Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
New Orleans @ San Francisco (+4½)
A sobering 31-6 loss in Seattle left the 49ers asking, "what happened?" And head coach Mike Singletary has no answers, although he's been trying to underplay the 49er playoff hype with a rap called "The Super Bowl Muffle."
"There was a time when the corner of Haight and Ashbury defined San Francisco," Singletary said. "After our performance last Sunday, the intersection of 'Drawing Board' and 'Square One' is the place to be. Because that's where we will be."
I'm certainly disappointed in our performance. Our fans were expecting big things this year, and we still plan on delivering. I understand they had faith in us. Let's just hope San Francisco rockers 'Faith No More' aren't scheduled to perform the national anthem before Monday night's game."
The Saints are 1-0 after a 14-9 win over the Vikings in a surprising defensive slugfest. Drew Brees and the Saints will have their work cut out against a 49er team that will be fired up to play the defending Super Bowl champs on Monday night.
"I'm saddened that Reggie Bush had to return his Heisman Trophy," Brees said. "It seems that the Heisman committee wanted Bush to strike a 'pose' from their list of winners. But Reggie's got a lot going for him. What other Heisman winner can say they've won a Super Bowl and have been intimate with Kim Kardashian? Besides Jim Plunkett?"
The Saints, behind Brees' 245 yards through the air, nip the inspired 49ers on Garrett Hartley's late field goal.
New Orleans wins, 27-24.