Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Cleveland @ Baltimore (-11)
The 1-1 Ravens can take comfort in their first home game this year, as well as the fact that ten points will probably be enough to beat the Browns, likely by 10 points, this Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium. The sturdy Ravens defense, always a given, has held the Jets and Bengals to nine and 15 points, respectively, but the offense has sputtered, scoring 10 in each game.
"We'd be in business," said Ray Lewis, "if football, like boxing, was scored on the 10-point must system. But it's not. But we darn sure seem to get penalized for fouls. We were docked six points by the officials last Sunday on calls that led to Bengals field goals. I was called for tripping when I was blocked in to Carson Palmer, and Terrell Suggs was penalized for roughing Palmer.
We've been there before, Tom Brady, and it seems there's a bias by the referees against the Ravens. We call those 'BS' calls, because there's a decided 'Baltimore slant' to them."
The Ravens score 10 points, somehow on their first possession, and Joe Flacco tosses an interception-free game, with two passing scores, one each to Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin. Lewis caps the scoring with a fumble return to paydirt.
Baltimore wins, 26-3.