Is it just the Liver who gets a guilty feeling every time he hears the word "flex" now? The girlfriend certainly doesn't like it. It's bad enough that the Liver has to keep track of ALL THE GAMES because of point spreads—now he has to throw out "Sweetheart, I can’t go to your parents house this weekend, the flex game is on Sunday night." Too bad the Liver can't flex his girlfriend to the offseason, when he might have some use for her besides victory sex when the Cowboys and Longhorns win and pity sex when they lose.Did the Liver mention that he has commitment issues?
Anyway, what a week, what a week. Jake Plummer gets benched for Jay Cutler? Check. Michael Irvin apologizes for saying that Tony Romo has some “slave blood” in him? Check. Plaxico Burress pulls a Randy Moss and quits on a play that leads to an interception by Pacman Jones in the fourth quarter of the Giants loss? Check. EVERYBODY on the Giants calls each other out? Check. Vince Young is still the Liver's hero? Check. Mike Vanderjagt gets cut and is replaced by Martin Grammatica? Check. Tony Romo continues to make the Liver believe that God has taken a more hands-on approach to His football team? Check. The Liver wishes that Bevo had taken a shit on Paul "Let me tell you something" Maguire during the UT-A&M game? Check. The Dallas Mavericks might be able to finish in 2007 what they couldn’t in 2006? Check.
This really is the most wonderful time of the year. Too bad there’s only one month left of it.
Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. Only Michael Richards, Michael Irvin, Joe Namath, Mel Gibson, all the players and coaches of the New York football Giants, Mike Vanderjagt, and Jake Plummer would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver’s picks.
Last week’s record: 10-6
2006 Record against the Spread: 82-88-6
Sunday, December 3rd
Arizona (+6 ½) at St. Louis
St. Louis ended a five-game losing streak last week by beating a a hot 49ers team. Only in the NFC can you be 5-6 and pretend to still be in the playoff hunt. At 2-9, on the other hand, Arizona can't even pretend that they're a football team. Matt “Flower in the Mouth” Leinart said this week he’d love for Pete Carroll to come coach the Cardinals. I’m sure that made Dennis Green’s year. Hey Edgerrin James, how’s your season going, mercenary? Pick: Arizona
Atlanta (+2) at Washington





5 comments Last one added over 2 years ago — Leave a Comment
Andrew C over 2 years ago
No way the Cowboys beat the G-Men in the Meadowlands. Look for Tony Romo's true colors to come out today (he's a fraud). And "Pound the shit" out of the Giants? You must be thinking it's 12-13 years ago when the Cowboys were still relevant. Look for the Giants to overcome adversity to remind the pro football world that Romo's a fake and Parcells is WAY past his prime. Prediction: Giants:24 Cowgirls:14
Edit Comment Cancel
Anonymous over 2 years ago
who runs this site? don't you understand the point of a "picks" column is to help people make bets, and to do so they need to be published at least a day in advance, and more appropriately on Friday? otherwise, what's the point? these games are ALREADY HAPPENING!!
Edit Comment Cancel
Mike Eagan over 2 years ago
I read these picks last night - and thanks to Bodog, you can bet at any time you want.
Edit Comment Cancel
Joe Cottage over 2 years ago
or should Gamblor maybe check the site before Sunday if he wants to read the Liver's picks when they get posted? And by the way: Sweet Simpsons reference, champ. Think we might be a little old for cartoons?
Edit Comment Cancel
Anonymous over 2 years ago
Wait -- I vaguely remember Homer screaming about a guy named 'gamblor' who is taking over Marge's body or something... was that from the Marge = Gambling addict episode? Put that in the list of references I would have never again thought of without some cajoling.
Edit Comment Cancel
Leave a Comment
You must register to post a comment.