad the Liver can't flex his girlfriend to the offseason, when he might have some use for her besides victory sex when the Cowboys and Longhorns win and pity sex when they lose.

Did the Liver mention that he has commitment issues?

Anyway, what a week, what a week. Jake Plummer gets benched for Jay Cutler? Check. Michael Irvin apologizes for saying that Tony Romo has some “slave blood” in him? Check. Plaxico Burress pulls a Randy Moss and quits on a play that leads to an interception by Pacman Jones in the fourth quarter of the Giants loss? Check. EVERYBODY on the Giants calls each other out? Check. Vince Young is still the Liver's hero? Check. Mike Vanderjagt gets cut and is replaced by Martin Grammatica? Check. Tony Romo continues to make the Liver believe that God has taken a more hands-on approach to His football team? Check. The Liver wishes that Bevo had taken a shit on Paul "Let me tell you something" Maguire during the UT-A&M game? Check. The Dallas Mavericks might be able to finish in 2007 what they couldn’t in 2006? Check.

This really is the most wonderful time of the year. Too bad there’s only one month left of it.

Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY.  Only Michael Richards, Michael Irvin, Joe Namath, Mel Gibson, all the players and coaches of the New York football Giants, Mike Vanderjagt, and Jake Plummer would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver’s picks.

Last week’s record: 10-6

2006 Record against the Spread: 82-88-6

Sunday, December 3rd

Arizona (+6 ½) at St. Louis

St. Louis ended a five-game losing streak last week by beating a a hot 49ers team. Only in the NFC can you be 5-6 and pretend to still be in the playoff hunt. At 2-9, on the other hand, Arizona can't even pretend that they're a football team. Matt “Flower in the Mouth” Leinart said this week he’d love for Pete Carroll to come coach the Cardinals. I’m sure that made Dennis Green’s year. Hey Edgerrin James, how’s your season going, mercenary? Pick: Arizona

Atlanta (+2) at Washington

The wheels have just about fallen off of the Falcons bus. As if losing four in a row isn’t bad enough, Michael Vick flipped off his own fans after the game last week. Is it just me or did I see Jim Mora wearing a “I Love Matt” shirt at the postgame press conference? One more loss and you might see him. The Pigs of D.C. got Jason Campbell his first win with an impressive performance against a helter-skelter Panthers team. The defense played its first great game of the year, and the 'Skins ran the ball effectively with Ladell Betts. If they can do it again this week, the Falcons could be looking at five in a row—and Mora might be out of a job at the end of the season. By the way, it’s not Michael Vick’s fault that his receivers couldn't catch a ball if you superglued their hands to it. You’d think it was Terrell Owens playing out there. Oh wait, he plays for the Cowboys. Damn. Pick: Washington

Detroit (+13 ½) at New England

Who didn’t root for Joey Harrington on Thanksgiving? The Lions

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?