NFL Power Rankings Week 2: Michael Vick & Top 10 Quarterbacks

One of Matt Moore's many terrible plays.
Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Is the NFL serious right now?

I don't know if I can stomach a full-season of performances from Alex Smith, Matt Moore, Mark Sanchez, Jake Delhomme, Derek Anderson, Kevin Kolb, and pretty much every quarterback in the league.

The performances were so putrid, so pathetic, and so embarrassing I wanted to cut the top-10 list down to five because the slop is starting to spew over. Hell, even Aaron Rodgers, who is my most bestest friend in the whole wide world looked pretty bad at times during his season opener in Philadelphia.

The stiffs I mentioned earlier had about seven months to prepare for the first game of the season and they stunk up the joint. Maybe I'm a little cynical because Kolb played incredibly bad for my Eagles or maybe I'm just speaking the truth and sometimes the truth hurts.

Either way I'm going to run with this sarcastic outlook in my Power Rankings, so away we go.

No. 10: Michael Vick

Love 'em or hate 'em no one can deny how great those unis are.
Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

The Packers were clearly not ready for the Michael Vick Experience and it showed.

Vick threw for 175 yards, ran for 103, tossed a touchdown, and did not turn the ball over while marching the Eagles back from a 20-3 deficit to nearly tie the game on the final drive of the season.

Do I think Vick is the 10th best quarterback in the NFL?

Why the hell not? You want to tell me someone like Donovan McNabb is?

That clown completed less than 50 percent of his passes, skipped balls like stones being thrown across a pond, and put six points on the board.

In the end, I do want Kolb back under center to see what he brings to the team, but for right now Vick gets on the list because of what did in Week 1.

No. 9: Joe Flacco

Stayed composed despite rocky moments.
Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Joe Flacco was hit so hard by Jet defenders Shaun Ellis and Bryan Thomas it permanently knocked his uni-brow off.

After the first play of the game it appeared the Jets defense was going to be on its "A" game and Flacco was in store for a brutal night. As it turned out, the Jets defense played incredibly well, but so did the fearless Flacco.

The Ravens were able to convert on numerous third downs due to Flacco making quick decisions or buying time in the pocket.

A big thanks has to go out to Anquan Boldin who looked like one of the game's best receivers.

No. 8: Matt Schaub

His best play of the game
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Man, I really wanted to put Schaub higher on this list, but he really wasn't the main reason Houston finally beat Indianapolis on Sunday. That distinction goes to Arian Foster.

The numbers were boring, and he didn't have any unbelievably great plays, but we all know he is one of the game's best quarterbacks.

The weird thing is that I don't know if Schaub and the Texans will be able to beat Washington this weekend.

No. 7: Eli Manning

This is the Eli I've grown to hate.
Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

As long as the Giants keep winning I feel like I have to put Eli Manning on the list.

He completed three passes to the other team, but also had three touchdowns.

Maybe he looked good because he was on the same field as Matt Moore, who was an embarrassment to anyone that ever played quarterback at any level.

Maybe Peyton can find a way to hand his brother a loss so I can get Eli off the list.

No. 6: Jay Cutler

Dying to throw a pick and show his true colors
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Can we pretend Jay Cutler is not a top-10 quarterback?

Good.

Next please.

No. 5: Aaron Rodgers

Not too good in week one.
Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Aaron Rodgers looked like Brett Favre on some players and Doug Pederson on others.

Rodgers was my preseason MVP and the quarterback who was going to win the Super Bowl.

I'm sticking with those predictions until things get ugly in Green Bay. The biggest concern facing Rodgers will be his offensive line, which was horrible against an average front seven put on the field by the Philadelphia Eagles.

No. 4: Phillip Rivers

Loves football until January rollls around
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

I really can't stand Phillip Rivers because of his ability to consistently choke in the playoffs.

But I have to admit that Rivers is a great regular season quarterback.

He made Legedu Naanee and Malcom Floyd look like Jerry Rice and John Taylor. When you can do that, you get major props and a top-5 ranking despite his team dropping a tough game in Week 1.

No. 3: Peyton Manning

"Gosh dang it!"
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

I'm going to take this time to pat myself on the back.

During the preseason I said the Colts would not make the playoffs and so far, so good as the Colts are on pace to go 0-16. Hey, you can't lose 'em all unless you lose the first one, right?

Peyton Manning racked up a ton of yards on 57 friggin pass attempts and most of those yards were in garbage time because the Houston Texans were blowing the doors off the Colts.

Now is it fair to put any or all of the blame on Manning for the loss?

Not at all.

Do I care about being fair?

Not at all.

Despite the profound hatred I have to put him in the top 3.

No. 2: Drew Brees

He's really good.
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Drew Brees held down the No. 1 spot last week by default and he really didn't deserve to get bumped off the pedestal.

Oh well. That's how it's going to be.

Brees completed 70 percent of his passes last year and proved he may be the most accurate passer I have ever seen as he opened up the 2010 season completing 75 percent of his attempts.

It seems like he makes about four or five passes per game where I sit back and say, "Did he really just complete that pass?"

The only thing I don't get about Drew Brees is the eye black he wears when playing in a dome.

No. 1: Tom Brady

Pssst. Throw it to Randy.
Jim Rogash/Getty Images

I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of disappointed in Tom Terrific Sunday afternoon.

He threw three touchdown passes, which is great because I have Brady on my fantasy team. The downside was that none of the touchdowns went to Randy Moss, who is also on my fantasy team.

Fantasy land aside, Brady looked incredibly calm in the pocket, accurate and without a doubt, the best quarterback in Week 1.

I already said Brady would throw 50 touchdowns this year so why not one more bold prediction? The Pats will go 16-0...Again.