Calvin Johnson Should Be Shot and Other NFL Week 1 Musings
No, Calvin Johnson shouldn't actually be shot. Just beaten with a bat or some form of lead pipe, I guess. Tire iron, maybe. Or some sort of 2x4 with nails, also a good option.
It's not that stupendously grotesque rule that cost Calvin and the Lions their rightful victory Sunday. No, that hideous, vicious, twisted subversion of logic, reason, nature, truth, justice, and the American way should have never entered the frame of consciousness.
While that ridiculous, moronic, half-baked idea should be burned from the rule book and forever forgotten, it is a rule for now.
Take this instance from last season, when Louis Murphy made a catch that walked like a touchdown, swam like a touchdown, and quacked like a touchdown - and make sure to enjoy the conspiracy theorist Raiders fan/uploader showing a New England touchdown that could've been ruled an incompletion.
Some people never forget Paris and Raiders fans will never forget the "Tuck Game".
Murphy's play was the more egregious case of the rulebook running wild and negating what was right. Two feet down, ball secure...what wasn't a touchdown about that? Same with Johnson, what wasn't a touchdown about that?
But Johnson put himself in the situation, in the position for that rule to again rear it's ugly head when he left the ball on the ground. At the end of his tumble, he put his hand down and let go of the ball and his fate, instead leaving a sure touchdown up to interpretation by bureaucratic nonsense. That is why Calvin takes more of the blame than the rule.
Hold on to the ball for a second longer and drop it while standing up, or throw it into the stands and run bareass through the tunnel. Anything would have been been a better idea than leaving the ball on the ground.
But that rule is still seven shades of stupid.
Click on for more musings...
NFL Injuries and Players Frighten Me
What could those Saw movies ever do that would be scarier than that picture of Connor Barwin. And it was a freak injury of happenstance, with a teammate accidentally falling over him to create...that.
Sideline reporter Pam Oliver originally reported that Leonard Weaver had a sprained knee here.
Kris Jenkins lost 34 pounds this offseason to get down to 359 pounds and then walked off the field with a torn ACL Monday night. Ho-hum, torn ACL, morbidly obese. Going to go walk now.
Maybe not high school players yet - outside of Texas or Florida - and not all of college football, but these NFL players are not normal humans anymore. The size and speed of the players playing today is unlike anything ever seen anywhere, creating a hazardous field filled with broken limbs and torn ligaments.
Imagine if Haloti Ngata decided to become a supervillian - what tank would stop him? What government could contain him? In another age, Ngata would correctly and respectfully be offered sacrificial crops and goats in hopes of his benevolence.
If Julius Peppers had come along three decades ago, old-timers would talk endlessly about this Goliath. Mario Williams, Chris Johnson, Andre Johnson, Ray Lewis - the Fantastic Four would cower. The Four Horseman would tap out. And Ray is past his prime! Or maybe not.
Stating the obvious, it's dangerous on that field. Someday soon, it's going to be considered child endangerment to let your kid play football, especially if your kid is a 27 year-old five-year veteran NFL cornerback with three kids of his own.
Dallas Will be Fine
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There is always reason to have pessimism about the Cowboys thanks to the media oversaturating the marketplace with story after story about America's Team - a nickname which is probably disputed by fans in Seattle, Denver, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Miami, etc. etc. Every year Dallas is "Super Bowl Favorites." Every year. It gets tiresome.
But that doesn't mean the Cowboys aren't good or that they can't recover from an opening day loss.
Helping matters will be the return of offensive lineman Kyle Kosier and Marc Colombo, who are returning to practice this week and will potentially play Sunday. Getting them back in the starting lineup, and mainly getting Alex Barron out of the starting lineup, will help Tony Romo distribute the ball to the plethora of skilled players Dallas has on offense.
Once their line shakes out, the healthy Marion Barber and Felix Jones should be the very good one-two punch they can be. The passing game, with Miles Austin, Jason Witten, and Dez Bryant, shouldn't be a question mark.
Their defense looked as good as they did towards the end of last season, with DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer causing damage on the edge, Jay Ratliff holding the line, and Mike Jenkins continuing to play at an elite level.
Anyone who wants to bet this team wins less than ten games this season is wasting their money.
The Jets aren't a Fraud, But...
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With all the offseason hype and parades, it was easy to forget the Jets were extremely and unbelievably fortunate last season. They needed to win their last two games to make it to the postseason - and they played two teams who sat their starters. They deserve credit for winning their playoff games since their defense and running game were not a mirage, but they still needed luck to get there.
And they'll need luck again, or at least improved play, to make it back this season. Especially with the aforementioned injury to Kris Jenkins - that said, he missed ten games and the postseason last year, so they should be able to cope. And the running game should work better against lesser defenses than it did against Ray Lewis and the Ravens. And the defense is the only reason the Jets had a chance at winning that game.
But will they be able to handle Mark Sanchez's impotence at quarterback? Sanchez has spent most of his career looking like a hybrid of a high school quarterback and Zoolander, and things didn't look different in week one. Having Santonio Holmes back after his four-game suspension should aid Sanchez. It should, but only time will tell.
New York can win any game they play this year on the back of their defense alone. But to be the Super Bowl team they claim to be, they will need to get something, anything from their passing game.
Randy Moss is Going to Rip Up the NFL, Again
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When Randy Moss took to the podium after the Patriots decisive victory Sunday, he was attempting to quash any possibility that his motives or play would be questioned this season because of his contract situation.
In typical Moss fashion, the message got lost in translation. Just like when he was responding to the idea that Cris Carter was crucial to getting him ready to play and his career, and he said "I play when I want to play," a statement that has been taken out of context and thrown back in his face time and time again by the national media.
Moss could have chosen a better time and place to get his point across, but that's not his style. He wanted to do it there, so he did it there, que sera. He doesn't deal with social mores or people's perceptions. It is safe to assume his team knows where his heart is, though (skip ahead to 0:45).
Also, if you're going to call Randy Moss selfish for talking about his contract (and participating in offseason programs and not holding out), then what is Logan Mankins? What is Vincent Jackson?
This week, Randy is going to Revis Island to play against Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis. This offseason Revis called Moss a slouch.
"We're coming to the Meadowlands on Sunday, man, so you got 60 minutes of this 'slouch,'" Moss said this week. "I prided my offseason on staying off Revis Island."
There are three certainties in this life: Death, taxes, and don't bet against a motivated Randy Moss. If you want to question his play or what he brings to the Patriots, just wait.
Ines Sainz is a Former Miss Spain (You Know, Like, the Country?)
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I don't want to put my foot in my mouth too much on this sensitive issue in this politically correct world, so I'll just direct you to Mark Kriegel's well-balanced piece that showed you can disagree with the treatment she received and disagree with her - not all female reporters, but her - being in a professional NFL locker room.
Potential Playoff Teams That Shouldn't be Worried About a Week 1 Loss
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Indianapolis Colts: Is Peyton Manning still alive? Okay then.
Minnesota Vikings: No shame in losing to the defending Super Bowl champions on their homefield. Favre will need more time to shake off the rust, get in tune with the healthy recievers, and pray for Sidney Rice to hit the ground running. And is Adrian Peterson still alive? Okay then.
The Vikings could lose against Miami this week and still shouldn't be too worried. Now, if they lose the next week to Detroit...
Atlanta Falcons: No shame in losing at Pittsburgh in overtime. They would like more production from Michael Turner, but again, they played at Pittsburgh. Playing at home against Arizona should be good for what ails 'em.
Cincinnati Bengals: This one might be a stretch, since Palmer and Ochocinco wracked up most of their yards against a shell defense. But they did get in rhythm and their defense won't see too many offenses like the Patriots this season. Their division is still their biggest impediment to the playoffs, but Cincinnati has the tools.
Potential Playoff Teams That Should be Worried About a Week 1 Loss
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San Diego Chargers: More than Vincent Jackson or Tomlinson, the Chargers miss left tackle Marcus McNeill. Glen Dorsey abused backup Brandyn Dombrowski Monday night, creating fits in the backfield for Phillip Rivers.
Their defense handled the Chiefs pretty well, save one long Jamaal Charles run, but their special teams was in disarray the whole night. There are several concerns on this team, big concerns that can derail a season. With Rivers and Gates they can still right the ship. But the AFC West might not be their birthright anymore.
San Francisco 49ers: Yuck. Alex Smith, Michael Crabtree, their secondary, their play calling...pick a problem, any problem. One good thing: they're still in the NFC West.
Philadelphia Eagles: Remember when we thought there wouldn't be a quarterback controversy in Philadelphia this season? Good times. Good times. While Andy Reid insists Kevin Kolb is still the starter, if Kolb plays like that again even Reid will have to admit a change should be made. They also lost center Jamaal Jackson for the season; when they lost Jackson last season, their offense took a nosedive. Another bad thing: they're still in the NFC East.
Carolina Panthers: Matt Moore left Sunday's game with a concussion, but he should have left because of poor play. Poor, poor play. He looked like he was shaving points. If he can't play Sunday, rookie Jimmy Clausen will start against Tampa Bay. Either way, expect the Panthers to run the ball. Often.
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Kansas City Chiefs: They looked like a dangerous, explosive team out there, one that can create a big play at any moment. Good news: they're in the AFC West.
Seattle Seahawks: That was a well-coached, well-disciplined team with a very good quarterback and a vicious defense. Seems like a formula that's worked before. Good news: they're in the NFC West.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: If they can win a division game on the road in Carolina and go to 2-0, that'd be a good step.
Week 2 Survivor Pool Pick
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Buffalo at Green Bay?
I understand why someone would bet a house sometimes.