The 10 Best Nicknames in Sports Today
Night Train Lane. Oil Can Boyd. The Galloping Ghost.
Sports nicknames aren't what they once were, as those phenomenal examples prove. That doesn't mean that there aren't some very strong nicknames in the game today.
As a man who has numerous monikers, ranging from the normal (Sheffy), to the somewhat ridiculous (ShefMoney), to the absolutely absurd (The Water Fountain Wrangler; Banana Fudge Nut), this list is in more than capable hands. Let's get started.
10. Captain America (Tom Brady)
Even though this nickname probably lost a little luster after SpyGate, it still holds up. Think about it: He's a three-time Super Bowl champion, he was at the helm of a perfect regular season, he's married to a super model, he inspired an awe inspiring homo-erotic song a few years back, and he pulled off a successful hump and dump on the ravishing Bridget Moynahan, who is now raising his son.
What's more American than that?
9. All-Day (Adrian Peterson)
To be called "All-Day", it means you kick ass and take names all day, every day. Imagine if I tried to call myself "All-Day". For what? Because I like to drink beer all day every Saturday? Because I have some days where I literally do nothing all day? Lame.
But Peterson has clearly earned being called AD.
8. The Bulin Wall (Nikolai Khabibulin)
Even though he is barely relevant as a player anymore, his nickname still rocks hard. Not that they're happy memories, but it reminds us of a time when Russia was shady and powerful as opposed to shady and mostly irrelevant. Plus, it gives me an excuse to link this. (No, Khabibulin has nothing to do with that clip, but any flimsy excuse to watch the greatest moment in sports history is good enough for me)
7. The Boogeyman (Derek Boogaard)
A terrifying man with a frightening name.
One of the newest additions to the New York Rangers, Boogaard has one of the most fitting nicknames I've ever heard of. He's a man who loves nothing more than dropping the gloves, and has carved out a nice NHL career despite having little to no discernible hockey skill. Quite the feat indeed.
Oh yeah, and he caved in Todd Fedoruk's face, an enforcer of some repute in his own right.
6. Durantula (Kevin Durant)
Durant is poised to become the NBAs next mega superstar. He ranks right up there with Dwight Howard and LeBron in the "Genetically Engineered Freak" contest. He is 6'-9", fast as hell, who can score anywhere on the floor. He got his moniker because of his stupid length. He would be even more well-known if he wasn't so humble. Case in point: he has decided to keep his talents in Oklahoma City for another five years.
5. The Sanchize (Mark Sanchez)
Just a cool sounding nickname. I've been watching "Hard Knocks" and Sanchez comes off as a cool guy and a good leader. Unfortunately for Jets fans, it's possible that his nickname and personality are both better than he is as a football player. The jury is still out, of course, but he has looked several shades of awful this preseason. More than anyone else, Sanchez will affect whether or not the Jets will contend for the Super Bowl again or not.
4. Big Time Timmy Jim (Tim Lincecum)
Alright, so it hasn't completely caught on yet, but it was the punchline from an awesome "SportsCenter" commercial. It has also spawned a Facebook group and sweet t-shirts. C'mon, America! Even though this hasn't been his strongest season, it's time for us to unite as a nation and join the Big Time Timmy Jim revolution.
3. Black Mamba (Kobe Bryant)
I love "Black Mamba" because it's so unbelievably obscure. The only mamba I had ever heard of was the delicious candy, so when this nickname surfaced a few years back, it threw me for a loop. As it turns out, the black mamba is the longest venomous snake in Africa. Chew on that for a bit (get it!). Considering the fact that I am abjectly terrified of snakes, I hope Kobe is the only mamba I ever see in my time on Earth.
2. A-Roid, A-Fraud (tie) (Alex Rodriguez)
They aren't original or all that funny. So why #2?
I hate A-Rod, so anything that besmirches the name of that cheating creep is A-OK in my book.
I realize he has amazing numbers and now has a ring, but he's my least favorite player on my least favorite team in baseball. Good enough for me.
1. The King (LeBron James)
Just kidding, he's an ass.
My real favorite nickname in sports today is...
1. The Silver Fox (Brett Favre)
He's is cagey, crafty, cunning, obviously gets what he wants, and is old as hell. The Silver Fox is a fitting moniker indeed.
The hilarious Jared Allen gave the ol' gunslinger his new nickname last year, and it stuck. He's now back for one more rodeo, kicking things off Thursday down in the Big Easy.
A quick aside: If you would have told me five years ago I would be rooting for both Favre and Jim Thome, I would have punched you in the face and been 100% justified in doing so. Now? I couldn't be happier about it.
So, sadly, that brings us to the end of our list. Agree? Did I miss a couple obvious ones? Think I'm a complete idiot? Feel free to let me know.
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