Good Riddance: Jose Mourinho Won't Manage England

Well, at least I'm happy.

I didn't think Jose Mourinho was special when he was at Porto, nor at Chelsea—and now I can cheerily confirm that he won't be managing England.

So goodbye Jose, please don't come back...otherwise this sportswriter risks getting the sack.

Seriously though—who on Earth thought Mourinho-to-England would be a good idea?

Brian Barwick did, for one—even though it was obvious that Mourinho was only feigning interest in the England post with the hope that a club would snap him up first.

As it stands, the entire spectacle has been a farce of epic proportions—and I for one can't believe we aren't clamouring for Barwick's head.

First the FA hire an inept manager (cue Steve McClaren), then they proceed to romp around the world in search of a replacement—like a clumsy English bull in a china shop.

Yes, by all means, scour the globe for a world-class manager. You'll find plenty, but none that can handle the England team.

Sven-Goran Erikkson didn't impress me, and neither will any foreign manager. FACT: No country has ever won a a World Cup with a foreign manager—and yes, Luiz Felipe Scolari is Brazilian, not Portuguese, as so many people seem to think.

You all know my views: If anyone should be England manager, it's Alan Curbishley. That said, there are other good candidates, including Sam Allardyce and Stuart Pearce.

(And really, why not just promote the entire U21 squad to the National Team? They'd play with more passion and cohesion, at any rate.)

Of course it's not up to me—it's up to Barwick and the rest of the brainless FA. Thank God for Sir Trevor Brooking, who may be the one sensible voice in a sea of idiocy.

Unfortunately, I fear Brooking will go unheard.

In any event, this shall be my last word on the subject before 2008. I'm finally beyond caring whom the FA appoints, because it won't change the bottom line:

The FA are incompetent, and England won't be at Euro 2008.

And on that note...Merry Christmas, football fans. May the New Year bring all of us better fortune.

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?